8 Asians

We love it when Asians behave badly. It gives us something to gossip about and also, it makes us feel pretty badass. It’s true. It’s like a slap in the face to that annoying stereotype about being submissive model minorities. You want high SAT scores? How about a dumb lawsuit?

Of course, this doesn’t mean we condone any sort of bad behavior. No, you shouldn’t lie about getting job offers and you shouldn’t try to steal money from cute boys. Actually, what am I even saying? These people make us look bad. Maybe I shouldn’t write about this.

So I’ll just say that I’ve been enjoying the case of 19 year old Rachel Lee and her burglary “bling ring”. If you’ve ever needed proof that paparazzi sites like TMZ are bad for society, then here you go: thanks to the proliferation of Hollywood gossip blogs like TMZ (and probably Google Maps), Lee and her friends were able to track down and rob the homes of Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge and other famous people who probably deserved it.

(I mean, let’s be real. They didn’t even have to break in: these people never locked their doors. Plus, like Paris Hilton ever wears the same outfit twice? Rachel probably put good use to those diamond watches.)

Conclusion: Rachel needs a book deal so she can tell us what exactly is inside Lindsay Lohan’s house. Cocaine? Discarded hair extensions? What’s left of her career?

Rachel. You’re Asian. You should be smart enough to get yourself out of this mess. Make us look good!

As someone who grew up in the U.S., I never really got the Disney bug as a child. Maybe it’s because I grew up in New York, far away from either Disneyland and Disneyworld. My first experience with Disneyland wasn’t until I was in college and visiting an aunt and uncle in Los Angeles. There also wasn’t much to pick from in animated Disney films as I was growing up. Fast forward, and today, thanks to having a 4 year old daughter, I’m in over my head in Disney paraphernalia. I can tell you the name of every Disney Princess, including the one who’s going to be introduced this December.

We’ve spoiled our daughter and taken her to Disneyland for her birthday each year, so we’ve gotten pretty familiar with the theme park. In addition my company has even held an event in EuroDisney, which I got to attend. What I didn’t realize until reading about the latest Disneyland planned for Shanghai, is that there’s already one in Hong Kong and Tokyo.

The park in Shanghai has been in planning for the last 20 years, and finally won approval this month. It’s estimated it will be completed in 5 to 6 years and be a little larger in size than the current Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. Disney hopes this theme park will create the kind of marketing engine that the other Disney parks have, encouraging families to buy into the paraphernalia the way my family has.

In part, the promotion of Disney within my own family has been largely my fault, as I was looking for role models for my daughter, and thought Mulan, with all its flawed images of Chinese culture, was at least a good independent Asian female role model, and not the helpless princesses of other Disney classics. Unfortunately, my daughter never took to Mulan and instead favors Snow White, who relies on others to save her. Disney to their credit did also produce an American Native Princess, Pocahontas, and East Indian Princess, Jasmine. And finally this Christmas season, the African American Princess, Tiana. My daughter can’t wait to go see this latest movie, so I think I’ll refrain from letting her know there’s another Disneyland she can visit until she’s a little older.

Of all the new shows this fall season, one of my favorites is ABC’s Modern Family which tells the story of three inter-related families in a mockumentary style – sort of The Office meets a family sitcom. One of the families is represented by a same sex couple, Mitchell and Cameron, who have adopted a Vietnamese girl, Lily. In the most recent episode, Mitchell accidentally bumps Lily’s head against the ceiling – and being concerned, Mitchell and Cameron take their daughter to see a doctor, who happens to be an Asian American woman who grew up in Denver.

Cameron, being white and feeling he needs to justify the adoption of Lily, makes some inappropriate comments and hilarity ensues.

You read that right– anime hip-hop martial arts musical! It’s all that and a bag of chips!*

East West Players has gathered a creative team to develop a new musical that utilizes all three art forms and a 25 minute presentation of this work in progress will be performed on Friday, November 20, 7:30pm at the National Center for the Preservation of Democracy in Little Tokyo, Los Angeles. A Q&A discussion will follow.

The working title for the production is KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE.

Description: The heart of hip-hop is in the battle. Young Norman Lee must learn this if he hopes to survive his new high school life as an Upper Westside import now transported to Bushwick, Brooklyn, after his Mom loses her 6-figure salary job. After being bullied, beat-down, and watching his Mom swallow her pride by accepting a job as a fast food fry cook, young Norman Lee enlists the guidance of Sir Master Cert to help him learn the ways of b-boy to compete against the baddest crew in Bushwick for respect, honor, and a chance to prove to his Mom that this life away from material wealth can and will work.

The creative team includes: bookwriter Qui Nguyen, lyricist Beau Sia, composer Marc Macalintal, hip-hop choreographer Jason Tyler Chong and anime consultant Jane Wu. The presentation is directed by East West Players’ artistic director Tim Dang and reunites Dang, Chong and Macalintal after their successful collaboration of the 2008 hit run of PIPPIN.

The Writers’ Gallery offers public readings of works that are being considered for the mainstage at East West Players and are presented in conjunction with the Japanese American National Museum and The National Center for the Preservation of Democracy. This workshop is made possible in part by The James Irvine Foundation and The National Endowment for the Arts which believes that a great nation deserves great art; and by the support of individual donors.

The Writers’ Gallery presentation of KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE (working title) will be on
Date: Friday, November 20th
Time: 7:30pm
Venue: National Center for the Preservation of Democracy
111 North Central Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90012
Admission: free

For more information, please call East West Players at (213) 625-7000 or visit www.eastwestplayers.org. Dates and details are subject to change.

*Ok, I lied. No chips– no food and drink allowed inside at National Center for the Preservation of Democracy

In modern pop culture, the Three Kingdoms period of China is kinda like the Medieval period to Americans — dramatic war stories full of people performing acts of valor and glory that have been dead of hundreds of years — except, you know, that shit was real. (Okay, King Arthur may be real, but the whole slaying flying dragons thing? Come on, now.) Which is probably why Red Cliff, the epic four-hour movie based on the Three Kingdoms period that was directed by John Woo last year smashed box office records in China previously owned by Titanic.

Now an abridged, westernized version Red Cliff is coming to America and if you live in the Southern California area, you’re in luck — you can watch a free screening in Los Angeles at the DGA. But here’s the catch — the free screening, especially geared towards 8Asians readers, is Wednesday night. Yep, tomorrow. To RSVP, YOU MUST send an email with the subject line “RED CLIFF RSVP – AAAN” to redcliffRSVP@gmail.com where you will receive further instructions. Priority will be given to registered people, but that does not guarantee a seat, so we recommend you arrive at least 30 minutes before the special 7pm screening time. And use the bathroom beforehand — this may be the abridged version, but with a 140-minute screening time, you’ll not want to miss any of the action.