Yeah, it is definantly true about how everyone must deal with people in this imperfect world. Also, sometimes, people do cause their own problems, but I’ll leave it at that and hopefully readers might not misunderstand that it’s just a general statement, not necessarily refering to this particular story or other similar actions.

Frankly speaking, looking back (I grew up in a small US Midwestern city, with probably less than 5% “visible” minorities)I responded quite mild mainly because I saw such actions with little meaning. It might work differently for others but really balance it or negate it with knowledge. I knew during school days for sure that there are much worst things in life to handle, plus I don’t have to be a friend to everyone.

I interacted with people and knew just enough information regarding my heritage where half if not more of these steroetypes or racial/ethnic humor made no sense to me at all. Sometimes, I feel like I have to “lower” my intellect to “get it”. I have a lot of interesting stories regarding this but everyone probably has their own unique methods to deal with these type of situations.

My experience with both daughters #1 and #2 —now in middle school is that both are a bundle of insecurities It goes with the turf. Not because both are adopted, and relearning the culture from whence they came.

After much consideration, I have given #1 —in 8th grade permission to tell harassing white ‘nativist’ girls — critical of her speaking in Mandarin—permission to basically blow them off with an: “F-U” in Mandarin—-not English. But I’m convinced that if #1’s peers weren’t critical of her for the language thing, it would be something else. And as it turns out—#1 is no angel herself—-she gives as good as she gets… Mostly, I try to teach he Golden Rule. but its an imperfect world out there in middle school….

BTW, there’s probably millions of articles and posts regarding inter-racial–inter-ethnic Adoptees, but I got to know a few of them in person and read many stories in their blogs. I think it’s just the ones I know, but from a generalized impression, they do “appeared” to be bothered by these type of actions. Even the thick skin ones carried some of their experiences on from childhood. I mean, most of us know that what may seem very silly or small to adult eyes may seem like the end of the world for kids, but this is subjective and quite personal to each individual.

I could go on, but I guess my personal response would be “whatever”.

Please don’t take my word for it. I invite you to do your own research on the issue, you could start with a simple Google search. If you do intend to raise your Asian children in the west I would suggest that you become acquainted with the realities of the East Asian experience in the western world.

That aside, you could even conduct your own informal survey on whatever Asian web forums or blogs you visit. My guess is that the majority of Asians that post on this and any other Asian blog and who were raised in the U.S have experienced race motivated harassment and possibly violence during their school years. It’s just a fact of the the Asian-American experience. Take it or leave it.

Asians are taught at a young age to obey and be obedient, rather than question and defend themselves. It’s almost like part of the culture, which is probably why there are stereotypes that Asians are nerdy/quite/not outgoing etc because there’s truth to it.

Then take into account the many families who come from Asia whose English isn’t very proficient or the ones who basically speak in broken English, and the ones who are would rather focus on providing for their family rather than voicing their disapprovals of something as small as being made fun of. Then also taken in account that Asian communities aren’t exactly together, most Asian groups are divided by their nationalities/ethnicities most likely because of their common languages/culture.

It’s quite different than White/Black/Hispanics who at least can communicate in the same language and communicating in the same language, always helps right?

My experience at the teen-girl level (my daughters) is just the ‘mean-girl’ syndrome, and lets refresh were we came into this thread:

“Oh my God.”
“I hate her. She is such a slut”
“Yeah, and the only ones at school who like her are sluts.”

Spoken like a true Asian? Of course not! —spoken like a teen age girl in the US!

I will grant, there are issues related to race and Asians (particularly Chinese) in America, just don’t think this is at all significant.