Comments on: Push to achieve tied to… deception? http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:43:09 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: 8Asians.com » Family Obligation May Lessen Depression Symptoms for Chinese American Teens http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-125010 8Asians.com » Family Obligation May Lessen Depression Symptoms for Chinese American Teens Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:03:08 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-125010 [...] cause for death for Asian American women ages 15-24, the highest rate of all ethnicities. We’ve blogged about the pressure from parents to achieve academically, and even the study on how organized religion may [...] [...] cause for death for Asian American women ages 15-24, the highest rate of all ethnicities. We’ve blogged about the pressure from parents to achieve academically, and even the study on how organized religion may [...]

]]> By: 8Asians.com » Asian Carrera: Truly Baring All: An Asian American/Asian Canadian Blog http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-50958 8Asians.com » Asian Carrera: Truly Baring All: An Asian American/Asian Canadian Blog Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:00:32 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-50958 [...] written in detail to how her parents put tremendous amounts of pressure on her, something that many Asian teenagers struggle with. As to her naysayers, she wrote this while still in the middle of her porn career: I know some of [...] [...] written in detail to how her parents put tremendous amounts of pressure on her, something that many Asian teenagers struggle with. As to her naysayers, she wrote this while still in the middle of her porn career: I know some of [...]

]]> By: 8Asians.com » 8Asians.com’s Top 8 Posts of 2007 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-49863 8Asians.com » 8Asians.com’s Top 8 Posts of 2007 Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:21:51 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-49863 [...] Push To Achieve Tied to Deception Vong’s article cites a number of anecdotes about the heavy academic demands of Asian immigrant [...] [...] Push To Achieve Tied to Deception Vong’s article cites a number of anecdotes about the heavy academic demands of Asian immigrant [...]

]]> By: Elizabeth Fong http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-23954 Elizabeth Fong Wed, 01 Aug 2007 02:39:08 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-23954 My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C's, D's, and F's) - throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical "Asian" parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide. My cousin committed suicide when he was a junior or senior in high school in large part due to depression about his poor grades (C’s, D’s, and F’s) – throughout, his mother had insisted that he go to Stanford and had been excessively pushy, in denial about what expectations were realistic for her son. The amount of pressure that stereotypical “Asian” parents exert upon their children in vicariously living their lives through them is often abusive and can even rise to such tragic and horrific proportions as causing suicide.

]]> By: Mike http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-13210 Mike Wed, 30 May 2007 23:43:35 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-13210 Luke & Palma, Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent. Luke & Palma,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. A friend (who coincidentally happens to be Korean American too) once told me that the most important thing she learned from her parents was how NOT to be a parent.

]]> By: palma http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-13146 palma Wed, 30 May 2007 09:34:32 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-13146 well i'm a 1.5 k.a. mother. i finished schoo, had a good job, all those things before becoming a mother---an older mother. from my upbringing i can relate to all the previous posts about the negative aspects of growing up in a 1st gen. k.a. family...all the expectations. it wasn't fun. family life sad to admit wasn't fun. you could never meet any expectations. even here in my forties, it still frustrates me thinking about it. now that i'm a mom i realize just how conditional everthing was....unconditional love, acceptance, was not present. i'm also quite sympathetic, empathetic to the way my parents lead their lives and raised their family but now as a parent i just find it startling how everything their children did just wasn't enough...they had to achieve more and more . as luke stated i would never raise my children this way. even writing this short blob makes me frustrated. well i’m a 1.5 k.a. mother. i finished schoo, had a good job, all those things before becoming a mother—an older mother.
from my upbringing i can relate to all the previous posts about the negative aspects of growing up in a 1st gen. k.a. family…all the expectations.
it wasn’t fun. family life sad to admit wasn’t fun. you could never meet any expectations. even here in my forties, it still frustrates me thinking about it.
now that i’m a mom i realize just how conditional everthing was….unconditional love, acceptance, was not present.
i’m also quite sympathetic, empathetic to the way my parents lead their lives and raised their family but now as a parent i just find it startling how everything their children did just wasn’t enough…they had to achieve more and more .
as luke stated i would never raise my children this way. even writing this short blob makes me frustrated.

]]> By: Mike http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-12853 Mike Sun, 27 May 2007 22:59:26 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-12853 Oh, sorry, I didn't realize my entry sounded like I thought it was just parental pressure that leads to these issues. I agree that what's missing is emotional and social support from parents, which translates to what you're saying, Akrypti. I probably could have worded this entry better, I guess. Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize my entry sounded like I thought it was just parental pressure that leads to these issues.

I agree that what’s missing is emotional and social support from parents, which translates to what you’re saying, Akrypti. I probably could have worded this entry better, I guess.

]]> By: Akrypti http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-12849 Akrypti Sun, 27 May 2007 20:31:53 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-12849 Are we seriously blaming the parents for the child's fraudulent conduct? Asian parents pressure their children to excel because they realize it's a dog eat dog world out there and if these children can't handle parental pressure, then how are they ever going to prevail under the pressure the real world imposes on them? The missing factor in most taditional Asian upbringing is reminding the children that they're unconditionally loved. That's the root cause of wayward Asian children, *NOT* Asian parents' imposition of strict standards of achievement. Are we seriously blaming the parents for the child’s fraudulent conduct? Asian parents pressure their children to excel because they realize it’s a dog eat dog world out there and if these children can’t handle parental pressure, then how are they ever going to prevail under the pressure the real world imposes on them?

The missing factor in most taditional Asian upbringing is reminding the children that they’re unconditionally loved. That’s the root cause of wayward Asian children, *NOT* Asian parents’ imposition of strict standards of achievement.

]]> By: Luke http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-12817 Luke Sun, 27 May 2007 16:37:42 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-12817 As a Korean-American, sadly this does not surprise me one bit. Pretty much any Asian-American can figure out why she did this. All this BS Korean parenting is finally getting exposed. My sister got into Stanford and when she told my uncles and aunts their response was "Then how come you didn't get into Harvard." Seriously, what kind of crap is that? If my sister were caucasian, black or Latino, then getting into Stanford would have been a monumental occasian. Only Koreans could find something negative. I love and am very proud of my heritage but I am NEVER going to raise my kids like Koreans do. I'm going to raise them like Americans so they can be happy. I've met too many Asian kids who wanted to be writers, actors, chefs, fashion designers, etc... who have had their dreams shot down by overbearing parents and who are now depressed and bitter. All this pressure coupled with the fact that Asian parents are consistently negative and putting you down is going to make a lot more Azia Kims and a lot more suicides. As a Korean-American, sadly this does not surprise me one bit. Pretty much any Asian-American can figure out why she did this. All this BS Korean parenting is finally getting exposed. My sister got into Stanford and when she told my uncles and aunts their response was “Then how come you didn’t get into Harvard.” Seriously, what kind of crap is that? If my sister were caucasian, black or Latino, then getting into Stanford would have been a monumental occasian. Only Koreans could find something negative.

I love and am very proud of my heritage but I am NEVER going to raise my kids like Koreans do. I’m going to raise them like Americans so they can be happy. I’ve met too many Asian kids who wanted to be writers, actors, chefs, fashion designers, etc… who have had their dreams shot down by overbearing parents and who are now depressed and bitter. All this pressure coupled with the fact that Asian parents are consistently negative and putting you down is going to make a lot more Azia Kims and a lot more suicides.

]]> By: jennifer http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/comment-page-1/#comment-12784 jennifer Sun, 27 May 2007 12:28:14 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/05/26/push-to-achieve-tied-to-deception/#comment-12784 okazaki has not been officially confirmed by Stanford as an "imposter" student. the story of Azia Kim is astounding! okazaki has not been officially confirmed by Stanford as an “imposter” student.

the story of Azia Kim is astounding!

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