I don’t think it would be an racial issue but more along the lines of cultural issues. It’s not about simply finding anyone…anyone can do that. My point is simple and very straight forward; this issue does indeed affect many Asian men and their confidence about their own sexuality and attractiveness when they see women, who should technically find them attractive, marrying and dating out at such a huge volume.

To say that there are *no* side effects and everything is perfectly fine is beyond wrong and reckless.

However, I know some really cool and smart but shy Asian guys who “fled” back to Asia, namely Korea and Taiwan, because they just didn’t feel like being treated as second class. No one enjoys that situation.

These days, more and more Asian men are starting to harbor this mentality that Asian women don’t have their backs. This is bound to antagonize Asian women. Asian women these days automatically assume that since they’re Asian, they automatically assume Asian men know they have their backs. In this day and age of Asian female interracial dating rates, it’s a very very very dangerous assumption to make. The problem is that everyone is approaching this issue at face value, not the repercussions 15 steps down the road. You can’t see beyond your own nose.

I’m not telling anyone what to do, I’m really not. What I am saying is that it does have an effect. If you don’t care, say so but don’t make it sound like there are absolutely no concern.

Also, Bertie, while it’s true that when a community seals itself off is harmful, there is also wide acceptance of the idea that the more races become intermingled, racial animosity will increase.

Anyway, just one more note to add. Growing up in the South, the Asian-American men dated non-Asian-Americans just as frequently as the women. The depressing dynamic between Asian-American females and Asian-American males over interracial dating that so often rears its head on this blog just didn’t exist where I grew up. If you were an Asian-American guy in a school where there were five other Asian people, you just pick who’s hot, not who’s of the same race. Sometimes I feel that living in an environment where people can hide in the safety of their ethnic “communities” (I use that term loosely) may actually be crippling. (Okay, probably not a popular opinions, but go ahead… flame away.)

I would strongly suggest that Asian men who cannot get Asian brides in this country look abroad to the Philippines and Thailand where women outnumber men…unless of course Asian American men think it is below their dignity to marry Asian women from Asia.

I’ll give up a good example.

Long story short, with such a huge presence of Asian women with white men, it helps foster an environment where Asian men question their own sexual attractiveness in North American society which leads to insecurity and confidence issues. While non-Asian women aren’t completely shut off from Asian men but are less privy to do so, when their pool of potential women starts to dwindle, anger and resentment towards our own community members will increase.

See, the problem is that interracial dating among Asian Americans isn’t *bad* but the rate at which it is happening *is* because it’s starting to have a lingering effect. Your problem and others that constantly chant the mantra of being colorblind and ignorant of racial issues is that it’s not simply black and white.

There are gray zones. Ripples in the pond, if you will.

I’ll share a personal story:

A friend of mine, who’s married to an Asian guy, never really gave the issue much thought on how it affects the psyche of the Asian men. They’re both in their late 20s. She stated that there are *some* Asian men who are blowing the situation out of proportion but, one day, she asked her husband what he thought on the matter. She was shocked when he confirmed that he too had battles with depression and anxiety because of this issue.

He said that the huge amount of Asian women with white men, in combination with the large prevalence of Asian women who belong to the “Asian man hate club,” he questioned his own self worth constantly.

It wasn’t until he discovered that he was attractive when white women found him to be a very good looking guy. How ironic, huh? Asian women took away his dignity and confidence and white women gave it back.

I’m willing to bet that there will always be grumbling about this issue and Asian women refuse to question this issue because it prevents them from acting on their own fetish for white men. It reminds me of those rowing teams from college, if one side is just a tad slower, the boat starts moving in a circle. That’s how I view Asian America, Asian women and men simply aren’t on the same page.

Hell, I know non-Asian women that completly understand why Asian men would be heartbroken. I just think that Asian women *and* men are apathetic to their own. Either that or the whole community can’t foresee problems.

In any event, when I hear about these stories, and I read posts such as the “Why Asian Girls Go For White Guys” posts, I’m mystified. I reacted the same way to hearing about the bizarre in-fighting within the gay community in San Francisco. Anyway, I’ll saying it once and I’ll say it again. The melting pot approach is good. The “salad bowl” approach… questionable.

Honestly I’ve never understood those who think this is a “bad” thing, or have ever really heard any sort of rational opinion declaring so.

It’s similar to gay marriage, the only opposers are generally (always) bigoted, close minded individuals who are unable to get past their prejudices and feel the need to stick their noses in where they don’t belong..