arrow10 Comments
  1. Guest
    Dec 03 - 9:32 am

    This comment was taken from the NY times comment section:

    “I know many readers will strongly disagree, but I must say that this
    short story should have been called “Puppy Love” or “Taboo Love.” It
    seems like Nguyen is enamored with this man only because of their
    differences in age and race. I find that Nguyen romanticizes the fact
    that she is a young Asian woman in a relationship with an older White
    man. Nguyen’s intrigued with this man as a child is intrigued by a new
    pet puppy.

    A “love story” like Nguyen’s has been told, re-told, & examined over
    and over again in various books, magazine articles (read Marie Claire:
    The New Trophy Wives), & movies/documentaries (check out Slaying the
    Dragon). What makes Nguyen’s experience any different than the other
    countless books of the “hero” White man saving the Asian woman from
    despair? Is it the fact that Nguyen is able to vividly describe the
    intricacies & nuances of her time w/ this White man and make it
    sound like a mediocre novel? …”

    think this comment is spot on. Nothing wrong with the relationship..I
    mean it’s their business, but it just demonstrates how much
    white-worship is prevalent today. In her piece, she also writes: “We eat
    our dinners on the living room floor instead. I stretch my legs
    out in front of me and he scoots over, leaning against me. He carefully
    trims the fat off the edges of his steak and transports the pieces to my
    plate, where he knows they’ll be savored. In these times, our
    recede into the background.” …So obviously, Asian men don’t do those
    things? Or all Asian men are the same that personality
    differences/quirks don’t exist? Come on…

    But by far, the worst
    part is she practically glamorizes her bf’s social awkwardness and
    frankly loser-ness. She even admits herself when she is describing the
    first date in her piece. I know tons of confident, good looking, rich,
    and super smooth Asian guys…but the 35 year old, struggling soul white
    guy with varicose veins is somehow something to be idolized? Give me a

  2. MaSir
    Dec 03 - 10:51 pm

    Wow. Both Titi and her mom must’ve been best friends with Amy Tan.

  3. NotSoSunny
    Dec 04 - 11:22 am

    But I wonder what someone would say about a white woman describing her Asian boyfriend in the same way?

    I have been told I have a fetish, I am weird, and that my ex boyfriend is actually a closet homosexual…because there’s no other reason we would have for dating each other. We couldn’t possibly have anything in common!
    Stop the hate people!

  4. MaSir
    Dec 04 - 1:51 pm

    We would applaud and commend you because you’re breaking down stereotypes.

  5. cjl2009
    Dec 04 - 3:37 pm

    It’d be fetishistic and perhaps a little condescending (to treat an Asian man like an exotic pet), but it wouldn’t be loaded with the type of colonial mentality BS that this hideous article contains.

  6. cjl2009
    Dec 04 - 3:40 pm

    I can almost understand her mother’s ignorance, especially if she’s an immigrant and came from a poor background in Vietnam.

    But for her so-called American daughter to so willingly embrace a backwards and colonial mindset is pretty disheartening.

  7. Rachel Stockwood
    Dec 10 - 3:45 pm

    Let’s not forget that both parents of the girl work for the guy’s parents. Therefore they may have a bit of money. Factor in that the guy is older and will naturally die off first perhaps leaving a bit of the money. Not condoning it but just saying.

  8. NotSoSunny
    Jan 21 - 6:37 am

    My boyfriend was my equal in every way and there was nothing about his “Asian-ness” that made him more appealing other than I tend to date men with dark eyes/hair(race NOT considered). To specifically pic a partner b/c of an assumed stereotype is crazy! Would I date an Asian guy again? If we have things in common, yes – not just b/c he is Asian!

  9. NotSoSunny
    Jan 21 - 6:38 am

    That is very cool. I think we all need to reevaluate our beliefs and check whether we are buying into stereotypes. It’s a crazy, racist world we live in!

  10. [...] ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Leeland Lee has previously written for about Asian self-hatred in The New York Times [...]

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