Reason 1. US adoption laws are ever-changing and there are cases where legally adopted children are required to be returned to the birth parents, sometimes years after the fact. Emotionally we couldn’t handle this possibility.

Reason 2. Since we chose to adopt internationally we knew that we would need to incorporate the culture and language from whatever country our child was from. Since we respected China’s culture we decided China would be the country.

Reason 3. Finally there was a need. Thousands of children are in orphanages in China, for a wide variety of reasons. Some of it due to cultural preference for boys and the effects of the one-child policy, other reasons include lack of a social safety net in China, poverty, and pre-marital pregancies.

We’ve tried to incorporate Chinese culture into our lives with food, language and customs. Our daughter goes to a Chinese family for daycare three days a week so she is as fluent in Mandarin and English as any 3-year-old can be, I’m learning spoken and written Mandarin (it’s a slow process), and we actively ensure that she has opportunties to build friendships with other adoptees from China – since only they can truly have any idea of what each other is going through.

Is it ideal for a Lao Wai to be raising a Chinese-American daughter? We think she’s amazing so answer is biased but we know there’ll be challenges we can’t even imagine which is why we read this blog and others to read, hear and learn different viewpoints. All I know is that she’s amazing and we are trying our best to raise her so that she is a proud American and also recognizes and is proud of her Chinese heritage since that is part of who she is. She’s only three but she already recognizes Chinese faces – making sure to loudly announce to all in earshot – “He’s Chinese, She’s Chinese, I’m Chinese”. Yes, Yes, You are. Is that embarassing? Of course but then kids always emabarass their parents for some reason or another.

As to the wait it’s currently over 3 years for parents once they put in their extensive paperwork. The sad thing is there are still thousands of children in orphanages and foster care in China. The economic downturn is hitting China as well so we’ll see if this shorten’s the wait. Some of the reason for the change in wait times – it was only 6 months as little as 3 years ago – has been ascribed to China wanting to improve it’s image internationally. Supposedly no adoptions were finalized in China during the months before, during and immediately after the Olympics. The wait has changed since the Olympics so who really knows and China doesn’t ever comment on the wait.

Good luck and keep up the great work.

Reason 1. US adoption laws are ever-changing and there are cases where legally adopted children are required to be returned to the birth parents, sometimes years after the fact. Emotionally we couldn’t handle this possibility.

Reason 2. Since we chose to adopt internationally we knew that we would need to incorporate the culture and language from whatever country our child was from. Since we respected China’s culture we decided China would be the country.

Reason 3. Finally there was a need. Thousands of children are in orphanages in China, for a wide variety of reasons. Some of it due to cultural preference for boys and the effects of the one-child policy, other reasons include lack of a social safety net in China, poverty, and pre-marital pregancies.

We’ve tried to incorporate Chinese culture into our lives with food, language and customs. Our daughter goes to a Chinese family for daycare three days a week so she is as fluent in Mandarin and English as any 3-year-old can be, I’m learning spoken and written Mandarin (it’s a slow process), and we actively ensure that she has opportunties to build friendships with other adoptees from China – since only they can truly have any idea of what each other is going through.

Is it ideal for a Lao Wai to be raising a Chinese-American daughter? We think she’s amazing so answer is biased but we know there’ll be challenges we can’t even imagine which is why we read this blog and others to read, hear and learn different viewpoints. All I know is that she’s amazing and we are trying our best to raise her so that she is a proud American and also recognizes and is proud of her Chinese heritage since that is part of who she is. She’s only three but she already recognizes Chinese faces – making sure to loudly announce to all in earshot – “He’s Chinese, She’s Chinese, I’m Chinese”. Yes, Yes, You are. Is that embarassing? Of course but then kids always emabarass their parents for some reason or another.

As to the wait it’s currently over 3 years for parents once they put in their extensive paperwork. The sad thing is there are still thousands of children in orphanages and foster care in China. The economic downturn is hitting China as well so we’ll see if this shorten’s the wait. Some of the reason for the change in wait times – it was only 6 months as little as 3 years ago – has been ascribed to China wanting to improve it’s image internationally. Supposedly no adoptions were finalized in China during the months before, during and immediately after the Olympics. The wait has changed since the Olympics so who really knows and China doesn’t ever comment on the wait.

Good luck and keep up the great work.

I checked online with the census bureau and other references. While Asian females in the States do have a higher number of IR relationsips (these are married couples) hearly 3 to 1 versus Asian Males, why would it matter since many Asian males are able to find spouses or civil partners? The numbers may give off some misconceptions because our population is still quite a low percentage overall, so keep that in mind.

Most members of each demographic group tend to be legally married with their own. Personally, I don’t really think the negative stereotypes regarding Asian Males’ relationship qualities hold much ground with other non-Asian people. If Asian guys really want to have a non-Asian partner, there really isn’t much holding you back other than yourselves. Sometimes, it’s not really the Asian background that has issues but the individual’s character. Sometimes, vice versa-if that’s the case it’s often because of the family members who step in.

I checked online with the census bureau and other references. While Asian females in the States do have a higher number of IR relationsips (these are married couples) hearly 3 to 1 versus Asian Males, why would it matter since many Asian males are able to find spouses or civil partners? The numbers may give off some misconceptions because our population is still quite a low percentage overall, so keep that in mind.

Most members of each demographic group tend to be legally married with their own. Personally, I don’t really think the negative stereotypes regarding Asian Males’ relationship qualities hold much ground with other non-Asian people. If Asian guys really want to have a non-Asian partner, there really isn’t much holding you back other than yourselves. Sometimes, it’s not really the Asian background that has issues but the individual’s character. Sometimes, vice versa-if that’s the case it’s often because of the family members who step in.

Human psychology have found that most people usually prefer their love/relationships partners whom they can find themselves in ( exception is sexual interests ) and yes that could play on race/ethnicity/religion.

The dating disparity itself between asian women with white men is a different topic altogether.
Asian who have assimilated or adoptees raised by a white families could be a contributing factor..

However it should not be the reason binding on dating preferences or naturally discourage any asian females from dating asian males especially if that asian male from the same ethnic background. It would probably be more interesting for the female to learning more (if it was considered).

What makes the disparity so uncomfortable is the fact that white men have no problems with dating their non-english-speaking-foreign-cultured-asian-fetish-sized geisha hyper-sexualized exotic asian china doll.

Other plausible factors could racist social norms, media influence, racial stereotypes, hegemony, white patriarchy, cultural misconceptions on male masculinities etc.

Anyway moving on, sorry about over-elaborated on the IR.

Adoptees – China should be keeping more of the women since there’s imbalance of the gender ratio. Maybe they should send more males abroad

If society was a little more ‘ethnic friendly’ perhaps adoption may not cause such such a stigma for adoptees having to grow up in a white family in a white society with the media continuously bashing China almost 24/7. I have to talk to more adoptees about this because I have only read books and they did not seem very happy.

The China adoptee numbers should drop since China is making it’s way up.
China isn’t on list for world vision child sponsorship anymore.

Mongolia might still be struggling a little bit, I am currently sponsoring a child over there.
I don’t really feel that they need to be brought over here unless necessary, I prefer them to being around their people and their culture if it’s good for them. Food, shelter, medical care, education should be enough.

Who knows they could grow up to be more valuable to their communities.

Human psychology have found that most people usually prefer their love/relationships partners whom they can find themselves in ( exception is sexual interests ) and yes that could play on race/ethnicity/religion.

The dating disparity itself between asian women with white men is a different topic altogether.
Asian who have assimilated or adoptees raised by a white families could be a contributing factor..

However it should not be the reason binding on dating preferences or naturally discourage any asian females from dating asian males especially if that asian male from the same ethnic background. It would probably be more interesting for the female to learning more (if it was considered).

What makes the disparity so uncomfortable is the fact that white men have no problems with dating their non-english-speaking-foreign-cultured-asian-fetish-sized geisha hyper-sexualized exotic asian china doll.

Other plausible factors could racist social norms, media influence, racial stereotypes, hegemony, white patriarchy, cultural misconceptions on male masculinities etc.

Anyway moving on, sorry about over-elaborated on the IR.

Adoptees – China should be keeping more of the women since there’s imbalance of the gender ratio. Maybe they should send more males abroad

If society was a little more ‘ethnic friendly’ perhaps adoption may not cause such such a stigma for adoptees having to grow up in a white family in a white society with the media continuously bashing China almost 24/7. I have to talk to more adoptees about this because I have only read books and they did not seem very happy.

The China adoptee numbers should drop since China is making it’s way up.
China isn’t on list for world vision child sponsorship anymore.

Mongolia might still be struggling a little bit, I am currently sponsoring a child over there.
I don’t really feel that they need to be brought over here unless necessary, I prefer them to being around their people and their culture if it’s good for them. Food, shelter, medical care, education should be enough.

Who knows they could grow up to be more valuable to their communities.