8 Asians

Dear Jason Li:

By the way, I can call you Jason, right?  I mean, your name is all over the internet now.  Good!

You know, I feel for you. I really do. Your hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks lost the Stanley Cup in the seventh game to the Boston Bruins, a team that hasn’t won a hockey title in 39 years. And as a brief resident of your fair city a couple of years ago, I was charmed by your delightful combination of trees, wacky two dollar coins, kinda-similar-but-not-really radio stations and, of course, those influx of Asians from the immigrant wave in the late 1990s. If nothing else, I’m happy to see that you, as well as other Asian-Canadians, are acclimating into the civic fabric of Downtown Vancouver.

BY TEARING SHIT UP.

I’m all for getting all Wolverine ragey; release of anger is good! And the rage-face with the giant hockey stick in front of the panels of broken glass make it seem like the Canuck’s loss (combined with the B- you got in Organic Chemistry) was your Taxi Driver moment. It matches the belt, so I’m okay with that, really!

But if you’re going to pose for Associated Press photographers who have worldwide distribution to news centers all over the world, you may want to give a quick heads-up Skype call to your aunt in Hong Kong to tell her that you’re not a homicidal maniac; there’s just simply this thing in Canada called hockey, and that you were “just posing.” (I wouldn’t tell her about that B- though; that may cause some broken glass and rage face of her own.)

See you at the Richmond Night Market,
– Your friends at 8Asians

(Hat tip: AsiansOnYouTube)