The Westland Giftware company makes weiner dog figurines; you know, the kinds of kitschy gifts you see in a cabin somewhere Tennessee where some housewife in her 40s devotes a whole pantry to having as many stoneware and ceramic animals as possible, right below the wood carvings of “GOD BLESS OUR HOME” and “SAY NO TO OBAMACARE?” Yeah, those. Some of those dogs are dressed as eskimos, other dressed like they’re Royal British Guard Dogs to some Royal British Dog Queen.
So needless to say, there’s a weiner dog samurai figurine — OF COURSE there’s a weiner dog samurai — and while that would be well and good, did they REALLY have to paint squinty eyes on the dog? Were any housewives in the Antler Art and Knife Shop in Fredricksburg, Texas — where the photograph above was taken, by the way — going to march up to the shopkeeper and say “uhm, excuse me, these samurai dogs are CLEARLY not oriental enough, can you paint some squinty eyes on him?” And most importantly, if that was a real samurai dog with a sword that size, how the hell will the dog be able to commit seppuku for all the shame he must feel?
(Hat tip: Brian R.)