“Dear Rest of the World: We see your [INSERT COUNTRY HERE]’S GOT TALENT show, with your Susan Boyle and ten-year old opera singers and your really sad sand paintings and your male-female drag impersonations, and we raise you A 19 YEAR OLD WHO CAN PLAY THE PIANO WITH HIS GODDAMN FEET.
THAT’S RIGHT, FUCKERS. YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF OUR HIGH SUICIDE RATES IN IPHONE FACTORIES, BUT OUR 19 YEAR OLDS CAN FUCKING PLAY CHOPIN WITH NO GODDAMN ARMS WHATSOEVER, SO EAT IT. PS, we’ll be sending those billions of dollars in goods to your Walmarts shortly, after we’re done being goddamn inspired by this guy with NO FUCKING ARMS.
<3, The Peoples Republic of China" (Hat tip: NEAATO)