8Asians.com » How to be a Korean from the South

How to be a Korean from the South

By Guest Writer | Tuesday, May 12, 2009 | 21 Comments

korean-for-dummies By Kimberly

When I asked Ernie to be a contributor for 8Asians, I was sure that he was going to email me back saying, “Sorry, you are just not Asian enough.” I was adopted by white people and shipped from South Korea to America when I was very young, so I really don’t know what it means to be “Asian.” Our family photos always looked like some sort of poster for Christian Children’s Fund, with my round little dark face amid a sea of pale skin and blue eyes. Also, I don’t live in California; I live in the DEEP South, otherwise known as the seventh level of Hell.

Where I live in Georgia, you don’t see very many Asian people. There’s maybe two in each graduating class in the high schools — they’re called the Valedictorian and the editor of the school paper. When my husband — a Round-Eye — and I owned a seafood restaurant for six years we had a young Chinese American cashier working for us. I swear, when people walked in and saw the two of us together up front they would do a double take and check the sign again. Their waitress would later tell me that the customer said they thought the new owners had turned the place into a Chinese Restaurant. Down here if you’re Asian, you’re either a brilliant physicist, a dentist or straight-off-the-boat running a Chinese buffet.

Recently I have noticed an increase in young Asian children being adopted by white couples here. I was watching Australia the other day and I was like, That’s us; we’re the lost generation growing up between two worlds.

And then I got distracted by Hugh Jackman’s sexy, oily chest in the campfire scene.

I don’t really have any current Asian events to report on from here — there’s not exactly an Asian Freaknik or anything – but I hope to share my perspective on what it’s like to try to define your identity as an Asian American in a place where the N word is still thrown around more often than you’d think, and the general consensus is that evolution shouldn’t be taught in schools and gay marriage will bring about the apocalypse. So you see my predicament; if there is such a thing as How to Be Korean for Dummies, please send me a copy now.

About Kimberly: I am a freelance writer, wife, and mother of two living in Augusta, Georgia. I was adopted and raised by wolves so my idea of what it means to be Asian is ambiguous at best. My quest to find my identity began over a bowl of rice in a Korean restaurant. One bite of bulgogi and kimchi and I was like “My ancestors are calling me home!” (If there’s anything more spiritual than marinated short ribs I’ve yet to encounter it.)

What next?

21 Comments to “How to be a Korean from the South”

stan wrote:

Thank you for contributing, Kimberly. I live in Atlanta, and I do love living in the South. I’ll be doing a BBQ day-trip to Gainesville, and comparing it to the Korean BBQ I had last weekend. I’ll be checking out your blog!

Posted on 12-May-09 at 12:17 pm | Permalink
Teresa wrote:

Hey Kimberly.

Just wanted to say that I’m really looking forward to your posts.

Posted on 12-May-09 at 12:29 pm | Permalink
Xxxtine wrote:

Welcome welcome Kimberly … to our navel gazing insanity where we fling rice at one another and question each other’s Asianness …

I can’t tell you how to be Korean, because I’m not one, but I’ve gotta say, you HAVE to watch some of the variety shows from South Korea – they’re ridiculous. I’ve wasted months watching them.

I think the easiest to digest is this one because it’s fairly straight forward, and it’s english-subbed. Too bad the show as since been cancelled: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z72eGslybtk

Posted on 12-May-09 at 12:56 pm | Permalink
John wrote:

I really enjoyed your post.

I had blogged recently about a recent trend in China:

Why Americans Are Adopting Fewer Kids from China
http://www.8asians.com/2009/04/29/why-americans-are-adopting-fewer-kids-from-china/

and made a comment on “I mean, if you are an ethnically Chinese woman raised in a white family from when you were a baby, I imagine that the likelihood she would be more likely to date and marry a white man compared to a Chinese American girl raised in a Chinese American family.” – which I got some flack for. Just wondering your thoughts on my “theory.”

Posted on 12-May-09 at 1:32 pm | Permalink
lissa wrote:

great post, I enjoyed reading it, I don’t know how to be an Asian since I was raised in New York but I can understand why it’s harder to define what an Asian is especially when everyone grew up in places other than then their birth place

Posted on 12-May-09 at 3:47 pm | Permalink
Kim wrote:

John- I absolutely have an opinion about that topic and I want to post a blog about it here if Ernie will let me. (I know you said relate my writing to current Asian events, Ernie, but there ARE no Asian events here and I promise to start following that dentist first thing tomorrow*)
Xxxtine- your post on Korean gay porn was the reason I knew this site was right for me (that and Ernie’s dildo chopstick holders- I was like, Ahhh…. I’m home)
*Okay, there probably are lots of Asians here in Augusta and Asian stuff going on, I’m just probably really out of the loop. Or they don’t like me. Assholes.

Posted on 12-May-09 at 3:57 pm | Permalink
Tristan wrote:

I, too, am adopted, and I look forward to your unique perspectives.

Posted on 12-May-09 at 9:24 pm | Permalink
Elton wrote:

I do see your predicament. You see the world, especially your own Asianness, through white eyes. You invoke white people’s stereotypes of Asians to describe yourself. Asian Americans don’t necessarily see themselves as model minorities or perpetual immigrants–but whites do. You see white people the way whites imagine Asians see whites. It’s not that Asians see whites’ eyes as especially round or their eyes as especially pale–in fact, these traits are traditional standards of Asian beauty–but whites see Asians as dark and “slant” eyed. Your view of white men, as evidenced by your marriage to one and admiration of Hugh Jackman’s body, and your imbuement of Korean American food with the “spiritual” essence of an apparently otherized, mysticized Korea is also how whites want Asians to see whites, and how whites see Asian culture, respectively. Finally, you even otherize the South despite being a native Southerner.

All of this indicates to me that you see the world and yourself not through your own perspective, but through a mainstream perspective. You’re not on the outside looking in, you’re on the outside imagining yourself looking out at yourself from the inside. You could never be, nor should you want to be, mainstream. That is the first lesson of “How to Be Korean” or, more generally, “How to Be a Proud Member of the Minority/Outside/Other.” You have so much to offer from your perspective as an Asian American in a world normally painted only in black and white–the South. And you have so much to offer as a native Southerner in a country that thinks the South is an aberration.

Your unique perspective as an Asian American in the South is just as valuable as anyone else’s. You must develop your own voice instead of seeing yourself as the other through mainstream eyes.

I am also an Asian American born and raised in the South. I’m sure we could have a lot to talk about.

Here is a great site for you to think about in terms of raising your kids: http://www.antiracistparent.com/

Posted on 12-May-09 at 10:21 pm | Permalink
Kim wrote:

Elton-
Dude, you take me way too seriously.

“You’re not on the outside looking in, you’re on the outside imagining yourself looking out at yourself from the inside.”

Sarcasm and hyperbole are my native language. Don’t look too deeply into every sentence fragment and interrupted thought (trust me, it’ll drive you mad.)

BTW, I am not a native Southerner, but I have lived here a long time. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with this region- ying and yang. There are many things I love about it, but there are also about 10 different kinds of crazy running around on any given day and most of them want to know if you’ve been saved by Jesus yet. (And if you tell me to go back where I came from, I’m going to lose it.)

Come on, with a name like Elton Joe I know we’re going to have a lot of fun. Don’t analyze me too much (until we’ve had at least half a dozen shots each of Jager and one of us ends up puking and/or naked).

Kim

Posted on 13-May-09 at 4:08 am | Permalink
Xxxtine wrote:

LOL! … me thinks Kim is more Korean than she realizes!

of course that’s said through the perspective of a confused ethnically Chinese-Canadian girl living in a multicultural city surrounded by family members who are more Filipino than Chinese, and who hosts a radio show where they play music in 3 sometimes 4 different languages in where she only fully understands one … and that’s only 5% of the time.

BTW – Hugh Jackman <3 ... that is one DAMN SEXY beast ... Rowr - you should watch him in his promotional tour for Xman when he went to South Korea. Such a gentleman ... and not awkward like that guy from Twilight.

Here he is wearing an 1 <3 Seoul Tee in an English and Korean interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSIUrZRFguk

Even had time to appear on a variety show – Eng Subbed (I just found this, so I’m watching it right now ) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr8okUx_g3A

Posted on 13-May-09 at 6:16 am | Permalink
Efren wrote:

Welcome Kimberly! As you can see, we’re a lot of fun and we don’t take ourselves too seriously.

I totally believe that bulgogi is the gateway meat, not bacon!

Posted on 13-May-09 at 8:28 am | Permalink
JC wrote:

Kim, just get into Korean Drama and you’ll learn about real Korean culture and history (and how real Asians act in an Asian society). They are popular around the world from the US to Iraq (Korean drama is #1 in Kurdistan). It will certainly help your self-esteem seeing so many attractive Asian men and women on screen. Right now Korean drama and pop culture is becoming dominate in Asia and many people around the world find Koreans hot and sexy (bet you didn’t know that). I know Asians who has visited the Middle East and have people come up to them asking them if they are from Korea and how much they love it. That’s what a good dose of Winter Sonata can do to people.

As for your kids, take them to see Wolverine and show them the hotness called Daniel Henney – he’s a hapa Korean-American like them and a star in Korea. Tell them being a super-model maybe in their future. Maybe even you might start finding Asian men attractive.

Here’s a famous ad with Dan with Gwyneth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ8DPeOvNYQ

Here’s a bunch of Round-Eyes in Philly crazy about K-drama who might give you some pointers on what to watch:
http://forum.koreandramas.net/

Posted on 13-May-09 at 10:20 am | Permalink
Kim wrote:

Guys-
I totally think Asian men are attractive!!!!
I’m sorry if I gave the impression otherwise. Okay, Ernie- I am really going to have to write about this because I can’t have people thinking that just because I think Hugh Jackman is hot I don’t think Asian men are too.
I heart Asian guys!!!!!

Kim

Posted on 13-May-09 at 10:39 am | Permalink
Efren wrote:

Kim:

You’re forgiven. I totally think Hugh Jackman is hot.

And I also heart Asian guys.

Posted on 13-May-09 at 12:45 pm | Permalink
Xxxtine wrote:

Kim, don’t get into Korean Dramas, you’ll realize once you’re done, your children will have grown up and written a book on how you neglected them.

Posted on 13-May-09 at 1:15 pm | Permalink
Jeff wrote:

Welcome! I am sort of from the South – I was born in Mississippi but I grew up in California.

Posted on 13-May-09 at 1:51 pm | Permalink
stan wrote:

Ernie’s dildo chopstick holders? Why have I not seen them?

Posted on 13-May-09 at 3:13 pm | Permalink
Charles Reeder wrote:

Kimberly,
As a fellow Korean Adoptee, check out these hilarious and informative sites:

http://askakorean.blogspot.com/ and http://stuffkoreanmomslike.blogspot.com/

Both are as educational as they are entertaining. Looking forward to more posts.

Charlie,
the KimcheeGI

Posted on 13-May-09 at 5:29 pm | Permalink
Kim wrote:

Charles:
Love it, love it love it! Esp. the Korean Mom blog- sooo funny!

Thank all of you guys so much! I have been fully submerging myself and should be done morphing soon!

And thanks for all the warm welcomes and attention- I feel like the new girl at a swinger’s party or something!

You guys are awesome.

Kim

Posted on 13-May-09 at 7:19 pm | Permalink
Shelise wrote:

Kim,

As a fellow Korean adoptee raised in the rural Midwest, I look forward to your future posts.

As mentioned by some others, a great way to “feel” Korean is to watch Korean dramas. They are cheesy, corny and sappy, but it’s one time where I can feel like I’m part of Korea. Check out the site http://www.dramafever.com. The dramas are free and the video quality is top notch.

Posted on 15-May-09 at 8:51 pm | Permalink
8Asians.com » Debbie Lee on The Next Food Network Star wrote:

[...] Korean food from a Grandmother that doesn’t speak English. Like guest blogger Kimberly who grew up in the South, both struggled with their self-identity in a region of the US where growing up Asian can be more [...]

Posted on 10-Jun-09 at 7:02 am | Permalink

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