Comments on: Creating Your Own Surrogate Family

By: Dealing with Asian Parents When You’re Gay | Family | 8Asians.com

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 00:31:07 +0000

[...] During a recent 8Asians writers dinner, Ernie and I happened to be discussing the predicament of coming out to Asian parents and he asked me if they ever stop bugging you to get married. I told him yes, the only time they actually stop, is when you have a kid of your own. Not an adopted child, a true bona fide genetic offspring of your very own. I always knew I wanted to be a parent, and I learned about surrogacy early in my twenties, but it wasn’t until my late thirties that I had the financial means and the right partner to go about executing my dream of becoming a parent. [...]

By: Eugene

Eugene — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:51:05 +0000

So you wanted to choose a Caucasian then? As opposed to Chinese?

I’m very interested to learn that children was the answer. I wonder why that is the case. It seems to be often the case. As in the Wedding Banquet.

Would love talk to you more offline. You can get at my e-mail or ask Ernie. We’ve exchanged some e-mails before.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:51:00 +0000

So you wanted to choose a Caucasian then? As opposed to Chinese?

I’m very interested to learn that children was the answer. I wonder why that is the case. It seems to be often the case. As in the Wedding Banquet.

Would love talk to you more offline. You can get at my e-mail or ask Ernie. We’ve exchanged some e-mails before.

By: Tim

Tim — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:58:08 +0000

@Eugene: When I turned 30 my parents sat me down in a room and asked me if I was ever going to get married, that’s when I had to “officially” come out to them. But really it wasn’t until I made the decision to have a child that they really came around. I think having a child took some of the stigma out of it. Our daughter was born when I was almost 38 years old. And of course my parents obviously came around enough to be willing to live with us.

Yes, I provided the genetic material, but that was more a case of my partner already having biological children from a previous marriage. The egg was provided by an anonymous egg donor that we chose together. There are firms that specialize in egg donors, and have “catalogs” you can choose from based on ethnicity, height, school scores, etc. What’s interesting about this is there are few Asian egg donors, and the few that there are, charge a steep premium. The actual process in choosing the donor is really hard, much harder than we expected. In the end we chose an egg donor based on her interview questions, and ethnic background.

By: Tim

Tim — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:58:00 +0000

By: Eugene Shih

Eugene Shih — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:25:30 +0000

Sounds like a wonderful Wedding Banquet-like story? Thanks for sharing. I have more questions though. Like, how long did it take for your parents to come around? And clearly you provided the sperm. How did you find the egg?

By: Eugene Shih

Eugene Shih — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:25:00 +0000

By: 8Asians.com » A Lack of Asian Surrogates

8Asians.com » A Lack of Asian Surrogates — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:29:49 +0000

[...] issue came to light since John Griffin posted a comment on my article about creating a surrogate family. His comment was essentially an advertisement looking for an Asian woman willing to act as a [...]