Excited
The Fiancé and I have talked about how many kids we want, and what names we’ll call them. We have more girl names than boy names, mainly because in my opinion, girl names are a lot more fun to think up than boy names. But according to a recent NY Times article, Asian couples living in America — particularly Chinese, Indian and Korean — may face a different scenario. In those communities, there are a disproportionately high number of male children in families with two or more children.
Census survey data from the year 2000 points out that Chinese, Korean and Indian families who already have one daughter are more likely to have a second child who’s a boy; if the first two children are both girls, then the third child is even more likely to be a boy. If at first you don’t succeed in having a son, try, try again. And again. These same families also consider other options to ensure a male birth, like in vitro fertilization or sperm sorting. Or abortion.
Yes, we all know about China’s one-child policy — or, as the Chinese government calls it, the family planning policy — and how that has led to the increase in abortions and infanticides of female babies. And we all know that many Asian cultures prefer male children to female. But I had no idea the bias toward male children had extended to the United States.
Generally, there are slightly more male births in the U.S., by a ratio of 1.05 to 1. But in American families of Chinese, Korean and Indian descent, the likelihood of having a boy after the first child is a girl goes up to 1.17 to 1. If the first two kids are girls, the ratio of the third child being a boy goes up to 1.51 to 1. This doesn’t sound so bad, until you think about the mentality that goes into these numbers. That some families will abort if they find out they’re having a second or third girl.
Suddenly, having an unequal number of boy names and girl names thought up doesn’t seem so important after all.
(Flickr Photo credit: ernop)
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I think many other cultures have preferences for males. And so I never thought much as my asian friend had girl after girl, four daughters before she had a son. Later my husband and I adopted our daughters from China which spun me on my ear in terms of how I perceive it.
We have run into this male preference time and again in our local asian community but attending a Chinese church exposed me to the fact that this is not an old school only attitude, it continues with the next generations. Ofcourse at church no one is admitting to abortions over it but....
I'm conflicted- it is my desire for my kids to have connections to their culture and community vs. this crazy mommy bear instinct for not wanting my dd's to be exposed to this bias any further than they already have.
I'm not sure if that is an appropriate analogy regarding choice over preference for boys and snorting cocaine. There are quite a few fundamental differences between the two. I understand the importance for discussion though. Sometimes when we look at Statistics, understand that those numbers only give you a general impression within a sample pool of people based on an assumption that it can "hopefully" represent a larger population.
It's not a big shocker of Asian families wherever they are in the world that there is a bias for boys and of course, there are many discussions on what to do to balance that mentality. This is a very old issue, not limited to Asians, and even though there are families out there that appear to be progressive, it will take time to change the attitude of an entire community.
@murdoc2009: It's a 50/50 chance, but they're saying that if the first child is a girl, the rate is higher for the parents to try to conceive ANOTHER child, hoping that it'll be a boy.
"But in American families of Chinese, Korean and Indian descent, the likelihood of having a boy after the first child is a girl goes up to 1.17 to 1. If the first two kids are girls, the ratio of the third child being a boy goes up to 1.51 to 1"
Umm, am I missing something here, but there is a 50/50 chance of having a boy/girl, just because you have a girl first, doesn't mean you have a higher chance of having a boy for your next child.
Yes, it's their choice. We should all be able to make decisions regarding our own bodies. But that doesn't mean the issue shouldn't be up for discussion, or debate. For example, I can choose to snort cocaine. My body, my choice. But if I was found in possession of it, I could go to jail. It shouldn't always be about choice, or just choice. Some choices are right and some are wrong. I can make that call for myself, and you can disagree. Still, we shouldn't push it under the rug by saying "well, *shrug*, it's their choice."
Well I'll have to disagree and say that it is entirely about choice. What individuals do with their bodies is entirely up to them. Don't forget that a foetus is not technically a girl, boy or homo sapien until it's born or it possibly reaches the 2nd tri-mester. That's why abortion can be legal and that's why it's possible to destroy a 1 month old female foetus but not a 1 month old female baby.
People may not like it, and I certainly wouldn't abort for that reason, but I don't believe that people have to legally, or morally justify their reasons for aborting. If they did, then we wouldn' have the choice to begin with.
Then there's the dilemma of continuing to have more kids than you can afford until you get the correct gender, which is what some people do. Is that more moral? I just don't think there's a middle ground, it is pro-choice, or pro-life, and if we accept pro-choice we have to live with reasons that people have for making their choices, even when we don't like it. It's their choice.
Three total children in my family. The youngest is my sister. my family tended to have large families, but my parents wanted one of each.
I never knew till this article came out that the same mentality pervades East Asian communities, in Western Society.
I know of the 50 million women missing in India and I think the total is 100 million. In Britain, the Doctors no longer tell the prospective British Asian (Indian, Pakistan, Bangladesh) parents the gender of the foetus.
"the likelihood of having a boy after the first child is a girl goes up to 1.17 to 1. If the first two kids are girls, the ratio of the third child being a boy goes up to 1.51 to 1. "
Emm this isnt uncommon ANYWHERE. My grandparents had Six Females and One Male and they lived in china.
@ Confuse_Us: This goes beyond pro-choice or pro-life. If a doctor told a woman she had a 75% chance of dying if she continued with the pregnancy, then I would understand her decision to abort. If the doctor told the woman "It's a girl," and she decided to abort, I wouldn't understand her decision at all. I was never raised with the pressure (or even encouragement) to have sons, so it's hard for me to look at it from the perspective of someone who was. I just think people should think of the bigger picture when it comes to having children--that they are healthy and happy--and not focus on having one gender or the other.
"This doesnu00e2u0080u0099t sound so bad, until you think about the mentality that goes into these numbers. That some families will abort if they find out theyu00e2u0080u0099re having a second or third girl."
Do you mean to say that pro-choice is a good thing except for when someone makes a choice that you disagree with?
My aunt has 5 kids, 4 girls and 1 boy (youngest). It was no secret that they wanted a boy in the family.
My father has said myself that I was conceived a last, desparate attempt to carry on the family name, a first son of a first son -- my sister is ten years older than me, and my mother had two miscarriages before I was conceived.
Then they found out I was gay and everyone was disappointed. The End.
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