Internet Quizzes: How Asian Are You?

Every year during Asian-Pacific American Heritage month I wonder how Asian American I really am. This year I decided to find out. I spent an entire afternoon taking Internet quizzes to test my inner-Asianness.

First, you’ll be happy to know that I am indeed Asian. Well, kind of. According to How Asian Are You?, I am 66% Asian. This is what they said about me:

You are trying very hard to be Asian but you haven’t quite mastered the art. Being able to order from an Asian restaurant or watching an Asian movie doesn’t quite qualify you. And you should really find out what that tattoo means. You could be walking around with something that says “idiot.”

This was a little confusing because in the Azn Quiz, which was written by an Asian person and therefore more valid, I am a “true Asian!”

Congratulations, you’re totally Asian! Now go jump off of a wall! Or better yet, go brag to your friends that you’re Asian and they’re not! Hip-Hip hooray for you!

But I wasn’t satisfied, so I took more quizzes. Next I found out what kind of Asian Girl I would be. Apparently, I am a FOB girl.

Congratulations! You’re a fob girl! There’s nothing wrong with that… you’re smart, cute, only semi bitchy, AND you can sing in 3 (or more) Asian languages. Personally i think it’s really cute. But watch out i think those girls over there wanna beat you up…ahhh!

And since I took that quiz, it made sense to take the What Asian Guy Would You Be Matched Up With quiz as well. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my Asian guy match would be Japanese pop idol, actor, and model Jin Akanishi. He’s so dreamy. I feel so lucky. Try not to be jealous.

But since I’m a boy and not a girl, I took the What Kind of Asian Guy Are You? quiz. And apparently, I’m a “cool quiet Asian dude.” In other words, I’m a stereotype. I wonder how I could have answered the questions differently to be the “fun not so quiet Asian man.” Maybe I’ll take the test again.

Not every test was so disappointing though. I took the What Flavor Pocky Are You? quiz and I found out that I’d be Flan Pocky. I didn’t even know there was such a flavor! I even liked what they told me about myself:

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
You are East meets West. Sweet meets salty.
You are fond of contradictions. You are a contradiction.
You’re a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

How did this one little Internet quiz know me so well? I am contradiction! I really am! For example, I love In & Out Burger but I never actually get a burger! That’s sweet and salty!

Anyway, there were some quizzes that did make me think. Seriously. ILike2Learn.com’s Asian Map Quiz tests your knowledge of Asian countries. They had a blank map and a name of an Asian country and then asked me to find the country. I scored a respectable 67.5 out of 100. Okay,  I failed. This test made me realize that I was pretty ignorant when it came to the location of the various Asian countries not named: Japan, North/South Korea, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and India.

There were other quizzes. One tested my Asian IQ, another my familiarity with Asian Food, my knowledge of Asian Pacific American History, and one PBS quiz tested my awareness of famous Asian Americans. However, these quizzes weren’t as fun as the others.

In the end, no one should take these tests seriously. They are meant to be funny. But it got me thinking… if I designed a quiz to test true “Asian-ness” what question would I ask? Let me know what you think and also I’d love to hear how you scored on the any of the tests above.

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Author: Koji Steven Sakai

Writer/Producer Koji Steven Sakai is the founder of Little Nalu Pictures LLC and the CEO of CHOPSO (www.CHOPSO.com), the first Asian English streaming video service. He has written five feature films that have been produced, including the indie hit, The People I’ve Slept With. He also produced three feature films, a one hour comedy special currently on Netflix, and Comedy InvAsian, a live and filmed series featuring the nation’s top Asian American comedians. Koji’s debut novel, Romeo & Juliet Vs. Zombies, was released in paperback in 2015 and in audiobook in 2016 and his graphic novel, 442, was released in 2017. In addition, he is currently an adjunct professor in screenwriting at International Technological University in San Jose.