Comments on: Love and Chinese Families http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/ A blog for Asian Americans Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:07:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: vid http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-127963 vid Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:52:22 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-127963 I think loyalty and obligation is what binds asian families. I guess you could call it a gesture of family love as opposed to romantic or platonic love. I really find using the word love when associated with family to be awkward. I admit I find it hard to associate the word love with anything but romance. I think asian parents don't necessarily need to say I love you but some physical contact like a pat on the back or a hug I think really helps. I think a child who grows up without that physical affection will feel like something is lacking. I think loyalty and obligation is what binds asian families. I guess you could call it a gesture of family love as opposed to romantic or platonic love. I really find using the word love when associated with family to be awkward. I admit I find it hard to associate the word love with anything but romance.

I think asian parents don’t necessarily need to say I love you but some physical contact like a pat on the back or a hug I think really helps. I think a child who grows up without that physical affection will feel like something is lacking.

]]> By: vid http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-141521 vid Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:52:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-141521 I think loyalty and obligation is what binds asian families. I guess you could call it a gesture of family love as opposed to romantic or platonic love. I really find using the word love when associated with family to be awkward. I admit I find it hard to associate the word love with anything but romance. I think asian parents don't necessarily need to say I love you but some physical contact like a pat on the back or a hug I think really helps. I think a child who grows up without that physical affection will feel like something is lacking. I think loyalty and obligation is what binds asian families. I guess you could call it a gesture of family love as opposed to romantic or platonic love. I really find using the word love when associated with family to be awkward. I admit I find it hard to associate the word love with anything but romance.

I think asian parents don’t necessarily need to say I love you but some physical contact like a pat on the back or a hug I think really helps. I think a child who grows up without that physical affection will feel like something is lacking.

]]> By: 8Asians.com » Taking Care of Your Elderly Parents http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-127878 8Asians.com » Taking Care of Your Elderly Parents Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:51:45 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-127878 [...] do they tell you all, they treat you all the same (I hesitate to use the word love as we all know Asians don’t use the word love and I love yous are for white [...] [...] do they tell you all, they treat you all the same (I hesitate to use the word love as we all know Asians don’t use the word love and I love yous are for white [...]

]]> By: Daniel W. http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-122690 Daniel W. Thu, 14 May 2009 08:52:12 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-122690 I think a hug or kiss on a cheek (there's quite a lot of asian/chinese families that do that, older and increasingly younger generations) will show more than those three words. It may help to say them, but I don't know if it's the language or social conditioning. The words I love you in Chinese is heavily associated with romance. Plus, the Chinese words doesn't need to be that descriptive as in English for such intimate understanding. I guess saying I love you in English may be more appropriate in that matter. It may sound weird, but I prefer all that bickering, nagging and random actions of my family. I say to my parents, we're grown up, give us a break but we're still "hsiao shun". Everyone may have different experiences growing up, but in my family...filial piety is not total obedience. It's a combination of respect, dignifying-communicative familial love. It probably wasn't that bad since my parents were a bit more open minded, having to live-interacted outside of any large asian communities for most of their adult lives. I think a hug or kiss on a cheek (there’s quite a lot of asian/chinese families that do that, older and increasingly younger generations) will show more than those three words.

It may help to say them, but I don’t know if it’s the language or social conditioning. The words I love you in Chinese is heavily associated with romance. Plus, the Chinese words doesn’t need to be that descriptive as in English for such intimate understanding. I guess saying I love you in English may be more appropriate in that matter.

It may sound weird, but I prefer all that bickering, nagging and random actions of my family. I say to my parents, we’re grown up, give us a break but we’re still “hsiao shun”. Everyone may have different experiences growing up, but in my family…filial piety is not total obedience. It’s a combination of respect, dignifying-communicative familial love.

It probably wasn’t that bad since my parents were a bit more open minded, having to live-interacted outside of any large asian communities for most of their adult lives.

]]> By: Daniel W. http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-141078 Daniel W. Thu, 14 May 2009 08:52:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-141078 I think a hug or kiss on a cheek (there's quite a lot of asian/chinese families that do that, older and increasingly younger generations) will show more than those three words. It may help to say them, but I don't know if it's the language or social conditioning. The words I love you in Chinese is heavily associated with romance. Plus, the Chinese words doesn't need to be that descriptive as in English for such intimate understanding. I guess saying I love you in English may be more appropriate in that matter. It may sound weird, but I prefer all that bickering, nagging and random actions of my family. I say to my parents, we're grown up, give us a break but we're still "hsiao shun". Everyone may have different experiences growing up, but in my family...filial piety is not total obedience. It's a combination of respect, dignifying-communicative familial love. It probably wasn't that bad since my parents were a bit more open minded, having to live-interacted outside of any large asian communities for most of their adult lives. I think a hug or kiss on a cheek (there’s quite a lot of asian/chinese families that do that, older and increasingly younger generations) will show more than those three words.

It may help to say them, but I don’t know if it’s the language or social conditioning. The words I love you in Chinese is heavily associated with romance. Plus, the Chinese words doesn’t need to be that descriptive as in English for such intimate understanding. I guess saying I love you in English may be more appropriate in that matter.

It may sound weird, but I prefer all that bickering, nagging and random actions of my family. I say to my parents, we’re grown up, give us a break but we’re still “hsiao shun”. Everyone may have different experiences growing up, but in my family…filial piety is not total obedience. It’s a combination of respect, dignifying-communicative familial love.

It probably wasn’t that bad since my parents were a bit more open minded, having to live-interacted outside of any large asian communities for most of their adult lives.

]]> By: Confuse-Us http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-122513 Confuse-Us Tue, 12 May 2009 15:21:34 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-122513 Daniel.... <i>it’s definitely not just tv. a lot of american families do say “i love you” to each other.</i> I never said that they don't, I'm just saying that what you see on television is highly idealized and often only remotely resembles reality. That aside, I love <i>all</i> of you guys. Daniel….
it’s definitely not just tv. a lot of american families do say “i love you” to each other.

I never said that they don’t, I’m just saying that what you see on television is highly idealized and often only remotely resembles reality.

That aside, I love all of you guys.

]]> By: Confuse-Us http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-141077 Confuse-Us Tue, 12 May 2009 15:21:00 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-141077 Daniel.... <i>it’s definitely not just tv. a lot of american families do say “i love you” to each other.</i> I never said that they don't, I'm just saying that what you see on television is highly idealized and often only remotely resembles reality. That aside, I love <i>all</i> of you guys. Daniel….
it’s definitely not just tv. a lot of american families do say “i love you” to each other.

I never said that they don’t, I’m just saying that what you see on television is highly idealized and often only remotely resembles reality.

That aside, I love all of you guys.

]]> By: guest http://www.8asians.com/2009/05/10/love-and-chinese-families/comment-page-1/#comment-122488 guest Tue, 12 May 2009 07:15:54 +0000 http://www.8asians.com/?p=3083#comment-122488 [But Anon’s post made me reflect, that maybe I need to show my love more often, rather than speak my love, and that the act of showing it is the more important one.] so deep...so deep. [But Anon’s post made me reflect, that maybe I need to show my love more often, rather than speak my love, and that the act of showing it is the more important one.]

so deep…so deep.

]]>