Let’s talk about sex

The other day, I made a post on my personal blog that garnered a lot of (private) comments. I got a bunch of comments via IM and email, but just a few public comments.

Here’s an excerpt… I was having a conversation with a good friend of my mother’s in Chinglish when she asked me the following:

Mom’s friend: “DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF SEX?” (in English)

“WHAT?!” I asked in Chinese, really shocked by the mention of the subject. (I do NOT talk to my Mom about such things, so I am not going to go talking to her close friend about stuff like this. As far as my Mom likes to believe, I don’t even know what sex is and I’m not planning on changing that perception for a while!)

Mom’s friend: “I said, ‘Do you have a lot of sex?’” (she repeated in English)

Joz: …

I sat there dumbfounded in silence, which is pretty damn unusual for me. What the hell is she bringing this up for?! What the hell am I going to say?! How do I change the topic!?!?! Arrrrgh! So embarrassing!

Since I didn’t answer for a bit (maybe like 10 seconds, which is an eternity, especially for a blabbermouth like me), she asked the question again:

Mom’s friend: “Did you hear what I asked?” (in Chinese)
Mom’s friend: “Do you have a lot of PRESSURE on you?” (in English.)

Joz: “Pressure?” (in English)

Mom’s friend: “Yes, pressure. STRESS. Do you have a lot of STRESS?” (in English)

OMG! She was asking me about STRESS, not SEX! Thank god!

Joz: “Pressure? Oh yeah, I have lots of that. You know that.”

Mom’s friend: “You shouldn’t worry so much, try to relax and not to take on so much pressure. It’s not good for your body.” (in Chinese)

Joz: “Yeah, I know.” (Joz changes the subject quickly)

Ok, embarrassing story aside, I gotta ask you what you think of the scenario. Did I totally overreact by thinking that my Mom’s friend was asking me about sex? Do you talk to your parents about sex? What about other family members? Who do/don’t you talk about sex with? Why is that?!

For me, the thought about talking about sex with my Mom or my uncles/aunties is absolutely mortifying. Once my Mom made some comment about conceiving my brother and my head just about exploded.

Is this an Asian/Asian American thing? Because in my experience, a lot of my non-Asian friends don’t have trouble talking about sex to their parents.

Oh and for me, the taboo subject matter is not just about ME having sex… it’s about sex in general. Like other people having sex is not a topic I want to discuss with my Mom. I actually want to pretend like the word/subject doesn’t exist when it comes to my Mom. And my Mom and I talk about pretty much everything. Well, except sex.

Now your turn… dish!

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Author: jozjozjoz

jozjozjoz is a taiwanese-american gal who lives and blogs underneath the hollywood sign and who doesn’t clean her fishtank unless the fish starts to do the backstroke. she is also able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but cannot stop from bumping into door handles, cabinet doors, and anything else that protrudes or has a sharp edge. she does not run with scissors for this same reason. she can pet the fur off a dog but don’t ask her to go anywhere near a horse. or a moth. or a roach. her dealings with L.A.’s finest (aka the parking violations department) are legend, as are her giant sneezes. Other than the two too many joz’s, jozjozjoz is a perfectly normal, relatively sane individual who defies the odds, reaches for the stars, and carries moonbeams home in a jar. She’d rather be a fish… but not in her own dirty fishtank. http://www.jozjozjoz.com