On the other hand, I'm sick of all these stupidities people, including Asian men, say about Asian men. The ironic thing is that most of these things are said by people who are neither attractive nor intellectually respectable.

Interestingly, over the last few years I have optimistically seen that Americans are being more positive about the sexual image of the Asian man. I hope this video doesn't deteriorate the progress I have encountered so far. I can certainly say, however, that there are ridiculous stereotypes in this video. I grew up in Latin America and I can easily say that I was never objectified as an asexual Asian man, but interestingly, the stereotype worked oppositely in that people found me sexually “exotic” and masculine, associated me with martial arts and will oriental aphrodisiacs. Obviously this is all garbage too, but since I was one of the very few Asians in the city, and I was precociously sexual, everyone thought that all Asian men were as horny as me. This is the complete opposite of what I hear in the video, which is a pathetic desexualized image of the Asian man. Given this, I would really need to inquire more about where did the asexual image of the Asian man arise in Anglosaxon culture.

Although I appreciate it as a thought provoking effort, I think it's too simplistic to be able to capture the actual situation of gay Asian American men. I am an equal opportunity dater and I feel the necessity to get involved in the politization of my sexual life. I embrace potato-chocolate-bean-curry queens and sticky rice as long as they see a human before a skin color.

And of course, we know that mixed-race Asians aren’t really Asian, so you haven’t really dated an Asian. (BTW, it’s SARCASM. SARCASM, people! Sad that I actually have to point this out. Jesus.)

Cant dress CHECK. Not Skinny CHECK. Not fem CHECK. Only into WHITE guys ??

I was going through old posts and comments and somehow, I missed this comment where I get called out. And even though this comment is two months late and it reeks of flamebait, I’ll respond anyway, since it gives a good idea of my mindset posting this blog.

My first boyfriend is half-Vietnamese, half-white who associated with the Asian community. My second boyfriend is half-Black, half-Filipino. My last boyfriend is white although he swears he’s half Mexican. This doesn’t count the guys I’ve dated or *cough* hooked up with which have gone all over the map.

So do I, as a gay Asian male, fall into the same stereotype of Asians only for white guys? Yes, in that I haven’t exclusively dated Asians and Asian Americans? Or no, in that the guys I have dated don’t fit in the typical “rice queen” mold? Chances are, people will make snap judgments about me anyway, so by all means; judge away.

bro there is truth to that….if u read most of the gay personals including asian and non-asian personal the vast majority of these gaymen want a “str8″ acting, masculine type of guy with means someone that does not speak, has bodylanguage or mannerisms of an effeminate gay man… which is ironic since the vast majority of gay men has to some degree and some more of gay effeminate speak, mannerisms, thought process and in my opinion is ok it’s fine it’s who you are…. it’s like telling a cat to act like a dog a cat just cant’ just be a pussy (no pun intented) LOL… take for instance the fellow with the pierced eyebrow he obviously fits those charateristics and thats ok its fine but he does not like those features in a person… it’s kinda of like homo self hatred… asian men that only date non-asian men i feel there is there self hatred too a sense of low self esteem in this country… i spend a year in japan and believe me the vast majority of them prefer other japanese oo other asian men,,,, it makes sense the dominate prevalent race would be the standard of beauty in that country.

but you have to look at the overall big picture in america…. how many sexy leading asian male movie stars do u see? how many asian men news anchormen do we see?? i really think our asian str8 brother and gaybrothers need to work together on this.

What surprises me is the conscious willingness that underwrites this form of prejudice in the clip. I actually give the fellow credit for being so candid — it can’t be easy to open oneself up to the criticism that’s undoubtedly imminent. But for what it’s worth (and I can only speak for myself), I have been most dismayed by the butched-out gay Asian men who seem to look on me as if I’m not carrying my feather-weight for the cause. That stings most deeply.

I happen not to be interested in changing my body, my style, nor my affect in order to turn a hot man’s eye. I spent the better part of my 20s mistakenly thinking that I could be happy becoming the right object so I could maximize my gay experience. So that leaves someone like me with only the hope that we can talk about how and what it means to acknowledge our ignorance, in order ultimately to second-guess that ignorance. Even if it means never taking a skinny fem Asian man home. I admire the poster above who is trying to “work on and attend to” his racism, only because no one of us is free from the accusation.

When I was dating women, race was never really an issue. Throughout college, the idea that my ethnicity (Filipino) would be a factor in whether or not a girl would go out with me never factored. And I dated everything under the sun–Asian, white, Latino, black, and mixes (loved the mixes).

Coming out has made dating immeasurably more complicated, something it didn’t take too long to figure out when, at bars, the vast majority of men who would approach me were the significantly older, seemingly more predatory white guys with pick up lines like, “Hey, my name’s _____. I’m a producer.” Clearly expecting a response like “Ah meestah, I rove you rong time.”

Dating within the gay community has been far more limited. A Latino. An Asian. Significantly more white. Not that I don’t find non-white gay men unattractive, unfortunately the Asians and Latins and African-Americans that I do find hot generally fall into the “not really into Asians” paradigm. At one point, after talking to a beautiful Chinese guy at the Abbey for about thirty minutes, thinking we were making a bit of a love connection, I was taken aback when out the of the blue he asked “You don’t date Asians either, do you?”

Nowadays, I prefer straight bars over gay ones. It’s nicer getting hit on by attractive women at straight bars than fighting invisibility by questionably attractive men at gay ones.