Excited
Interracial dating is a tough subject. Which is why I’m not writing about it right now. Instead, I’m writing about the delightful juxtapositions that I often find in everyday life.
Like in this article in Asiance Magazine, for instance: “Dating Advice Q&A by a seasoned NYC dater”
The article is in a question & answer format. It’s written by Rhoda Roc, who “has dated in New York City for a long time. Here she gives her expert dating advice for all women dating all over the world!”
(Huh, so dating in NYC gives a person the expertise to offer global dating advice? Neat! I’ve lived & dated in NYC, maybe I should offer some advice too! Like: Guys, whacking the weasel can calm you down before a date. And girls, if he has some “hair gel” hanging on his ear, don’t, oh please for the love of God, don’t touch it.)
The first question is from a Korean American woman who is dating a Jewish American of which her parents don’t approve. It’s probably a typical scenario many Asian American women who are dating non-Asian American men face. Rhoda writes:
Interracial dating is a good thing but it is the forbidden love. Like most Asian families, they are very traditional and will not understand the modern times you live in… If you are madly in love, race does not matter and neither should what you parents say… Race should not prohibit love.
The next question is also from an Asian American woman, this time, with a slightly different predicament.
How can you tell whether a guy that you’re dating really likes you for you or he has an Asian fetish? I really thought he liked me for me, but since we’ve recently become intimate he says derogatory expressions like “I like Sucky” and “I know you want it Asian Princess” during sex. I can’t help but wonder what this guy is really all about?
Rhoda responds with:
He sounds very kinky and I would get the hell out. It seems he only has sexual intentions and fantasies to fulfill… and you ARE it. Some men prefer blondes and others prefer Asian features with black hair, olive skin and slanted eyes… He sounds like a FREAK.
I don’t know about you, but Hahahahahaha!! Oh man that cracked me up!
What a delightful juxtaposition. In one, the interracial relationship crossed ethnic and cultural boundaries. It was simply a guy and a girl in a relationship. The guy just happened to be a Montague and the girl, unfortunately, a Capulet. And you know how those two families are. (Well, maybe not exactly like that – last time I checked, the Koreans weren’t at war with the Jews, but you know what I mean.)
In the other, the interracial relationship was a case of yellow fever (also known as rice paddy fever).
And this, in a nutshell, is the crux of the oh-so-common debate of interracial dating between Asians and Non-Asians. Are they dating because they truly like each other for who they are, race be damned? Or because one of them is exotic and foreign?
Oh wait, I said I wasn’t writing about interracial dating. If you want to talk about interracial dating, head over to the article “The White Boy speaks on dating Asian Women” and check out the debate in the comments. Me, I’m going to go back and laugh at that second question. Hahaha! Freak! Hahahahaha!
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I think the question was from a girl who is assuming white IBankers are obnoxious yet she was surprised that Asian bankers were. She wasn't exluding asians as people, just obnoxiousness..They arent initially obnoxious.. That is my take It's usually the white aryan pricks..Believe me I know!
I think the question was from a girl who is assuming white IBankers are obnoxious yet she was surprised that Asian bankers were. She wasn't exluding asians as people, just obnoxiousness..They arent initially obnoxious.. That is my take It's usually the white aryan pricks..Believe me I know!
Oh duh, oops, I didn't realize you were quoting from the article. Ha. Stupid me. I shoulda known too, seeing as I friggin wrote about that article...
Me
Oh duh, oops, I didn't realize you were quoting from the article. Ha. Stupid me. I shoulda known too, seeing as I friggin wrote about that article...
Me
To Mike:
You missed my point. Yes, "arrogance" and "obnoxiousness" are universal qualities among all people. Why did the writer have to explicitly say that Asians are included when talking about "people"?
Because, by default, we aren't.
To Mike:
You missed my point. Yes, "arrogance" and "obnoxiousness" are universal qualities among all people. Why did the writer have to explicitly say that Asians are included when talking about "people"?
Because, by default, we aren't.
@courageous kiwi,
Sadly, arrogance and obnoxiousness (is that a word?) know no racial/cultural/ethnic bounds. Even the Smurfs had Grumpy Smurf, and... oh wait, there's no Grumpy Smurf. Drat. Well, I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll find an arrogant and obnoxious blue person somewhere too.
@courageous kiwi,
Sadly, arrogance and obnoxiousness (is that a word?) know no racial/cultural/ethnic bounds. Even the Smurfs had Grumpy Smurf, and... oh wait, there's no Grumpy Smurf. Drat. Well, I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll find an arrogant and obnoxious blue person somewhere too.
Three words: white sexual imperialism.
Three words: white sexual imperialism.
FTFA:
QUESTION: I have traveled back and forth from the United States and Asia most of my life. I recently landed a job in a high profile investment bank. Not only do I not have time to meet people due to long hours at work, but I u00e2u0080u0098m not really interested in the ones I work with. They are so arrogant and obnoxious, even Asian guys. What would you suggest?
WTF?
FTFA:
QUESTION: I have traveled back and forth from the United States and Asia most of my life. I recently landed a job in a high profile investment bank. Not only do I not have time to meet people due to long hours at work, but I u00e2u0080u0098m not really interested in the ones I work with. They are so arrogant and obnoxious, even Asian guys. What would you suggest?
WTF?
I'm Jewish, and my wife is Chinese. I think that when it comes to interracial relationships, the important thing is to recognize and respect cultural differences and be open to sharing them. If you don't want to be with someone outside of your race because you want to live within your original culture, then that's one thing, but don't write people off based solely on the color of their skin.
If I was strictly observant, and kept kosher, I would never have dated a woman whose ethnic cuisine includes a lot of pork. (Likewise, if I were still dating, I would not want to date an observant Christian, because her culture would conflict too much with mine.) Our son is being reared as a Chinese-American *and* as a Jew, and all three of us have a richer life for it. But we understood going in that we would be sharing our cultures rather than trying to change one of us from one to the other.
Last night I met a Chinese woman who's married to an American (but I didn't meet her husband). She was very impressed that I know a few Chinese words and even that I can use chopsticks! I thought that was a little weird -- you marry a Chinese woman (based on her accent I don't think she's been in the US all that long), but you don't even learn to use chopsticks?
I'm Jewish, and my wife is Chinese. I think that when it comes to interracial relationships, the important thing is to recognize and respect cultural differences and be open to sharing them. If you don't want to be with someone outside of your race because you want to live within your original culture, then that's one thing, but don't write people off based solely on the color of their skin.
If I was strictly observant, and kept kosher, I would never have dated a woman whose ethnic cuisine includes a lot of pork. (Likewise, if I were still dating, I would not want to date an observant Christian, because her culture would conflict too much with mine.) Our son is being reared as a Chinese-American *and* as a Jew, and all three of us have a richer life for it. But we understood going in that we would be sharing our cultures rather than trying to change one of us from one to the other.
Last night I met a Chinese woman who's married to an American (but I didn't meet her husband). She was very impressed that I know a few Chinese words and even that I can use chopsticks! I thought that was a little weird -- you marry a Chinese woman (based on her accent I don't think she's been in the US all that long), but you don't even learn to use chopsticks?
Native born Asians are probably going to be more interested in people they're used to, namely Asians they grew up around (most Asian countries are vastly homogenous in terms of race). But, looking at the statistics, a staggering 54% of third gen. Asian Americans marry outside their race. I could bet that the majority of those Asian Americans are female.
Native born Asians are probably going to be more interested in people they're used to, namely Asians they grew up around (most Asian countries are vastly homogenous in terms of race). But, looking at the statistics, a staggering 54% of third gen. Asian Americans marry outside their race. I could bet that the majority of those Asian Americans are female.
Interracial dating is OK but the serious stuff should be kept within the bounds of your race. I must mention that native-born Asians contribute the least percentage of interracial dating/marriage(http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200301/race). I guess they feel that a similar language and culture is very important in a serious relationship. I think "I love you" in English is not the same as "I love you" in Vietnamese.
Interracial dating is OK but the serious stuff should be kept within the bounds of your race. I must mention that native-born Asians contribute the least percentage of interracial dating/marriage(http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200301/race). I guess they feel that a similar language and culture is very important in a serious relationship. I think "I love you" in English is not the same as "I love you" in Vietnamese.
OK... Let me tell ya all summin you'll all get when you grow up.. All this shit aint gonna matter what so ever.. It all ends up to whom you end up with and how happy you are with that person... nothing else.. it is all between you two... period.
OK... Let me tell ya all summin you'll all get when you grow up.. All this shit aint gonna matter what so ever.. It all ends up to whom you end up with and how happy you are with that person... nothing else.. it is all between you two... period.
To be fair, the flip side is "white fever" or "white bread fever," as I've heard it called. Heh.
To be fair, the flip side is "white fever" or "white bread fever," as I've heard it called. Heh.
OMG that was a funny post. I've never heard rice paddy fever!
OMG that was a funny post. I've never heard rice paddy fever!
Why do I feel so disgusted that she actually responded with "others prefer Asian features with black hair, olive skin and slanted eyes?"
I can't believe anyone still calls them "slanted eyes!"
Why do I feel so disgusted that she actually responded with "others prefer Asian features with black hair, olive skin and slanted eyes?"
I can't believe anyone still calls them "slanted eyes!"
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