Comments on: Push to achieve tied to… deception? http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/ A blog for Asian Americans Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:41:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: 8Asians.com » Family Obligation May Lessen Depression Symptoms for Chinese American Teens http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-125010 8Asians.com » Family Obligation May Lessen Depression Symptoms for Chinese American Teens Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:03:08 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-125010 [...] cause for death for Asian American women ages 15-24, the highest rate of all ethnicities. We’ve blogged about the pressure from parents to achieve academically, and even the study on how organized religion may [...] [...] cause for death for Asian American women ages 15-24, the highest rate of all ethnicities. We’ve blogged about the pressure from parents to achieve academically, and even the study on how organized religion may [...]

]]> By: 8Asians.com » Asian Carrera: Truly Baring All: An Asian American/Asian Canadian Blog http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-50958 8Asians.com » Asian Carrera: Truly Baring All: An Asian American/Asian Canadian Blog Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:00:32 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-50958 [...] written in detail to how her parents put tremendous amounts of pressure on her, something that many Asian teenagers struggle with. As to her naysayers, she wrote this while still in the middle of her porn career: I know some of [...] [...] written in detail to how her parents put tremendous amounts of pressure on her, something that many Asian teenagers struggle with. As to her naysayers, she wrote this while still in the middle of her porn career: I know some of [...]

]]> By: 8Asians.com » 8Asians.com’s Top 8 Posts of 2007 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-49863 8Asians.com » 8Asians.com’s Top 8 Posts of 2007 Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:21:51 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-49863 [...] Push To Achieve Tied to Deception Vong’s article cites a number of anecdotes about the heavy academic demands of Asian immigrant [...] [...] Push To Achieve Tied to Deception Vong’s article cites a number of anecdotes about the heavy academic demands of Asian immigrant [...]

]]> By: Elizabeth Fong http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-23954 Elizabeth Fong Wed, 01 Aug 2007 02:39:08 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-23954 My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C's, D's, and F's) - throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical "Asian" parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide. My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C’s, D’s, and F’s) – throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical “Asian” parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide.

]]> By: Elizabeth Fong http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-135540 Elizabeth Fong Wed, 01 Aug 2007 02:39:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-135540 My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C's, D's, and F's) - throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical "Asian" parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide. My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C’s, D’s, and F’s) – throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical “Asian” parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide.

]]> By: Mike http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-13210 Mike Wed, 30 May 2007 23:43:35 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-13210 Luke & Palma, Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent. Luke & Palma,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent.

]]> By: Mike http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-135539 Mike Wed, 30 May 2007 23:43:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-135539 Luke & Palma, Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent. Luke & Palma,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent.

]]> By: palma http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-13146 palma Wed, 30 May 2007 09:34:32 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-13146 well i'm a 1.5 k.a. mother. i finished schoo, had a good job, all those things before becoming a mother---an older mother. from my upbringing i can relate to all the previous posts about the negative aspects of growing up in a 1st gen. k.a. family...all the expectations. it wasn't fun. family life sad to admit wasn't fun. you could never meet any expectations. even here in my forties, it still frustrates me thinking about it. now that i'm a mom i realize just how conditional everthing was....unconditional love, acceptance, was not present. i'm also quite sympathetic, empathetic to the way my parents lead their lives and raised their family but now as a parent i just find it startling how everything their children did just wasn't enough...they had to achieve more and more . as luke stated i would never raise my children this way. even writing this short blob makes me frustrated. well i’m a 1.5 k.a. mother. i finished schoo, had a good job, all those things before becoming a mother—an older mother.
from my upbringing i can relate to all the previous posts about the negative aspects of growing up in a 1st gen. k.a. family…all the expectations.
it wasn’t fun. family life sad to admit wasn’t fun. you could never meet any expectations. even here in my forties, it still frustrates me thinking about it.
now that i’m a mom i realize just how conditional everthing was….unconditional love, acceptance, was not present.
i’m also quite sympathetic, empathetic to the way my parents lead their lives and raised their family but now as a parent i just find it startling how everything their children did just wasn’t enough…they had to achieve more and more .
as luke stated i would never raise my children this way. even writing this short blob makes me frustrated.

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