Tiger & Dragon Mom Overload: Meet The New Chinese Mom Zodiac

By jozjozjoz | Tuesday, October 18, 2011 | 24 Comments

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8a dragon Tiger & Dragon Mom Overload: Meet The New Chinese Mom Zodiac

On the 8Asians internal mailing list, Moye shared an article from the New York Times called “Notes From A Dragon Mom,” asking if “Dragon Moms” were the new “Tiger Moms.”

It’s no big secret that I’m totally over anything labeled “Tiger,” especially Tiger Moms, which started the whole recent phenomenon. We’ve already heard about Tiger Moms, Tiger Daughter, Paper Tigers, Tiger Woods (ok, so that’s actually his name)… but please spare us from having to go through it all again with Dragon ______s (fill-in-the-blanks).

So I responded to the email with this:

Must the word “Mom” be with prefixed with every animal in the frakkin Chinese zodiac?

Fine then.

Here is my Chinese Mom Zodiac*:

Rat Moms – 鼠: They infest old buildings and crowded, unsanitary areas that exist in an urban environment. Rat Moms are pests because they eat food and contaminate it with urine and excrement. Sometimes they, or the parasites they carry, (such as fleas, mites and worms) spread many diseases. Rat Moms pass on their fuckin’ diseases to their kids and the world at large. They suck.

Ox Moms – 牛: Oxen are commonly castrated adult male cattle, so by that train of thought, Ox Moms are already pretty effed up. Ox Moms are pretty much only good for lugging stuff around and for their dung, to be used as manure or fuel. They stink. And they suck.

Tiger Moms – 虎: A lot has been made of Tiger Moms because the tiger supposedly represents fearlessness and wrath in many Asian cultures. Although this may have been true in the wild, Tiger Moms in captivity are known for their penchant to maul gay magicians on stage. They suck, too.

Rabbit Moms – 兔: Rabbit Moms have a very rapid reproductive rate. Famous examples of Rabbit Moms include Octomom and Kate Gosselin. ‘Nuff said. They suck (+8!).

Dragon Moms – 龍: Topping the list of Moms Who Need Dermatologists, Dragon Moms are vaguely reptilian, possessing typically scaly or feathered bodies. Yuck! Dragon Moms are actually mythical and wish they were real moms. Because they’re creatures of fantasy, some people think Dragon Moms are pretty fantastic. Actually, they’re pretty sucktastic.

Snake Moms – 蛇: Snake Moms lack limbs, but this does not impede their movement. They can be seen swallowing prey much larger than their heads in one giant bite with their fanged mouths. Because of their fangs, they are often mistaken for vampires. And everyone knows that vampires literally suck (blood).

Horse Moms – 馬: In the past, Horse Moms were considered unintelligent, with no abstract thinking ability, unable to generalize, and driven primarily by a herd mentality. In the present, it turns out this is true. And they’re pretty slutty because they let men ride them, often in public. I bet they suck, too.

Sheep Moms – 羊: Sheep Moms are perpetually stuck in the 80s and desperately need fashion upgrades. You can spot them in flocks, usually with crimped hair called wool and often with horns forming a lateral spiral. Ewe. (Is that a bad pun? Frankly My Dear, I don’t give a lamb.) You’re baaaaa-riliant if you already knew that Sheep Moms suck, too.

Monkey Moms – 猴: Monkey Moms like bananas. Actually, Monkey Moms ARE bananas; if you have a Monkey Mom, I hope you have money saved up for psychotherapy. Do they suck too? You bet your bonobos, they do!

Rooster Moms – 雞: Why did the Rooster Mom cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something (sucky).

Dog Moms – 狗: Dog Moms are total bitches. Dogs Moms may seem fetching at first glance, but a childhood with a Dog Mom is a ruff childhood filled with sheer terrier. I saw a Dog Mom treat her kids so re-pug-nantly that it really ticked me of and made me want to pinscher! I’ve heard so many paws-itively horrific tails of woe that it would make you hot under the collar. If you’re the child of a Dog Mom looking for new leash on life, schnauzer chance! Flea in a hurry and run away from home! It’s Siriusly the only way to get away from that suckage!**

Pig Moms – 豬: Pig Moms are most commonly associated with eating not only their own feces, but those of other beings. In parts of the third world, where villager dwellers excrete in the open, Pig Moms are known to eat this excretia. Wow, I knew Pig Moms were disgusting, but that was even grosser than I thought. Oh yeah, they suck, too!

* with apologies to things I copied and pasted from the Internet. Mostly from Wikipedia.

** I didn’t come up with those. Blame these people.

Please Note: My Mom is not any of these… she is a Joz Mom and there is only one and she is awesome!!!

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jboee

Joz, did you actually read the article? The mother writes about the tragic experience of raising a child with Tay Sachs disease…raising a child that will die slowly and painfully before the age of 3 years. Raising a child that will never learn to talk, walk, or feed itself. She isn’t using the term dragon as a backhanded pseudo-Asian slur. She uses dragon because of the sheer terror and enormity of the tragedy parents of terminally ill children face.

I understand that you’re trying to be funny but doing so with a direct link to an op-ed that is so extremely sad is in poor, poor taste.

Here are the last two paragraph’s of the author’s essay. This explains why she uses the term dragon. Chinese people do not actually have sole ownership to the term dragon.

“I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go.

But today Ronan is alive and his breath smells like sweet rice. I can see my reflection in his greenish-gold eyes. I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.”
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

No, I did not (and still have not) read the actual Dragon Mom article cited. Although I know that Chinese people do not have “sole ownership” to the term dragon, what I am responding to is the ridiculousness of creating new stereotypes of “Mom archetypes” with animal characteristics such as Tigers, Dragons, etc. I never accused her of using the word “dragon” as a backhanded Asian slur. In fact, I don’t mention anything about the article itself, outside of the headline mentioning “Dragon Mom.”

Although I still have not read the Dragon Mom article, based on your synopsis, I can applaud the author’s willingness to share her Tay Sachs parenting story and experiences with the larger community. That said, I’m not sure how the word “dragon” is supposed to be indicative of the “sheer terror and enormity of the tragedy parents of terminally ill children face.” Honestly– if you didn’t know that the Mom was a parent of a child with Tay Sachs– would the words “Dragon Mom” bring up connotations of a parent of a terminally ill child? I don’t think so. (I was also admittedly turned off from reading anything beyond the words “Dragon Mom,” mostly as a backlash to all things “Tiger.”)

And again, my “zodiac” was meant to be be a response to the phenomenon of naming things “Tiger/Dragon/whatever animal ____.”

It was not commentary on the specific Dragon Mom article or themes within it.
http://tinabot.blogspot.com/ TinaTsai

I read the D-mom article, and it is tragic and moving and eye-opening and brought me to tears. Since my life is all about working with kids and preparing them for the future, that article really made me reflect on what I do. My heart goes out to her. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through.

But yeah, the use of “Dragon mom” did cause me to raise an eyebrow. Especially since it’s a clear reference to the Tiger mom thing (in the article she explicitly names Amy Chua) which in turn leans the metaphor towards the Chinese zodiac dragon as opposed to, say, the Sean Connery dragon. Also the metaphor of breathing fire seems out of place, too. A Chinese zodiac reference means more likely than not “dragon” here is Chinese or Asian, and last I checked Chinese dragons don’t breath fire. Eh, semantics.
raymonst

this is wrong as hell.

and i laughed.
Pingback: Tiger Mom Vs. Dragon Mom: New Ways to Talk Parenthood | Family | 8Asians.com
raymonst

@jozjozjoz i read the dragon mom article, and i do question the use of “dragon”.

to me, at least, it doesn’t really conjure up “fierce and loyal and loving as hell.”
moye

@raymonst@jozjozjoz Same here. It made me think of a mom hoarding a pile of gold in a cave.
http://www.8asians.com/author/akrypti/ akrypti

@jozjozjoz & @moye : Y’all just a bunch of dragon editors.
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@akrypti@moye Oh yeah? We’re Dragon Editors? THEN WHERE’S OUR PILE OF GOLD!?!?!?!
YukanutPhindami

Well I really hope this is from someone who didn’t read the Dragon Mom article because saying “Dragon Moms are actually mythical and wish they were real moms.” OH YEAH SHE’S NOT A REAL MOM YOU ARE RIGHT BECAUSE SHE’S ABOUT TO BURY HER CHILD SOON!!! GOOD ZINGGER!!! You know who else aren’t real moms and mythical like dragons!! Women who have miscarriages!!! *cymbal crash THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY! You know I get the whole “give an eye role to people that want to Asian-ify things but seriously WOW.
YukanutPhindami

I agree she did use “dragon mom” as an offense to the Asian community she did it as a way to say “well if Tiger moms are synonymous with moms that parent towards child with a future then what do you call moms with a child of no future…and she maybe looked in the zodiac for inspiration but she could have gone by “fire fly mom” because a light that burns bright will go out or Labrador retriever mom because she is loyal no matter the circumstances but I think she just used Amy Chua as the catalyst to prove her point. @jozjozjoz
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@YukanutPhindami

Please see my comment below. (No, I did not and still have not read the actual Dragon Mom article.)

Also, I’m not the person who is joking about miscarriages. Also, I don’t accuse the author of the Dragon Mom article of doing anything Asian.
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@YukanutPhindami

Please see my comment below. (No, I did not and still have not read the actual Dragon Mom article.)

Also, I’m not the person who is joking about miscarriages. Also, I don’t accuse the author of the Dragon Mom article of doing anything Asian.
YukanutPhindami

Well I understand your knee jerk reaction to “Dragon mom” I thought “here we go again” with the ____mom thing….I even thought Dragon mom was about helicopter cops…but I unlike you read the article and then read your article and after readying “wish they were real moms” it just doesn’t sit right …and I understand you were going off a knee jerk reaction without reading the article but I think you can understand where people would be upset and you and say you don’t know what the hell you are talking about which I thank you for acknowledging because you were honest and said you didn’t read the article so it’s understandable. @jozjozjoz
YukanutPhindami

helicopter moms ….or cops LOL @jozjozjoz
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@YukanutPhindami None of the “zodiac” descriptions above are intended to be commentary on the specific Dragon Mom article or themes within it.

That said, I’m surprised that anyone would think that the Dragon Moms” wish they were real Moms” line was anywhere remotely serious… especially since the line right before that I said, “Dragon Moms are vaguely reptilian, possessing typically scaly or feathered bodies.”
YukanutPhindami

Yeah I know Emily Rapp is not a lizard…I know that. Thanks for pointing that out I was so stupid to think that. It’s okay I’m not going to convince you that this tongue in cheek article was in bad taste and nor are you going to read the article it’s okay I understand you view point. @jozjozjoz
mwei

that sounds like a “dog mom” from the zodiac animal menu
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@YukanutPhindami For the record, I didn’t call you stupid.

It was just surprising to me that any portion of my post was taken seriously by anyone. (You weren’t the only one.)

Although maybe we’re both wrong– what if Emily Rapp is a lizard in disguise as a Mom with a Tay Sachs child?!
moye

@YukanutPhindami@jozjozjoz I think this wins as the most passive aggressive comment in the history of 8A.
http://www.8Asians.com/ jozjozjoz

@moye@YukanutPhindami I think Moye is a lizard in disguise.
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