Awww, isn’t this cute? ABC’s dating reality show The Bachelorette could have taken Bachelorette Ashley and her suitors to Paris or the Caribbean, but the show decided to take them to Taiwan instead. Taiwan! I know! Attached is an outtake of the show where the Bachelorette, host and suitors gush over Taiwan for a minute and a half. It’s an outtake, because it’s a minute and a half of gushing over a country, instead of people gushing over each other or Ashley sobbing on her bed because it’s so hard to love so many guys at once and like only choose one. Also, they probably needed to produce a package to impress the Taiwan Tourism Bureau.
Clearly, while it’s all very scenic and beautiful, hell if that’s the Taiwan I know visiting as a kid, with the motor scooters and the shoulder-to-shoulder people. That said, could you imagine the outtakes of the outtakes?
[Ashley and Suitors are at a Stinky Tofu stall at a Night Market]
Suitor #1: Where are we? The food smells weird.
Suitor #2: I know, right? China is so strange.
Ashley: Uhm, I don’t think we’re in China. The producers told us not to say China.
Suitor #3: Broseph, we’re totally in China. Dude, I’m an East Asian Studies minor. This is Chinese. Japanese has the scratches, Korean has the boxes and circles, we’re definitely in China.
Ernie’s Dad: Actually, you are in a renegade province of China. I eagerly look forward to the day when Taiwan, Republic of China will re-unite with the motherland under democracy oof [Quick edit to Dad getting tackled by 15 people wearing green.]
Suitor #4: Who was that guy?
Ashley: Dunno. Will you accept this rose?