Before I say anything else, for the record, I am quoting someone else! I do not feel this way at all!
Ok, now that’s clear, I want to make some commentary on the statement above. I, for one, have always been proud of my Asian/Taiwanese heritage. Sure, when I was a kid on the playground and I went to a predominantly white elementary school, it was tough “not fitting in.” But I was raised by my parents to really understand our roots… that being Taiwanese was something special and that fitting in was less important than knowing who I was. I will admit there that I had passing thoughts of wanting to look like Barbie, but for the most part, I find it hard to recall a time that I wished to be anything other than Asian.
This morning, I was checking out the Yelp* threads and I saw this Yelp Talk topic started by a gal named “Anh T.”
Here’s what she said:
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t Asian…
My main reasons:
1) My English is probably better than yours so you don’t have to use one syllable words as often as possible.
2) I’m not interested in talking to you about martial arts or Chinese horoscopes.
3) I’m not that compliant; in fact, I bitch all the time.
4) I do not provide pre-coital massages or post-coital tea.
Since I don’t know her and I don’t know where she’s really coming from, I’m not trying to judge her or call her out by saying she’s some sort of self-hating racist or anything beyond thinking that this would be an interesting topic for 8Asians. (I actually think she’s kind of kidding; she explains later: “I was just venting about some recent experiences. I’m not rejecting my background, I just wish that I didn’t have to deal with these dumb stereotypes from dumb people.”)
Anyway, it’s an interesting thread and I’m wondering what you think about it all.
Have you ever felt this way?
*Yelp account may be required to view thread.
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john patrick wrote:
It looks to me that she’s really complaining about the way white people treat her; talking down to her, expecting her to be a stereotype.
Posted on 10-Jun-07 at 7:28 pm | Permalink
Ernie wrote:
Yeah, actually… I’m agreeing with JP on this one. Her tone of voice is being sarcastic; I don’t think she’s serious. And from a personal level, I’ve found myself doing the “I wish I wasn’t gay” thing more than the “I wish I wasn’t Asian” thing, but that’s just me.
Posted on 12-Jun-07 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
jozjozjoz wrote:
Agreed.
But even if she’s being sarcastic, why would she wish to not be Asian?
Why wouldn’t she wish that other people aren’t ignorant?
Posted on 12-Jun-07 at 12:55 pm | Permalink
Lily wrote:
Joz,
I agree with you. BUT, I think- I hope- that you told her directly, instead of just talking about her behind her back on your blog. Just sayin.
Lil
Posted on 13-Jun-07 at 9:41 pm | Permalink
Andrew wrote:
Possibly because in a magic wand scenario, it’d be easier to change one person’s “race” rather than an entire society’s prejudicies. Plus, she presumably only means external appearances - she’d still be “Asian” on the inside.
When I was growing up as the only non-white kid in a school of 400 in a remote school in Wales, UK (think Nebraska without the glam), I was once asked if I’d ever wondered about changing my race. Even with the overwhelming whiteness of everyone around me, it never even occured to me that I should even contemplate changing my race.
Having said that, it’d be fun to see what life was like as a non-Asian. Then again, it’d also be fun to see what life is like as a woman, or a Martian.
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 5:28 am | Permalink
john patrick wrote:
joz,
you and I would never wish something like “not being asian.” i wonder if “being asian” to her seems less of a given than “having to live in an ignorant context.”
i wonder if this is another east coast/west coast thing… that post on this blog a while ago by another author about west coast asians has been stuck in my sociopolitical consciousness for a while now…
as a thirty something in seattle, i just don’t experience that much ignorant stuff anymore. when i do see somebody’s cultural blindspot, i don’t wish i wasn’t asian, i wish that the people around me were filipino!
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 8:03 am | Permalink
john patrick wrote:
anecdote alert: (relating to “my english is probably better than yours…)
my cousin was in an airport somewhere in the u.s., and someone asked her loudly if she spoke english. She said, “no,” and kept walking.
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 8:06 am | Permalink
jozjozjoz wrote:
Lil, No intent to talk behind her back.
Thanks for reminding me; I’m going to send her a private message letting her know about this thread (and the corresponding one on my personal blog) now.
I still think that I’d have been funnier if it was titled “Sometimes I wish people weren’t retarded…” but that would offend a whole different group of people!
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 9:10 am | Permalink
Akrypti wrote:
Once a month, for a string of several days, I wish to God I wasn’t a girl. It’s usually just a careless utterance in the heat of frustration, or…just in the heat… But this doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist.
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 2:09 pm | Permalink
Christine wrote:
lol @ Akrypti’s comment …
yeah … I remember wanting to rip out my uterus and throw it against the window … and then I think, I want babies.
Re: the actual post
Generally when I come across ignorance like that, depending on my mood - see above comment - I question them to no end - it’s fun seeing someone dig their own grave.
Posted on 14-Jun-07 at 4:01 pm | Permalink
Lily wrote:
I actually posted on her thread too. Funny it seems that there are a million threads on these topics that come up and then fade.
Posted on 17-Jun-07 at 3:50 pm | Permalink
jennifer wrote:
Of course there are times when I wish I wasn’t Asian…this reminds me of a bit Margaret Cho does when she talks about the times she wishes she wasn’t Asian either! Although I think the Yelp thread was sarcastic, I think it’s “ok” to experience times of doubt.
Posted on 20-Jun-07 at 8:24 am | Permalink
john patrick wrote:
Is the Margaret Cho bit you’re referring to the one where she needs glue for school, and the mom says, “just use rice.” and then she says “mom, why can’t we just have American glue!”
This is slightly different from the Yelp woman, who is annoyed at the way white people treat her. Margaret Cho’s situation is about her parents. I’m not sure if the distinction is important here, but I just thought I’d point it out.
Kids often say they wish they could swap out their parents, but I doubt Margaret Cho would want to. Too much material.
Posted on 20-Jun-07 at 10:41 am | Permalink
jennifer wrote:
john, i think margaret cho relates that story when she talks about social discrimination, not in reference to her parents. I thought that this was in relation to the story she tells when she went to Florida to meet her future in-laws and she says that they treated her “too nicely”. (But don’t quote me on this).
Any other Margaret Cho fans out there?
Posted on 23-Jun-07 at 8:57 am | Permalink
angela wrote:
well i hav to agree with her i ve gone through it too, i hated that i was asian because since i was a preschooler kids use to make fun of my language which really hurt me, people also use to go up to me and told me to teach them tae kwon do all the time just because of my race of being asian and they still do but we cant do anything about people being jerks so we should just accept it and move on.
Posted on 19-Apr-08 at 9:31 am | Permalink