O, Sexy Me: Finding Sexual Liberation in Hollywood

By Ken

I am a Sex in the City kind of guy. And not because I’m gay—it’s a known fact that the New York gals were mouthpieces by proxy for the gay male writers. I liked the character relationships, the witty lines, and the hip vibe of the show but really for me, it was the sex.

My favorite and most memorable scene was the masturbation demonstration when Miranda got ‘splattered.’ I laugh just thinking about it. It’s one of those moments for me, like how I still remember Julie on Love Boat with green hair, still crack up thinking about the taxi scene in Foul Play, and still get teary eyed recalling “O Captain, My Captain” in Dead Poet’s Society.

I’ve always been a goody two shoes, and to a certain extent, that image is pretty accurate. I admire that people can be free in their lifestyle choices, but for myself, I’m fairly traditional. I’m a one-man guy, believe in fairy tale-esque romances, and seldom (if at all) have ventured into anything that would be deemed kinky.

That’s not to say that I haven’t wondered about varied methods of coital expression. I had the weirdest puberty, where a constant fantasy was being held captive with Richard Gere while our penises bound together. Compounding my bizarre sexual maturation was that any sort of sexual education came too late–I only discovered what masturbation was by watching National Lampoon’s Animal House. I thought that since chicken had breasts then so did I. From what I learned from Happy Days, necking was when you touched necks together. So I had my Chihuahuas lie on my neck and wrote in my diary that I necked for so and so minutes with my dog.

Maybe that’s why I enjoy Sex and the City. For educational purposes.

That’s also why I loved Quentin Lee’s The People I’ve Slept With starring Karin Anna Cheung and Archie Kao, and written by 8Asians contributor, Koji Steven Sakai. Seeing Caucasians go horizontal seems so standard compared to the vicarious quotient in seeing an Asian woman get funky between the sheets. I loved the film so much that I seized any opportunity I could to help promote the film. I organized and sponsored a reception for the film’s screening at the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival with the Pleasure Chest to lend some adult novelties for the guests. The film seemed to have freed everyone’s inhibitions enough that at the reception, the mainly API audience turned quite raunchy. I have the photos to prove it!

Perhaps acting without metaphorical constraints is what really gets my rocks off. Seeing the characters in TPISW and the people at the reception behave in a way that’s beautifully a part of them and non-conforming to the stereotypes of APIs was liberating to me.

So if I ever do hit the male dead zone down under, I’ll have to satisfy myself with that notion. Though truthfully, in my brain there’s such a high perv quotient that should any physiological changes occur, immediate signals will be sent throughout my body acting as antibodies toward any hint of impotence.

Sex and the City 2 opened this weekend nationwide. The People I’ve Slept With plays at the Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival and other venues across the country. See the film’s official website for upcoming dates.

Ken Choy is an actor, writer, community organizer, and producer of Breaking the Bow. He is gay, green, and gluten-free.

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