Filipino Debuts, Cotillions and Mantillions

By Jeff | Thursday, June 11, 2009 | 6 Comments

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3366774529 48c82341d9 o Filipino Debuts, Cotillions and Mantillions

“I WANT A COTILLION!!”

If The Daughter is anything, she definitely is NOT subtle. What’s a cotillion, also known as a debut? For Filipinos, it’s a coming out party for girls, similar to a quinceanera but for eighteen year old girls. These affairs can be extremely elaborate, with choreographed dances, a big reception, formal wear and relatives coming from long distances. They can cost as much as a wedding. Gene Cajayon made one of my favorite Asian-American movies called The Debut about the events during the day of one such cotillion. But in this article from the San Francisco Chronicle, Cajayon says he is not a fan of the debut as held in the US:

“It comes from the Spanish Eurocentric point of view and there sometimes isn’t anything indigenously Filipino in the ball.”

He also adds that Filipino-American parents are sometimes pressured into having them even if they can’t afford them.

This dad in particular rejects the idea of a debut as I think about impending college costs, but The Daughter will say things like “I’m your only daughter!” or “D. is having one and her family doesn’t have a lot of money.” I’m not sure where she got this idea of a debut in her head as she has never been to one, but it’s probably a combination of going to her classmates’ quinceaneras and the pernicious influence of MTV’s My Supersweet 16 (how I hate that show!) I’m curious, do other Asian cultures have these kind of events?

Something new to me is a Mantillion: the male equivalent of a debut or a cotillion for the more metrosexual kind of Filipino guy. With any luck, Number One Son and Number Two Son won’t get any ideas.

(Flickr photo credit: ‘El Photo)

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Facebook User

I don’t know about huge parties, but I do know that in Japan, turning 20 is your official “coming of age” where young women and men dress up in traditional formal kimonos and take portraits. My mom made me do it and I just looked like an awful picture bride.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=881645042 facebook-881645042

My cousin told me that when she turned 18, her mom asked her if she wanted a cotillion or money/ jewelry. She took the money.

My other cousin didn’t really want a cotillion but her mom insisted. The photo she took has a really classic expression lol. … and I had to Emcee the event.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1662083374 Nicole Cunanan

I didn’t want one at first but my parents insisted. So I’m keeping it small (about 50 people, more than half being family). And I’m trying to do a lot of stuff by myself (making desserts beforehand, making everything beforehand) and buying some stuff in the Philippines so that it’ll be cheaper. They want catering and a DJ, but I don’t… I’m more frugal in this sense! It’s so strange…
http://www.8asians.com/author/ancientone95131/ jeffat8asians

That’s a new one – a frugal cotillion. Will you have the dances and the tiara too?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1662083374 Nicole Cunanan

I’ll have the dances, and I have family that grows flowers so I’m covered in that end.

And ewwww… no tiara for me. Too showy. I don’t even want to buy a new dress. I’m good with the ones I already have.

My friends are helping out a lot with decorating… we’re gonna shop at dollar stores and thrift stores for a lot of the decorating and we’re also gonna buy some stuff at PI for a cheaper price. My friends are also gonna help me with location and DJ (if I must have one…ick) with their connections….

Also, instead of gifts, I’m gonna have donation jars for Bantay Bata 163.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Kat-Novero/1381839974 Kat Novero

I never had a debut and never wanted one. I’m still happy and alive, though.

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