8 Asians

Before I begin, I want it to be clear that my farts smell like the strawberry air freshener they use at car washes. So this article is about other APIs. Not me.

I admit, I’ve always wondered if Asian people’s farts are smellier than other races. So I decided to do some “research.” But before you begin typing “Asians and farts” or “Farting Asians” in your little Google search bar, I need to warn you that there are pages and pages of videos of people (many of whom are Asian) farting in front of their cameras.

If you’re curious, this is example of such a video. I can’t embed it, so here’s the link. (Click at your own discretion.)

That video has over 164 thousand views. I never knew watching people fart online was so damn popular.  If I had known, I could have been an online “personality.” Maybe even the next Ryan Higa. But instead of being funny, I would fart.

But I digress.

What I found interesting when I started to do some research was that Asians had three stereotypes when it comes to flatulence. One, we’re seen as crass. Spitting, burping, FARTING, and scratching in public. Two, on many occasions I’ve been told that Asians have the worst smelling farts.  And then there is this from Yahoo! Answers:

Do Asian girls ever fart?
I’ve never heard an Asian girl fart before. Is it because they want to be cute and not do it?

The best answer, at least chosen by the voters, was:

everyone farts, ethnicity doesnt change the functions of the human body

But my favorite answer was:

no they dont have butt holes

The scientific community is suspiciously quiet when it comes to the subject of farting and race. So we’re forced to look at more “anecdotal” sites.  On one such site, the writer used personal experience and his friends to rate the pungency of farts by race. This is what he had to say about Asian farts:

Asians: I must say that big things come in small packages. As one of my good friends from Chi-town has proven time and time again. Good ol GW can hold his own in the fart department. But why is he able to stink up a joint so bad. Well take a look at the Asian diet. First off lets focus on Sushi. Anytime you have raw anything you are bound to wreak havoc from the anus. Just think about all the various fish that are used and what is often mixed in with them. I also would like to point out that Asians tend to use eggs in their cooking. Which can lead to the dreaded Asian Egg Foo Fart! So the next time you think about ordering egg noodles, egg foo yung, or egg drop soup please consider the lives of those around you. Asian farts get a 8!

He rated Caucasian farts a 7, African American farts an 8.5, and Hispanic farts an 8.5. The group that he rated as the highest (remember this is HIS opinion, not mine) were the South Asians:

Indian: Like their Asian counterparts, Indian people have their eclectic list of foods. Ranging from roti to goat. However in this particular case it isn’t what they eat. For Indian farts it is what they use to cook the food. As you may know Indians utilize a ton of curry to spice up their meals. Now I don’t know if you ever have smelled curry but that sh*t right there is potent and stings the nostrils. Just image the number it does with seasoning your farts. Certainly packs a punch and has a very distinct smell to it. Once that scent creeps in our nose it can make your eyes water forever! Curried scented farts get a 10 on the pungent scale

Personally, I think he’s wrong. I have South Asian friends whose farts are no less smelly than mine or anyone else’s for that matter. But I do think the writer is on to something. If you look past his stereotypes, I believe he was correct to focus in on the foods. Because it is not the ethnicity/race that is the major factor in the odor of a person’s farts but the type of food he/she eats and the various ways it affects their bodies.

With that being said, APIAs might suffer from this affliction more than their Eastern and American counterparts. Why? Because of the amount of milk or milk products in a typical American diet. I found this table titled, “Lactose Intolerance by Ethnicity and Region” and according to the table, East Asians have a 90-100% rate of lactose intolerance, the highest amount of any group. Assuming this percentage is correct (and I have no reason to doubt it), APIAs would have trouble processing milk or milk products, which would naturally cause our bodies to fart more often than people of other races. It should be noted that on this list South Asians had only a 70% rate of lactose intolerance which would mean they would be far less affected by milk – most likely, discounting the above rating.

I believe I have satisfied my curiosity on this subject. And hopefully yours. But I want to end this article with an interesting intersection between farting and ancient Japan. Trust me, there is an intersection.  This is what I found on Wikipedia:

He-Gassen  (Japanese: 屁合戦 Farting Competition or Fart Battle) is a Japanese fart scroll created during Japan’s Edo period by an unknown artist. The scroll has been digitized by the Waseda University Library. This scroll and similar drawings were created in response to increasing intrusion of Europeans in Japan during the Edo period. The art scroll features people, mostly men, in various states of undress farting the direction of other people, animals, and other objects.

Don’t you wish you had this scroll in your bathroom?

(The pictures at the top of the articles are from a wonderful Facebook group called, Famous Farts.)

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