8 Asians

We love it when Asians behave badly. It gives us something to gossip about and also, it makes us feel pretty badass. It’s true. It’s like a slap in the face to that annoying stereotype about being submissive model minorities. You want high SAT scores? How about a dumb lawsuit?

Of course, this doesn’t mean we condone any sort of bad behavior. No, you shouldn’t lie about getting job offers and you shouldn’t try to steal money from cute boys. Actually, what am I even saying? These people make us look bad. Maybe I shouldn’t write about this.

So I’ll just say that I’ve been enjoying the case of 19 year old Rachel Lee and her burglary “bling ring”. If you’ve ever needed proof that paparazzi sites like TMZ are bad for society, then here you go: thanks to the proliferation of Hollywood gossip blogs like TMZ (and probably Google Maps), Lee and her friends were able to track down and rob the homes of Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge and other famous people who probably deserved it.

(I mean, let’s be real. They didn’t even have to break in: these people never locked their doors. Plus, like Paris Hilton ever wears the same outfit twice? Rachel probably put good use to those diamond watches.)

Conclusion: Rachel needs a book deal so she can tell us what exactly is inside Lindsay Lohan’s house. Cocaine? Discarded hair extensions? What’s left of her career?

Rachel. You’re Asian. You should be smart enough to get yourself out of this mess. Make us look good!

You read that right– anime hip-hop martial arts musical! It’s all that and a bag of chips!*

East West Players has gathered a creative team to develop a new musical that utilizes all three art forms and a 25 minute presentation of this work in progress will be performed on Friday, November 20, 7:30pm at the National Center for the Preservation of Democracy in Little Tokyo, Los Angeles. A Q&A discussion will follow.

The working title for the production is KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE.

Description: The heart of hip-hop is in the battle. Young Norman Lee must learn this if he hopes to survive his new high school life as an Upper Westside import now transported to Bushwick, Brooklyn, after his Mom loses her 6-figure salary job. After being bullied, beat-down, and watching his Mom swallow her pride by accepting a job as a fast food fry cook, young Norman Lee enlists the guidance of Sir Master Cert to help him learn the ways of b-boy to compete against the baddest crew in Bushwick for respect, honor, and a chance to prove to his Mom that this life away from material wealth can and will work.

The creative team includes: bookwriter Qui Nguyen, lyricist Beau Sia, composer Marc Macalintal, hip-hop choreographer Jason Tyler Chong and anime consultant Jane Wu. The presentation is directed by East West Players’ artistic director Tim Dang and reunites Dang, Chong and Macalintal after their successful collaboration of the 2008 hit run of PIPPIN.

The Writers’ Gallery offers public readings of works that are being considered for the mainstage at East West Players and are presented in conjunction with the Japanese American National Museum and The National Center for the Preservation of Democracy. This workshop is made possible in part by The James Irvine Foundation and The National Endowment for the Arts which believes that a great nation deserves great art; and by the support of individual donors.

The Writers’ Gallery presentation of KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE (working title) will be on
Date: Friday, November 20th
Time: 7:30pm
Venue: National Center for the Preservation of Democracy
111 North Central Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90012
Admission: free

For more information, please call East West Players at (213) 625-7000 or visit www.eastwestplayers.org. Dates and details are subject to change.

*Ok, I lied. No chips– no food and drink allowed inside at National Center for the Preservation of Democracy

In modern pop culture, the Three Kingdoms period of China is kinda like the Medieval period to Americans — dramatic war stories full of people performing acts of valor and glory that have been dead of hundreds of years — except, you know, that shit was real. (Okay, King Arthur may be real, but the whole slaying flying dragons thing? Come on, now.) Which is probably why Red Cliff, the epic four-hour movie based on the Three Kingdoms period that was directed by John Woo last year smashed box office records in China previously owned by Titanic.

Now an abridged, westernized version Red Cliff is coming to America and if you live in the Southern California area, you’re in luck — you can watch a free screening in Los Angeles at the DGA. But here’s the catch — the free screening, especially geared towards 8Asians readers, is Wednesday night. Yep, tomorrow. To RSVP, YOU MUST send an email with the subject line “RED CLIFF RSVP – AAAN” to redcliffRSVP@gmail.com where you will receive further instructions. Priority will be given to registered people, but that does not guarantee a seat, so we recommend you arrive at least 30 minutes before the special 7pm screening time. And use the bathroom beforehand — this may be the abridged version, but with a 140-minute screening time, you’ll not want to miss any of the action.

The curse of a great song like Jay Sean’s “Down,” the kind which hits #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, is that it gets played it like a million times on the radio until you don’t want to hear it anymore.

The flipside of a great song is that it might get covered by a talented artist like Dawen. So even though you’re listening to the same song, it’s really not the same song after Dawen works his magic on it.

Want more Dawen? He’s performing twice at Breaking the Bow this weekend in L.A. Check him and all the other cool artists of The 1st Annual Independent Asian Pacific Islander Performing Artists and Writers Festival out at the Miles Memorial Playhouse through Sunday.

There’s no denying Hello Kitty’s global domination.  Can you name any other icon character that has graced almost every single kind of product, from stationary sets and band-aids to Paris Hilton and hospitals around the world? (Okay, yes, maybe Mickey Mouse but whatever.)

The mouth-less kitty will be celebrating her 35th anniversary this year, and Sanrio is throwing a special birthday party with a special art exhibit, Three Apples, at the Royal T cafe in Los Angeles.

The exhibit features contemporary artists like Martin Hsu, Buff Monster, Camilla d’Errico and Luke Chueh, all of whom reveal their personal take on the female cat. The show officially opens this Friday, October 23rd and will be open to the public for the next three weeks. A portion of the art sales will also be donated to LA Works, so you can be sure that even on her birthday, Hello Kitty works for the greater good.

For those of you interested in more than art, Hello Kitty has also planned a series of events at Royal T to ring in her mid-thirties: there will be karaoke nights, workshops, a special brunch and even a photo op with Hello Kitty herself (OMG I WILL TOTALLY BE THERE. WHO WANTS TO COME?).

So Happy Birthday, Hello Kitty! Thank you for providing about 98% of my beach towels, kiddie bags, functional pencil erasers and fancy pencil cases. Without you, my childhood growing up in California wouldn’t have been as cute, pink and well accessorized. Now, if I only I could find a human version of this costume, I’d be all set for Halloween.

Even though my parents came to the US from Taiwan in the 70s, I’m not a fan of Taiwanese pop music; maybe it’s because so much of it seem to come from Boy Bands from mainland China or consist of numbingly slow love ballads with videos of forlorn looking couples looking sad at each other in some random-ass wheat field. (Seriously, why are there so many Taiwanese ballad music videos of someone standing in a field? They have buildings, right?)

But this music video by Taiwanese indie-pop band WonFu — not to be confused with Asian American product company Wong Fu Productions — I can get behind, mostly because it takes all of that bubble-gum cheeriness that Taiwanese people love so much and puts it behind a bassline; imagine the catchy hooks of Puffy AmiYumi put through the wringer of a Taiwanese variety show, goofy sound effects and all. If you think they’re good enough to catch live, they’ll be touring cities and venues up and down the West Coast, including Seattle, Portland, San Francisco and schools like Cal Berkeley and UCLA.