I am a Sex in the City kind of guy. And not because I’m gay—it’s a known fact that the New York gals were mouthpieces by proxy for the gay male writers. I liked the character relationships, the witty lines, and the hip vibe of the show but really for me, it was the sex.

My favorite and most memorable scene was the masturbation demonstration when Miranda got ‘splattered.’ I laugh just thinking about it. It’s one of those moments for me, like how I still remember Julie on Love Boat with green hair, still crack up thinking about the taxi scene in Foul Play, and still get teary eyed recalling “O Captain, My Captain” in Dead Poet’s Society.

I’ve always been a goody two shoes, and to a certain extent, that image is pretty accurate. I admire that people can be free in their lifestyle choices, but for myself, I’m fairly traditional. I’m a one-man guy, believe in fairy tale-esque romances, and seldom (if at all) have ventured into anything that would be deemed kinky.

That’s not to say that I haven’t wondered about varied methods of coital expression. I had the weirdest puberty, where a constant fantasy was being held captive with Richard Gere while our penises bound together. Compounding my bizarre sexual maturation was that any sort of sexual education came too late–I only discovered what masturbation was by watching National Lampoon’s Animal House. I thought that since chicken had breasts then so did I. From what I learned from Happy Days, necking was when you touched necks together. So I had my Chihuahuas lie on my neck and wrote in my diary that I necked for so and so minutes with my dog.

Maybe that’s why I enjoy Sex and the City. For educational purposes.

That’s also why I loved Quentin Lee’s The People I’ve Slept With starring Karin Anna Cheung and Archie Kao, and written by 8Asians contributor, Koji Steven Sakai. Seeing Caucasians go horizontal seems so standard compared to the vicarious quotient in seeing an Asian woman get funky between the sheets. I loved the film so much that I seized any opportunity I could to help promote the film. I organized and sponsored a reception for the film’s screening at the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival with the Pleasure Chest to lend some adult novelties for the guests. The film seemed to have freed everyone’s inhibitions enough that at the reception, the mainly API audience turned quite raunchy. I have the photos to prove it!

Perhaps acting without metaphorical constraints is what really gets my rocks off. Seeing the characters in TPISW and the people at the reception behave in a way that’s beautifully a part of them and non-conforming to the stereotypes of APIs was liberating to me.

So if I ever do hit the male dead zone down under, I’ll have to satisfy myself with that notion. Though truthfully, in my brain there’s such a high perv quotient that should any physiological changes occur, immediate signals will be sent throughout my body acting as antibodies toward any hint of impotence.

Sex and the City 2 opened this weekend nationwide. The People I’ve Slept With plays at the Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival and other venues across the country. See the film’s official website for upcoming dates.

Ken Choy is an actor, writer, community organizer, and producer of Breaking the Bow. He is gay, green, and gluten-free.

These websites can be counted on for hours of entertainment. For example, take a look at Xiaoquin from China. She is one of the hottest 45 year olds I’ve ever seen and she doesn’t care how you look! Wow! If I wasn’t already married, I’d send off for her right away. I wonder if they have a layaway policy.

So I’m going to ignore the whole racist, sexist, stereotypical portrayals of Asian women inherent in these kinds of marriage services. I’ll just say that these websites are all of those things and much worse.  What fascinates me the most are the clientele: men looking for “international” and “traditional” women “who know how to treat a man.”

My first instinct is to make fun of these guys, like this one who, by the way, lives with his parents or this winner with a tattoo to show he’s hardcore, but also can’t spell. How many misspellings and grammatical errors can you find in his “My Match” section?

im lookin for someone who isnt afraid to say wat she thinks who deosnt care wat other people think and who is willing to compromise in certain cituaitions and who is open minded.

But I did find someone who I thought seemed nice and sweet. This man is relatively cute, he goes to Berkeley, and is pre-med so you know he’s not a complete idiot. But why is he posting his profile on an international marriage site? Doesn’t his mom know a good Chinese woman? Asian brother, contact me. I have friends who would probably go out with you.

Do other Asian American guys look for Asian brides? I didn’t. After a quick check on the other websites, the kid from Berkeley seems like an anomaly. Don’t believe me? Check out the “success” stories of such mail order relationships. I can’t read it (since most of it is not in English), but judging from the pictures, it seems like all the guys are older Caucasian men with younger Asian women. I’m not going to judge these men (they seem creepy to me) but they look exactly how I would imagine how men seeking mail order brides would look.

All these Asian bride websites had me question if there were sites for Asian grooms. The answers is sadly, no. To be honest, part of me is offended but the more I think about it, the more I believe that I might have stumbled upon a great business opportunity. Anyone want to invest?

“Sexual attraction is irrational,” Shanahan argues. “If it weren’t then, logically, everyone ought to be compulsorily bisexual … isn’t limiting yourself to one gender as inherently “sexist” as it is “racist” to proclaim that, for instance, you’re not attracted to Chinese men?” Anthony, who sent us the link, doesn’t think so. That’s a “typical Australian attitude.”

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that we have yet another stereotype to be aware (or proud?) of: We’re cheaters!

Normally, this wouldn’t even register on my radar — ooh, straight Asian guys are having sex. yay — but then realizing how the stereotypes of Asian men have been since at least the 1960s, when apparently Asian men couldn’t have sex with anyone except themselves, it’s good to know that American women (read: middle-class white women) are finally acknowledging this basic fact: Straight Asian men are getting it on. WITH WOMEN. WHITE WOMEN. AND THEY CHEAT.

Of course, when you read the article, it’s painted with incredibly broad brushstrokes (“Asian” culture? Gag.), but it does point, however awkwardly, that straight male privilege is the same in nearly all parts of the globe.  Men are expected to be the breadwinners, work excessive hours to maintain their jobs and their families, and are lucky to see their wives/partners/etc. more than once a week, while having to deal with their stress by excessive drinking, womanizing, etc., because the workplace culture demands it.  And of course, if the writer is assuming this by dating ten or even twenty Asian men, that’s still not enough to make any generalizations.

At least it’s better than the assumption that Asian men are all docile little pussycats that would be the nearly-white men that these white women can take home to meet their (incredibly racist but overly polite to mention it) mothers.

So, to the original writer of that post: Asian men are still men. And some Asian men are douchebags and assholes who will cheat on your complacent white ass (like a certain Asian American man who’s been WAY overexposed who’s known for having eight kids.) And some Asian men are the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. You’ve just been unlucky to meet a whole slew of douchebags.

(Hat tip: George)

Just before we broke for the weekend, Moye shared this NSFW video with the other 8Asians writers. “Date An Asian” is a comedic R&B song written by musician/comedian Jen Kwok.

In the style of “a mid-tempo Mariah Carey club joint”, the song has a rare message: extolling the awesomeness of “dating” an Asian guy! Jen wrote “Date an Asian” as a positive and lighthearted reaction to negative stereotypes about Asian guys. The song was originally written and performed on ukulele, and premiered at Gotham Comedy Club in 2008 to a both shocked and appreciative audience. Soon after, she recruited her friend, rapper Soce, The Elemental Wizard, to produce the song and perform a guest verse from the gay guy’s perspective. Jen and Soce have been performing the song live for New York City audiences to great laughter and acclaim.

The video features some of New York’s top male Asian stand-up and improv comedians, and the breakdance troupe Part-Time Models. And in case you didn’t get the lyrics the first time, you can read them here.

My favorite line is in the bridge: “Where my bubble tea drinkers at? (Everyone should be raising their hands for that one – it’s delicious!)”

While the reactions were mixed amongst us, Ernie summed up his opinion with: “Is that… is that a gay nerdcore rapper that just did her breakdown? OH SHIT, it totally is. Insta-win.” He then proceeded to re-watch the video another 13 times.

Hooray for bubble tea, Jen Kwok, gay nerdcore rappers, and of course, dating Asian men!

(Can we please add this to our 8Asians Glee Club song list?)