Comments on: Bi-racial Couples – A first person account http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/ A blog for Asian Americans Mon, 13 Feb 2012 05:45:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Observer http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-2/#comment-145605 Observer Sun, 23 Jan 2011 11:49:31 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-145605 As an Asian-American Male myself, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the fact that more Asian Males are increasingly starting relationships with White Females. The number of Asian Male-White Female couples that people see on the street are increasing as time goes by as Asian Males increasingly develop the self-confidence, character traits, charisma, and other qualities in men that women value to be a steady provider and someone skilled enough with people to keep a long-term relationship going, to start relationships with White Females. And also the numbers of Asian Male-White Female couples will gradually increase as White Females find out that yes, many Asian men are interested in them and White Females in turn become unafraid to take the initiative and show their interest in Asian Men and/or to return the interest shown by Asian Men in them. The number of Asian Males starting relationships with White Females and females of other races will only increase as more and more Asian Males develop the bravery and courage to overcome their previous fears and get the guts to just go for it and ask women of other races out on dates whether they succeed or fail at first. And it will also increase as enough Asian Males develop enough adaptability skills to figure out the reason why they failed if they did not succeed at first in getting a date with a women of another race and so then change themselves so that they grow as people and improve themselves so that they take a different approach so that they succeed the next time, and as they develop enough persistency to keep on trying even if they do not initially succeed at first. As more and more Asian Males ask White Women and women of other races out on dates, more and more Asian Men will succeed in dating them and more and more Asian Men and White Women and women of other races will see this, and the numbers of couples will build up critical mass and more and more Asian Males and Women of Other Races will do the same thing and it will have a rolling snowball effect. More and more Asian Males will succeed in starting relationships with women of other races, and the numbers of Asian Male-Females of Other Races couples will only increase as time goes by. As the ancient Chinese used to say, sometimes you just have to “jump into the open ocean”. And as the old Western sayings go, “No guts, no glory”, and “Fortune favors the brave.” I do think however, that Asian Men should not mind if White Men or other races of men increasingly start relationships with Asian Women, even if there are an extremely large number of such relationships and women of other races don’t reciprocate as readily at first. You can still start relationships with other races of women, you just have to overcome greater odds in order to do so. But let us always keep peace with one another no matter what happens. I believe that this should be true even if this causes many Asian Women to reject Asian Men and to look down on them and to put them down as unworthy of them also. That will never be true for Asian Men and Asian Women and for Asian Men and any other race of women also, or for any woman individually. I do not think that if this happens and Asian Women start making fun of Asian Men, that Asian Men should lower themselves to respond to and fight back against Asian Women who stoop down to that level to do such a thing, because all it means is that if there are no more Asian Women who will start relationships with Asian Men, that Asian Men will have to start relationships with women of other races instead of Asian Women. It may be harder to do such a thing, and Asian Men may have to adjust themselves as people and grow and improve themselves as people in order to do such a thing and you may have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but, as the increasing number of Asian Man-Women of other Races couples prove, it is possible. I also do not think that Asian Men should mind White Men and men of other races starting relationships with Asian Women also because for Asian Men who believe in interracial relationships with Asian Men and Women of Other Races, it would be hypocritical for them to be against Asian Female-Men of Other Races relationships. It would be a double-standard and would be forbidding others to do what Asian Men want themselves, you’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated in life, and so because it is wrong for Asian Men who are for Asian Man-Women of Other Races relationships to be against Asian Woman-Men of Other Races couples, I do not think that Asian Men should be against it at all. And I think that the Asian Men who are against such a thing and who are so are just stressing themselves out over something that they should not mind at all. Plus, you could look at the bright side and think of it this way, with so many men of other races starting so many relationships with Asian Women, it causes women of other races to think of Asian Men as possible future partners for themselves also, as likewise, many men of their own race have found Asian Women to be compatible partners with them as well. And Asian Women-Men of Other Races couples cause women of other races to start think of starting future relationships with Asian Men and cause them to realize that an Asian partner might make a compatible future mate for them as well. In fact, many White Men even know that this effect occurs, and so they try to stop other races of men from starting relationships with Asian Women so that they can prevent Asian Men from starting relationships with other races of women. So, by being against Asian Women and Men of Other Races couples, you are just taking away other people’s freedom of choice which you should respect, being racist yourself, being a hypocrite and practicing, especially if you are for Asian Men starting relationships with Women of Other Races, playing into other people’s hands who are completely racist against you without you even realizing it, and just being self-destructive. And also, if Asian Men prefer other races of Women besides White Women, then they should feel free to start relationships with other races of Women as well, such as Black Women, Latina Women, Native American Women, or non-East Asian Asian Women. Many East Asian Men tell stories on the Internet that say that it is easier to start a relationship with a Black Women or a Latina Women than it is to start a relationship with a White Women, and deep down underneath it all, we are all equal, and are all attractive blessed races with something good to offer to the others, and to benefit others, with none being without worth or value, and it is a person’s own choice after all, and that right should be respected. Although if an Asian Male prefers only White Females, and of course, if a White Female prefers only Asian Males, then it is their choice, and they both should have the freedom to choose to do whatever they want and they should both have their choices be respected without other people interfering in it. As an Asian-American Male myself, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the fact that more Asian Males are increasingly starting relationships with White Females. The number of Asian Male-White Female couples that people see on the street are increasing as time goes by as Asian Males increasingly develop the self-confidence, character traits, charisma, and other qualities in men that women value to be a steady provider and someone skilled enough with people to keep a long-term relationship going, to start relationships with White Females. And also the numbers of Asian Male-White Female couples will gradually increase as White Females find out that yes, many Asian men are interested in them and White Females in turn become unafraid to take the initiative and show their interest in Asian Men and/or to return the interest shown by Asian Men in them.

The number of Asian Males starting relationships with White Females and females of other races will only increase as more and more Asian Males develop the bravery and courage to overcome their previous fears and get the guts to just go for it and ask women of other races out on dates whether they succeed or fail at first. And it will also increase as enough Asian Males develop enough adaptability skills to figure out the reason why they failed if they did not succeed at first in getting a date with a women of another race and so then change themselves so that they grow as people and improve themselves so that they take a different approach so that they succeed the next time, and as they develop enough persistency to keep on trying even if they do not initially succeed at first.

As more and more Asian Males ask White Women and women of other races out on dates, more and more Asian Men will succeed in dating them and more and more Asian Men and White Women and women of other races will see this, and the numbers of couples will build up critical mass and more and more Asian Males and Women of Other Races will do the same thing and it will have a rolling snowball effect. More and more Asian Males will succeed in starting relationships with women of other races, and the numbers of Asian Male-Females of Other Races couples will only increase as time goes by. As the ancient Chinese used to say, sometimes you just have to “jump into the open ocean”. And as the old Western sayings go, “No guts, no glory”, and “Fortune favors the brave.”

I do think however, that Asian Men should not mind if White Men or other races of men increasingly start relationships with Asian Women, even if there are an extremely large number of such relationships and women of other races don’t reciprocate as readily at first. You can still start relationships with other races of women, you just have to overcome greater odds in order to do so. But let us always keep peace with one another no matter what happens. I believe that this should be true even if this causes many Asian Women to reject Asian Men and to look down on them and to put them down as unworthy of them also. That will never be true for Asian Men and Asian Women and for Asian Men and any other race of women also, or for any woman individually. I do not think that if this happens and Asian Women start making fun of Asian Men, that Asian Men should lower themselves to respond to and fight back against Asian Women who stoop down to that level to do such a thing, because all it means is that if there are no more Asian Women who will start relationships with Asian Men, that Asian Men will have to start relationships with women of other races instead of Asian Women. It may be harder to do such a thing, and Asian Men may have to adjust themselves as people and grow and improve themselves as people in order to do such a thing and you may have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but, as the increasing number of Asian Man-Women of other Races couples prove, it is possible.

I also do not think that Asian Men should mind White Men and men of other races starting relationships with Asian Women also because for Asian Men who believe in interracial relationships with Asian Men and Women of Other Races, it would be hypocritical for them to be against Asian Female-Men of Other Races relationships. It would be a double-standard and would be forbidding others to do what Asian Men want themselves, you’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated in life, and so because it is wrong for Asian Men who are for Asian Man-Women of Other Races relationships to be against Asian Woman-Men of Other Races couples, I do not think that Asian Men should be against it at all. And I think that the Asian Men who are against such a thing and who are so are just stressing themselves out over something that they should not mind at all.

Plus, you could look at the bright side and think of it this way, with so many men of other races starting so many relationships with Asian Women, it causes women of other races to think of Asian Men as possible future partners for themselves also, as likewise, many men of their own race have found Asian Women to be compatible partners with them as well. And Asian Women-Men of Other Races couples cause women of other races to start think of starting future relationships with Asian Men and cause them to realize that an Asian partner might make a compatible future mate for them as well. In fact, many White Men even know that this effect occurs, and so they try to stop other races of men from starting relationships with Asian Women so that they can prevent Asian Men from starting relationships with other races of women. So, by being against Asian Women and Men of Other Races couples, you are just taking away other people’s freedom of choice which you should respect, being racist yourself, being a hypocrite and practicing, especially if you are for Asian Men starting relationships with Women of Other Races, playing into other people’s hands who are completely racist against you without you even realizing it, and just being self-destructive.

And also, if Asian Men prefer other races of Women besides White Women, then they should feel free to start relationships with other races of Women as well, such as Black Women, Latina Women, Native American Women, or non-East Asian Asian Women. Many East Asian Men tell stories on the Internet that say that it is easier to start a relationship with a Black Women or a Latina Women than it is to start a relationship with a White Women, and deep down underneath it all, we are all equal, and are all attractive blessed races with something good to offer to the others, and to benefit others, with none being without worth or value, and it is a person’s own choice after all, and that right should be respected.

Although if an Asian Male prefers only White Females, and of course, if a White Female prefers only Asian Males, then it is their choice, and they both should have the freedom to choose to do whatever they want and they should both have their choices be respected without other people interfering in it.

]]> By: Philippine women http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-133377 Philippine women Sun, 25 Oct 2009 08:53:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-133377 Interracial dating makes no boundaries when it to comes to love and search for a lifetime partner. Yes, it could be a different story from one another but still it's the heart that talks for two different individuals. Interracial dating makes no boundaries when it to comes to love and search for a lifetime partner. Yes, it could be a different story from one another but still it’s the heart that talks for two different individuals.

]]> By: Philippine women http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-127190 Philippine women Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:53:42 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-127190 Interracial dating makes no boundaries when it to comes to love and search for a lifetime partner. Yes, it could be a different story from one another but still it's the heart that talks for two different individuals. Interracial dating makes no boundaries when it to comes to love and search for a lifetime partner. Yes, it could be a different story from one another but still it's the heart that talks for two different individuals.

]]> By: Chook http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-31574 Chook Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:49:35 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-31574 Kenny, I think that you are correct that the fabric of Asian America is deeply damaged and often confused. I do not have any issue with bi-racial unions of any kind as long as it's based on genuine love for another human being. My issue is that the whole subject of white male/Asian female unions has become so much of a non-issue that any real issues that arise from cross ethnic unions are overlooked. For instance, when Asian women express their love of the "more masculine" caucasian, they are perfectly entitled to their opinion. What happens, one wonders, when such women marry their "more masculine" caucasian husbands and give birth to "not so masculine" half Asian boys? How can they raise psychologically healthy, confident sons who are able to prosper and succeed in a culture that is so deeply demeaning towards them,when their underlying attitude to Asian men seems to be so negative? Again, I have no problem with cross racial unions, but is the Asian community so empowered and respected in this society that we can aproach this subject with such a flighty attitude? I don't think we are. East Asians (male and female) are written about, spoken about and portrayed in this (western) culture in very demeaning and hostile ways. Much of what we see, read and hear about our community is negative and my feeling is that if you (as an Asian) have nothing good to say about your community or the people in it then don't say anything. I'm not saying that we should put up with abuse or injustice from our own, but change doesn't come from without. Running away to white culture doesn't solve the issues within ourselves or our communities, it passes them along to our offspring. So, date, marry and love outside your race but don't do it because you can find nothing good about your own culture and just wish you could be something else. Kenny, I think that you are correct that the fabric of Asian America is deeply damaged and often confused. I do not have any issue with bi-racial unions of any kind as long as it’s based on genuine love for another human being. My issue is that the whole subject of white male/Asian female unions has become so much of a non-issue that any real issues that arise from cross ethnic unions are overlooked. For instance, when Asian women express their love of the “more masculine” caucasian, they are perfectly entitled to their opinion. What happens, one wonders, when such women marry their “more masculine” caucasian husbands and give birth to “not so masculine” half Asian boys? How can they raise psychologically healthy, confident sons who are able to prosper and succeed in a culture that is so deeply demeaning towards them,when their underlying attitude to Asian men seems to be so negative? Again, I have no problem with cross racial unions, but is the Asian community so empowered and respected in this society that we can aproach this subject with such a flighty attitude? I don’t think we are. East Asians (male and female) are written about, spoken about and portrayed in this (western) culture in very demeaning and hostile ways. Much of what we see, read and hear about our community is negative and my feeling is that if you (as an Asian) have nothing good to say about your community or the people in it then don’t say anything. I’m not saying that we should put up with abuse or injustice from our own, but change doesn’t come from without. Running away to white culture doesn’t solve the issues within ourselves or our communities, it passes them along to our offspring. So, date, marry and love outside your race but don’t do it because you can find nothing good about your own culture and just wish you could be something else.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-136114 Anonymous Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:49:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-136114 Kenny, I think that you are correct that the fabric of Asian America is deeply damaged and often confused. I do not have any issue with bi-racial unions of any kind as long as it's based on genuine love for another human being. My issue is that the whole subject of white male/Asian female unions has become so much of a non-issue that any real issues that arise from cross ethnic unions are overlooked. For instance, when Asian women express their love of the "more masculine" caucasian, they are perfectly entitled to their opinion. What happens, one wonders, when such women marry their "more masculine" caucasian husbands and give birth to "not so masculine" half Asian boys? How can they raise psychologically healthy, confident sons who are able to prosper and succeed in a culture that is so deeply demeaning towards them,when their underlying attitude to Asian men seems to be so negative? Again, I have no problem with cross racial unions, but is the Asian community so empowered and respected in this society that we can aproach this subject with such a flighty attitude? I don't think we are. East Asians (male and female) are written about, spoken about and portrayed in this (western) culture in very demeaning and hostile ways. Much of what we see, read and hear about our community is negative and my feeling is that if you (as an Asian) have nothing good to say about your community or the people in it then don't say anything. I'm not saying that we should put up with abuse or injustice from our own, but change doesn't come from without. Running away to white culture doesn't solve the issues within ourselves or our communities, it passes them along to our offspring. So, date, marry and love outside your race but don't do it because you can find nothing good about your own culture and just wish you could be something else. Kenny, I think that you are correct that the fabric of Asian America is deeply damaged and often confused. I do not have any issue with bi-racial unions of any kind as long as it’s based on genuine love for another human being. My issue is that the whole subject of white male/Asian female unions has become so much of a non-issue that any real issues that arise from cross ethnic unions are overlooked. For instance, when Asian women express their love of the “more masculine” caucasian, they are perfectly entitled to their opinion. What happens, one wonders, when such women marry their “more masculine” caucasian husbands and give birth to “not so masculine” half Asian boys? How can they raise psychologically healthy, confident sons who are able to prosper and succeed in a culture that is so deeply demeaning towards them,when their underlying attitude to Asian men seems to be so negative? Again, I have no problem with cross racial unions, but is the Asian community so empowered and respected in this society that we can aproach this subject with such a flighty attitude? I don’t think we are. East Asians (male and female) are written about, spoken about and portrayed in this (western) culture in very demeaning and hostile ways. Much of what we see, read and hear about our community is negative and my feeling is that if you (as an Asian) have nothing good to say about your community or the people in it then don’t say anything. I’m not saying that we should put up with abuse or injustice from our own, but change doesn’t come from without. Running away to white culture doesn’t solve the issues within ourselves or our communities, it passes them along to our offspring. So, date, marry and love outside your race but don’t do it because you can find nothing good about your own culture and just wish you could be something else.

]]> By: Kenny http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-31571 Kenny Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:41:26 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-31571 I believe the reason why this subject needs to be addressed is because it's destroying the fabric of Asian America in the first place, Chook. The best way to rot a community is from the inside and that's exactly what's happening. We won't make any progress in any other respect until Asian men and women can come together. At this rate, I don't see that happening at all. I believe the reason why this subject needs to be addressed is because it’s destroying the fabric of Asian America in the first place, Chook. The best way to rot a community is from the inside and that’s exactly what’s happening. We won’t make any progress in any other respect until Asian men and women can come together.

At this rate, I don’t see that happening at all.

]]> By: Kenny http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-136113 Kenny Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:41:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-136113 I believe the reason why this subject needs to be addressed is because it's destroying the fabric of Asian America in the first place, Chook. The best way to rot a community is from the inside and that's exactly what's happening. We won't make any progress in any other respect until Asian men and women can come together. At this rate, I don't see that happening at all. I believe the reason why this subject needs to be addressed is because it’s destroying the fabric of Asian America in the first place, Chook. The best way to rot a community is from the inside and that’s exactly what’s happening. We won’t make any progress in any other respect until Asian men and women can come together.

At this rate, I don’t see that happening at all.

]]> By: Chook http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/comment-page-1/#comment-31171 Chook Mon, 03 Sep 2007 07:35:53 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/2007/08/28/bi-racial-couples-a-first-person-account/#comment-31171 I found this article quite refreshing in it's approach to this subject, mainly because it took a humanistic approach instead of the usual Asian Man Bashing Approach. All too often this subject is presented as an issue facing Asian Americans but I am left to wonder what exactly these "issues" are. Laws against inter-racial relations have often been at the heart of discrimination against minorities, perhaps even the driving force of institutionalised racism. So when I read or watch certain Asian women offering opinions about how they'd never date Asians because......(fill in the blank) and would only date white men, then I can't help but feel that they are disconnected from the struggles that brought they and their community to the point where it's legal to say these things. My issue is not that they have this preference (I have been happily married to a Caucasian women for many years) but that they are so blase and flighty about it. What in my mind should be a subject for discussion with close, trusted friends suddenly becomes an "issue" of the entire community where everybody now knows and are often embarrassed to hear about sexual preferences of someone they don't know. My point is that there was a time -in my lifetime 30 -40 years ago - where if I were to walk down the street with my white wife I could have been thrown in jail, attacked, beaten and possibly murdered. If I were black I could have been lynched just for looking at a white woman. Within the last 2 years a young Mexican American boy in Texas was beaten and raped with a broomstick for flirting with a white girl. The "issue" is and always has been serious to the point that individuals have had to fight and die for the right to fall in love with whomsoever they choose. My wife and I recently had dinner with an old school friend of hers and his Asian American wife during which we were informed by her how she only dated an was attracted to white men. Both my wife and I were surprised at how candid she was about it. Yet we both felt that it was a little uncouth to discuss this subject with people you are not really close to. Please feel free to have your preferences but don't turn it into an "issue" of the community. It isn't. In many ways it's irresponsible. Throughout SE Asia there are thousands of young girls (and boys) some as young as 6 or 7 who are put into the sex industry to help support their extremely poor families. The demand amongst European and North American pedophiles for this young Asian flesh is what drives the supply of these children. So, the next time you hear an Asian girl whose comfortable and possibly priveleged life allows her to be uncouth in this matter, just remeber that there may be a pedophile in your town who's planning a trip to Thailand to have sex with a 6 year old prostitute who will read what you have to say and think "maybe the Asian children I'm raping enjoy it since Asian women prefer white men". If I have been harsh I don't apologize. We have a responsibility as free and priveleged citizens to help others of our race to rise above poverty, oppression and discrimination. If all we can talk about is "I only date white men because......" then we need to work on our collective conscience and show ourselves to be disconnected from the realities of Asian life. I found this article quite refreshing in it’s approach to this subject, mainly because it took a humanistic approach instead of the usual Asian Man Bashing Approach. All too often this subject is presented as an issue facing Asian Americans but I am left to wonder what exactly these “issues” are. Laws against inter-racial relations have often been at the heart of discrimination against minorities, perhaps even the driving force of institutionalised racism. So when I read or watch certain Asian women offering opinions about how they’d never date Asians because……(fill in the blank) and would only date white men, then I can’t help but feel that they are disconnected from the struggles that brought they and their community to the point where it’s legal to say these things. My issue is not that they have this preference (I have been happily married to a Caucasian women for many years) but that they are so blase and flighty about it. What in my mind should be a subject for discussion with close, trusted friends suddenly becomes an “issue” of the entire community where everybody now knows and are often embarrassed to hear about sexual preferences of someone they don’t know. My point is that there was a time -in my lifetime 30 -40 years ago – where if I were to walk down the street with my white wife I could have been thrown in jail, attacked, beaten and possibly murdered. If I were black I could have been lynched just for looking at a white woman. Within the last 2 years a young Mexican American boy in Texas was beaten and raped with a broomstick for flirting with a white girl. The “issue” is and always has been serious to the point that individuals have had to fight and die for the right to fall in love with whomsoever they choose. My wife and I recently had dinner with an old school friend of hers and his Asian American wife during which we were informed by her how she only dated an was attracted to white men. Both my wife and I were surprised at how candid she was about it. Yet we both felt that it was a little uncouth to discuss this subject with people you are not really close to. Please feel free to have your preferences but don’t turn it into an “issue” of the community. It isn’t. In many ways it’s irresponsible. Throughout SE Asia there are thousands of young girls (and boys) some as young as 6 or 7 who are put into the sex industry to help support their extremely poor families. The demand amongst European and North American pedophiles for this young Asian flesh is what drives the supply of these children. So, the next time you hear an Asian girl whose comfortable and possibly priveleged life allows her to be uncouth in this matter, just remeber that there may be a pedophile in your town who’s planning a trip to Thailand to have sex with a 6 year old prostitute who will read what you have to say and think “maybe the Asian children I’m raping enjoy it since Asian women prefer white men”. If I have been harsh I don’t apologize. We have a responsibility as free and priveleged citizens to help others of our race to rise above poverty, oppression and discrimination. If all we can talk about is “I only date white men because……” then we need to work on our collective conscience and show ourselves to be disconnected from the realities of Asian life.

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