A friend of mine forwarded the link to this published article in Slate today by Ray Fisman, “An Economist Goes to a Bar And solves the mysteries of dating“:
“To really understand what people prefer, you need to pair men and women randomly in an experimental dating service and document the decisions they make. And so for a couple of years at a local bar just off the Columbia campus, I ran a speed-dating experiment with two psychologists, Sheena Iyengar and Itamar Simonson, and fellow economist Emir Kamenica. Some of our findings confirm well-worn clichés. But others surprised us.”
The most interesting results relevant to 8Asians readers were:
“Another clear gender divide, this one less expected, emerged in our findings on racial preferences, reported in a forthcoming article in the Review of Economic Studies. Women of all the races we studied revealed a strong
preference for men of their own race: White women were more likely to choose white men; black women preferred black men; East Asian women preferred East Asian men; Hispanic women preferred Hispanic men. But men don’t seem to discriminate based on race when it comes to dating. A woman’s race had no effect on the men’s choices. Two wrinkles on this: We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women’s neutrality, not the men’s pronounced preference. We also found that regional differences mattered. Daters of both sexes from south of the Mason-Dixon Line revealed much stronger same-race preferences than Northern daters.”
So according to all of those who complain about the imbalance of Caucasian men with Asian women, it’s all the Caucasian’s men fault, NOT Asian women….Hmmm. I wonder what kind of comments I will get with this posting 
. If you click through to the Slate article, the study confirms the obvious that men put more emphasis on physical attractiveness than women, and that men like women who are as smart, but not smarter, than themselves. And women value intelligence and ambition in men.
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Jesse! wrote:
wow pretty interesting! It says nothing about the media’s obsession with sexualizing women in general and “the other” especially.
also, use white, not Caucasian please.
Posted on 07-Nov-07 at 4:37 pm | Permalink
Ray wrote:
I’d have thought the opposite.
It seems it *is* the Asian women’s fault because of their racial preference neutrality. I read an article a while back that stated while women from all races accept interracial dating, Asian women are the only ones that have no special preference for their own men whereas the others do. The article plainly states that the race of the woman has no effect on dating choices of men but also, similarly points out that Asian women have no bias for Asian men or biases against white men.
Also keep in mind that the interracial pairings with white men is especially large compared to other female demographics along racial lines is because there is a significant portion of Asian women who harbor a disdain for Asian men.
So, in the end, Asian women don’t get off *that* easily.
I give this thread about 10 minutes before someone attempts to trump up how the world should be “colorblind” only for me to issue a rebuttal in the form of a book.
Whitewashing Race: The Myth of a Color-Blind Society
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0520244753/ref=pe_606_6908150_pe_ar_t8
Posted on 07-Nov-07 at 6:23 pm | Permalink
Bo wrote:
Ummm…I read the above to mean that it IS the Asian women’s fault, and NOT the white men’s. Basically, it sounds like the findings are implying that men are ‘ol horn dogs who will date any pretty thing and it’s really the women’s preference that will drive pairings. You see, women really DO rule!
Posted on 07-Nov-07 at 6:28 pm | Permalink
Ray wrote:
/shrug
Maybe the OP was being sarcastic. There was no other way to read it but I’m still trying to wrap my head around it though. In essence, Asian men are replaceable with white men. I think that might be why more and more of my Asian guy friends are starting to date non-Asian women because “they were never really wanted which is the biggest turnoff of all.”
I don’t approve of this mentality either because it’s not fair to the non-Asian women they’re dating.
Oh, well. Such is life.
Posted on 07-Nov-07 at 6:37 pm | Permalink
Guppy wrote:
Interesting tidbit from the Fisman, et al. paper:
“For male partners, our main finding is that Asians generally receive lower ratings than men of other races. In fact, when we run the regressions separately for each race, we find that even Asian women find white, black, and Hispanic men to be more attractive than Asian men. Given that Asian men were the group that other races expressed
strongest preference against, and that Asian women expressed the least preference against other races, the results suggest that attractiveness may play an important role in the determination of racial preferences, especially those against Asian men.”
I’m a sad panda now :’(
Posted on 07-Nov-07 at 10:21 pm | Permalink
Xxxtine wrote:
I honestly don’t think point fingers at each other is constructive to the argument as people’s preferences of whom they want to be with is incredibly subjective. If a person is as shallow to date a specific race not similar to their own - then why in the world is it any of our business to trump or trivialize their decision?
I onetime dated a guy who had much to say about this subject and that he used a friend of mine, who’s married to a white guy, telling me that no Asian guy would go for her because she wasn’t ‘pretty enough’. For her, she went to a school, where there were very few Asians attending and also in a field where there aren’t many Asian men period. I’m sure if she was approached, she may have considered it.
It’s nobody’s fault and just an effect of society and their environment.
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 7:11 am | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
I don’t agree with this study. First off, it’s my belief based on empirical evidence that Asian people are fetishized in general. Speed dating is flawed for this study, at least for men, primarily because of the pizza theory (’Even when it’s bad, it’s still good’) applied to sex, because most of the time, if it only seems like it will take a little effort, men will try to have sex with all women, even those they do not find particularly attractive; hell, I’d try to have sex with a female grapefruit, so as long as it wasn’t, A) related to me, B) I had no intention of eating it, and C) have outward displays of the symptoms of one or more sexually transmitted diseases (and it’s even questionable how strictly I’d adhere to the last rule). For this reason, this study can’t possibly come to any good conclusions about how attractive persons of a specific race are to other persons of different races. A better study, though it would probably only work for men, would be to secretly monitor their pornographic material and use that data set to determine what men find attractive when they can have ANYTHING they want. I believe this will result in the conclusion that men find Asian women attractive, though it won’t be because the women are beautiful, intelligent, or rich, but rather, because they want a woman who will “sucky sucky” and “love them long time.”
And also, just to make this a bit more interesting, can we get some input from the gay men on this blog about who they find attractive and the problems they have (http://www.yawningbread.org/guest_2004/guw-091.htm)?
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 11:53 am | Permalink
Guppy wrote:
I once walked in on a guy having sex with a watermelon.
Just throwing it out there.
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 12:10 pm | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
That’s pretty funny. In my original comment, I actually wrote “Watermelon”, then right before I posted, I changed it to ‘grapefruit’, thinking to myself, “That hits a little too close to home …”
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 2:10 pm | Permalink
akrypti wrote:
I usually like to refrigerate my watermelons before consumption. I presume your friend was not using a refrigerated watermelon for his purposes because that would not sound pleasant at all.
And I’ve always held that theory on what kind of porn a man has in his stash not only tells a lot about who he is sexually attracted to, but also his personality. It should be a first date question. “So tell me about your porn collection, please, in great detail.”
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 3:13 pm | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
I’ve always held the theory that women will always try to find a man’s porn collection, which is why I advise all men to keep two porn collections: a decoy collection, with roughly 200 megabytes of pictures of Playboy Playmates (because a significant other will get extremely suspicious if she finds no porn and all, and will continue looking), and the real collection, hidden cleverly with some Unix drive mounting strategy, consisting of the type of material that would get you tarred and feathered in the Bible Belt.
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 3:32 pm | Permalink
Bertie wrote:
Sex with watermelon.
That reminds me of that scene in the Joy Luck Club when Russell Wong sticks a knife in a watermelon as a metaphor for deflowering a virgin and yells out “Kai gwa!”
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 3:35 pm | Permalink
Guppy wrote:
@ akrypti: “a guy” =/= “friend”.
And cold watermelon vs. acidic grapefruit? It’s going to be a tough call.
@ kiwi: Do a search for an unusually large “Taxes 2006″ folder. Has worked for me in the past.
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 3:55 pm | Permalink
Ray wrote:
It’s very easy to explain this particular Asian American cultural phenomenon so it’s mindboggling why everyone is offering theories. Theories are only offered because you don’t have any answers. Problem is, we know the answer. We just don’t want to admit it because we don’t like it. We’d rather ignore it despite overwhelming evidence. Even with studies offering proof, Asian Americans constantly jam their heads into the sand.
As much as Asian American women love to extol how much they support Asian men, I find that it’s merely a “shield” to protect themselves from charges of being “sellouts.” Actions speak louder than words and their actions speak volumes. Their support only goes so far. Sadly, it falls far short when compared to women from other demographics.
Like this study stated, I’ve always had a suspicion that the propensity of Asian women to date whites at such a huge volume is mainly due to the fact that Asian women simply don’t have a preference for Asian men.
Whoops.
Sorry, I mean they don’t discriminate against white men.
Is that politically correct enough for you? See, anyone can spin a fault into a virtue.
Eh, who cares? I’m going to employ much simpler terms; they don’t have a preference or bias for Asian men. While other women accept interracial dating, they also have a strong preference for their own men first. There’s no sense arguing against it. You can dismiss the study but from many real life experiences, which many can vouch for, it’s true. It’s time to stop lying to ourselves. When it comes to relations with whites, I’d expect Asian Americans and Latinos to have less of an interracial dating pattern than black Americans simply because black Americans don’t have a culture unique to their racial background. Latinos and Asian Americans, on the other hand, do.
I also have a difficult time understand why Asian women aren’t aware of this issue. Why do we keep ignoring the 800 pound gorilla in the room? They would either have to be apathetic or ignorant of this issue. I’ve talked to non-Asian female co-workers in my office and they stated that it makes complete and logical sense for Asian men to feel heartbroken and resentful. Why is it so difficult for Asian women to grasp? I know it’s not because Asian women are stupid. Is it because Asian women can lie to themselves and not confront themselves about the possibility of causing another segment of the population pain or emasculation? To be honest, I’m not able to respect someone who is unable to empathize or sympathize with other human beings.
It’s a mere coincidence that the original poster quoted from an article that dating has some relation to economics. Working at one of the major financial institutions on Wall Street, I have also found it easier to relate this issue to economics. It’s all about value and options they give you.
Let’s stop fooling ourselves and admit it. Asian men have very little to no social value in the North American dating world. When was the last time you heard a non-Asian women say “wow, I have got to get me an Asian man!”
Never.
When someone has no value, they have no leverage. When you have no leverage, you’ve become someone else’s bitch. Socially wise, that’s what Asian men have become. On the other hand, Asian women have value in this country and thus, have leverage. They face sexism but since we’re talking about the dating world, that doesn’t come into effect. They have the option to choose between both Asian and white men. Why would one just sit around and eat from one plate when you can pig out and eat from two? If the chicken tastes bad, they can opt for the fish.
I’ve always wondered why so many Asian women extol the stories and portrayals of Asian women with white men as something inherently good. Much against my better judgment, I’ve supported Asian women’s magazines and books only to discover that almost all of them have both overt and subtle fantasies about white men. Don’t take my word for it. Browse through a book called “China Dolls” by two Asian American women. Or, browse through the internet magazine “Asiance.” I was shocked to discover that most of the pictures on that website employed white men with Asian women. When I took African American studies courses in college as an elective, I’ve noticed that almost all of the books written by black women revolved around black men. Unless the topic was specifically about interracial dating, all of their fantasy men were black.
This is why it’s in the Asian woman’s best interest to keep the Asian man in her back pocket. If white men don’t turn out to be what they want, they always have an Asian man on the back burner. The last thing Asian women want is for the social value and worth of Asian men to increase. If the Asian male’s value and worth increases, other non-Asian women will take notice but by then, Asian men have options as well and don’t have to be exclusive with Asian women. The inverse takes effect; the Asian woman’s leverage has decreased much like a bond’s relation in price and yield.
In essence, non-Asian women would be grabbing food from the pile that’s already in front of the Asian woman. The more food being taken away from Asian women, the more limited her choices are. If this happens at a steady pace, Asian women would start to run into panic mode.
I’ve started to notice that already. I’m not a conceited asshole so I’m not going to use myself as an example. However, my cousins are great examples. My cousins and I are of Taiwanese extraction and they are any parents’ wet dream. Unfortunately, they all belong to the five stereotypical Asian professions (Finance, Medical, Law, Technology, Engineer) in that three are in finance, one is in medical, and the last is in law. All are in their mid/late 20s but only one is single, one in finance. The others are tall, handsome, muscled, smart, articulate, confident, outgoing, caring, and family oriented. All of them are financially well off and want to start a family. It’s also important to note that not one of them is going out with an Asian woman; one of them is white while the others are Latin. They constantly receive dirty stares and snide comments from Asian women. Ironically, I’ve heard some Korean women state “Why are all the good Asian guys taken by white girls?”
Again, it’s simple. When Asian men gain social value, all “buyers” will take notice.
People want to take the path of least resistance and rarely want challenges. After all, why should we work harder if we don’t have to? It’s why we stereotype. It’s why we’d rather drive ten miles in an open lane on the freeway instead of five miles on a side street with congestion. It’s why we’d rather take the elevator compared to the stairs.
This brings me to Asian men. When it comes to this issue, you have two categories.
The first are the ultra liberal types that extol the virtues of letting the woman decide in the false hope that this gives off an aura of confidence and self security which might assist in them getting some trim. Not going to happen. Another aspect to note is that they’re concerned with their own selfish image that they would rather ignore someone else’s problem in the hopes that their complaints don’t rub off on themselves by proxy.
“Ewwww, dude. Stop smoking next to me. It might cause others to think that I smoke!” instead of “Dude, stop smoking. It’s unhealthy. Let’s help you stop that habit.”
The second group consists of the party type which states that since he and his friends don’t have a problem with Asian women, there really isn’t a problem at all. Coincidently, these are the same types that mistreat Asian women which causes them to criticize Asian men on a wide scale which then, in turn, causes them to ignore the good Asian men who’ve been left in the dark. Another important aspect to note is that they don’t want the resentful, otherwise great Asian men, to come out of their hole because they would offer more competition. Thus, they have a reason to keep the situation brewing to fit their own selfish ends.
To the Asian guys who feel the hurt, I hear you. You know what? Many Asian guys hear you and you have every right to feel hurt and abandoned. I used to be one of them until I found a whole new world out there waiting for me if I didn’t limit myself to the one group which threw mud in my eye. As long as you give yourself some value in this world, your options will automatically increase. It’s all about leverage. It’s time to show others that we can offer something as well. I’m not going to lie; it’s going to be very tough but we need to get started. Am I bitter? No way. Am I resentful? Yes, I am.
We all need help and both Asian women and men refuse to do squat so you’re on your own. For me, I was able to get out of the rut from a strong and sympathetic Asian man so I try my best to help other Asian men caught in the same hole.
To the Asian women I know who strongly prefer or only date Asian men (namely Jane Cho), I apologize to you. This essay wasn’t directed at you and I understand the anger you feel towards your own demographic’s apathy towards the Asian male’s perspective.
I’m not even going to bother going into the large group of Asian women that refuse to date Asian men. That group is just so worthless that they should check off “white” under the racial category and “me love you long time” under the occupation category.
Some have said that my mindset is unhealthy and damaging to the Asian American community at large. To them, I say that the situation hasn’t been resolved with the current approach so it’s time to try some fresh tactics. Your idea isn’t working so let’s try mine.
One of my co-workers, Luisa mentioned “wow, under that nice cover of financial and economic success, Asian people sure have lots of issues. It seems that Asian women are very selfish in the matter.”
No, honey. Asian people, in general, are very selfish. The fact of the matter is that among my Asian male friends and cousins, they’re starting to realize that they’ve never really been wanted and that’s the biggest turnoff ever. Even more than bad breath.
Posted on 08-Nov-07 at 7:41 pm | Permalink
Chook wrote:
Ray
I actually find posts like yours to be somewhat defeatist and hopeless. Because I grew up around non-Asians (I’m Asian) , my parents were always telling me that I MUST NOT believe the negative and racist things that they knew I would hear about myself. They also told me that most people are basically good.
This taught me to approach every situation with fresh eyes - it’s often hard to do but it’s a good way to approach life. It also taught me to not care what other people think about me - especially people I don’t know or care for.
What I’m saying is that I am responsible for how I feel about myself - regardless of what’s being said about me. If Asian men adopt an identity of the emasculated and unwanted it’s because they make a choice to do so. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t challenge stereotypes.
Additionally, being Asian doesn’t qualify you to make sweeping statements about ‘Asians….in general are…selfish”. That’s as bad as an Asian women generalizing Asian men as assholes. I don’t agree with that point at all. Most of the Asians that I know aren’t particularly selfish at all.
Posted on 09-Nov-07 at 12:14 am | Permalink
Brian wrote:
I joke about this very topic all the time because, well, it’s funny. But instead of rehashing many of the same arguments that I know we’ve all heard ad nauseam, I will just say one thing: all of the Asian guys I’ve talked to who have either dated, are dating or married to a non-Asian woman, they don’t seem to broach this subject with as much venom as the Asian guys who have never engaged in an interracial relationship. Just something I’ve noticed. These are personal friends of mine… and I’m not talking about Casanovas here; they’re more William Hung than Russell Wong, mind you.
The common thread among all these guys? They’re pretty laid back guys who roll with life’s punches. Not a whole lot of Type A, Wall Street Finance guys in this small group. One is a graphic designer, one is a writer/blogger (who’s probably reading this), another one works for director Kevin Smith, there’s a DJ, and a screenwriter/chef. They partake in activities and run in circles that force them to interact with non Asians… and guess who they end up dating?
Non Asian women aren’t throwing themselves at us, we can all agree with that. And these friends of mine will be the first to tell you there is a wall accentuating the schism. But the wall is more Tennis net than Guantanamo Bay-electro-barbwire-fence.
Posted on 09-Nov-07 at 2:01 pm | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
The better question is: do we even want Asian American women? One of my old coworkers has been trying to convince me to go on a “culture tour” to Thailand to check out the party scene, because, “Asian clubs? No fat chicks.”
Posted on 09-Nov-07 at 2:31 pm | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
What the FUCK is with the Interstitial Ads, Ernie? Jeeesssus. I know you want to monetize the site a bit, but nothing scares me more than submitting a comment, and getting redirected to Blinkx where some random video of Mitt Romney comes. *Shudder* Mormons. *Shudder*
Posted on 09-Nov-07 at 2:34 pm | Permalink
akrypti wrote:
You know, Kiwi, I’m considering Romney. Right now he’s the best candidate for President, IMO.
Posted on 09-Nov-07 at 3:05 pm | Permalink
Bertie wrote:
Romney has more flip flops than a native Hawaiian. It’s like he’s consulting a Magic 8 Ball each time he speaks.
As for Republicans, i think Ron Paul is someone to watch.
Posted on 10-Nov-07 at 8:24 am | Permalink
Ray wrote:
Eh, changing the subject as a defense mechanism but I’m not really surprised. Brushing the subject under the rug and covering our ears screaming “la la la” while ignoring the problem is so typically Asian American. Well, it was good while it lasted. I do have one last bit to say in that Asian Americans, especially women, who blow this topic off without any serious discussion are doing much more harm than any external source of racism could possibly do. I remember akrypti’s post about her sisters and how they constantly date white men but in the same breath state that Asian men should love and support their sisters. The issue is starting to generate a large amount of animosity and, well, it’s somewhat difficult for Asian men to invest in Asian women when Asian women turn around and invest in white men.
In essence, it makes sense that it’s difficult to persuade Asian men to support and love Asian women if they don’t see the same in return. I’ll invest in you if you’ll invest in me in return. The door swings both ways.
Posted on 11-Nov-07 at 11:07 am | Permalink
courageous kiwi wrote:
Don’t feel bad, Ray. I get ignored on here all the time. Though, generally speaking, I get ignored because of my overtly racist remarks against the Koreans, Vietnamese, Japanese, Indians and the Chinese, and you get ignored because your writing is GODDAMNED INCOMPREHENSIBLE.
Posted on 12-Nov-07 at 2:00 pm | Permalink
Rob wrote:
What’s wrong with his posts? I pretty much got the whole gist of it. While I don’t agree with the same exact format, Asian Americans really do need to talk about it. It seems we’re just covering up a trash fire with a paper bag. The problem will be covered for a little bit but eventually the fire will consume the bag.
What do we do then? Cover it up with a bigger bag?
That being said, what about the idea that the reason spotlight could be placed on Asian women themselves. A white friend of mine stated that the reason why white men are so confident approaching Asian women is because since they see so many of them with white men, they believe Asian women are the ones that have a fetish for them.
He also mentioned that the reason why this pairing is so popular is because Asian women and white men have a fetish for each other. How much of that is true? There seems to be a considerable amount of Asian women that want to try a white man out before they get married. Is that any worse than a white man that wants to “go Asian” at least once in his life? Have Asian women looked at this issue responsibly and honestly?
On the opposite side of the coin, while Asian women state that Asian men never approach them, could it because they’ve lost confidence due to seeing so many Asian women with white men?
Let’s post honest questions and get honest answers.
Posted on 14-Nov-07 at 10:50 am | Permalink
8Asians.com » November 2007’s Popular Posts wrote:
[...] The dating patterns of Asian women relative to other women are revealed. Apparently. [...]
Posted on 03-Dec-07 at 10:01 am | Permalink
Obi wrote:
I do have to ask whether this phenomenon is North American?
I have never encountered the questions about dating within your race. Then again there are not that many Filipinos in the U.K.
I never thought of myself as having a fetish for any particular race of women. London is muti-racial and my network of people comprise of Europeans, rather than just Brits or Flips.
Dating for me was more the case of who I met through work and they were all European.
Posted on 04-Dec-07 at 7:08 am | Permalink
Question wrote:
I laughed at the ridiculousness of this article. This so called “research” is not more than whites-ego-inflating pile of horse shit. I seriously hope Asian people are not taking this seriously. There is no wonder why whites academic never write anything disparaging or damaging to the whites status-quo. Every single “research” in to the romantic sphere paints a rosy picture of whites and disparages non-whites.
Posted on 08-Dec-07 at 11:36 pm | Permalink
Question wrote:
Please remove that picture. It’s quite annoying.
Posted on 08-Dec-07 at 11:37 pm | Permalink
cartera wrote:
I don’t think asian men have anything to worry about since women in general seem to be attracted to security and status in a man more than looks. Since many Asian men are smart, dependable and have successful careers, they should have no trouble attracting women.
Posted on 13-Dec-07 at 1:32 am | Permalink
annoyed wrote:
I just want to say that I found Ray’s post very full of hatred and sexism towards Asian women. People make decisions about who they date for a lot of reasons. Not wanting to date someone doesn’t make you “unable to empathize or sympathize with other human beings.” Give me a break. I’m a queer woman, and my girlfriend is Asian. Is she also “causing another segment of the population pain or emasculation?” Maybe if you stopped blaming and demonizing women for dating who they want (which is everyone’s RIGHT) and spent some time working on issues of racial oppression or systemic injustice instead of believing that these serious problems come from someone’s dating preference, it might be a little more productive.
Posted on 13-Dec-07 at 3:21 pm | Permalink
AG wrote:
Hi,
Seriously, Ray is on to something with his comments. I always say, if the blackman is running for thr white woman, and the white man is running to the asian woman. This leaves the Asian man and black women to any see each other available.
In short we feel better with other people!
Crazy!
Posted on 16-Dec-07 at 9:53 pm | Permalink
RRR wrote:
I’d feel more empathy for Asian-American men on this issue if more of you dated African-American women.
But if you’re going to ignore your own racism — as it contributes to reasons why that doesn’t happen more often — then you’re hardly in a tenable position to fault Asian-American women for brushing you off because they (allegedly) prefer another race of men to you.
Posted on 19-Jan-08 at 4:24 pm | Permalink
Robert wrote:
While I do agree that comment was a bit hostile, I do have to say that you’re a bit ignorant since the interracial dating patterns are caused by systemic racism that’s ingrained in North American society such as media stereotypes and general racial insecurity which is pretty prevalent in Asian Americans..
While we should focus on fixing media stereotypes to remedy the interracial dating/marriage issue, it’s not like there is no connection between institutional racism and interracial dating.
Also, while it is every person’s right to date and marry who they wish, it’s not so cut and dry. Everything Asian women do affect Asian men. Everything Asian men do affects Asian women. For example, if Asian men are treated better in the workplace because of sexism, Asian women get hurt. If Asian women outmarry at such a large rate, Asian men get hurt because it affects their self esteem and perpetuates an insecurity after being told by American society that they’re undesirable.
There is no such thing as an activity with no ramifications.
Posted on 20-Jan-08 at 8:17 pm | Permalink
Robert wrote:
Also, to RRR, it’s not that Asian men don’t want to date black women but rather Asian men solely want to date Asian women. This is why your argument doesn’t work.
Simply said, Asian women have walked right 3 steps. Asian men are still in the center. Asian men don’t want to walk in the same direction *just* because Asian women did, we want them to walk back to the center.
Posted on 20-Jan-08 at 8:19 pm | Permalink
Robert wrote:
Oh, I also forgot to add in my post to RRR, that’s less of a racial thing and more of a cultural thing.
Posted on 20-Jan-08 at 8:20 pm | Permalink
Jules wrote:
One thing I cannot stand are the ridiculous arguments or justifications Asian women give for dating/screwing/marrying outside of their ethnicity, primarily, overwhelmingly with white men.
1. I can’t date an Asian guy… it’d be like dating my brother, or father.
Holy f—ing s–t. I have never ever heard a white, black, latino, etc woman ever use that empty excuse.
2. Asian men are abusive, patriarchal and old-fashioned.
Funny how so many of them then find a white man who is abusive, patriarchal and old-fashioned.
3. Hapa (mixed Asian and White) babies are so cute, I want to have them.
They’re not so cute that White women are seeking out Asian men to have them. (Okay, this one is on the White women who ignore any non-white man)
4. Asian guys have small dicks.
Some do. But if a white guy has a small dick, you’ll still screw him.
5. Asian guys are boring, they all have the same jobs.
Some do. But if a white guy has a boring job, you’ll still screw him.
6. It’s expected of me to marry an Asian guy, I must rebel!
Aside from the few White women who go after Black men, you just do NOT see women from other races “rebelling” like Asian women.
Posted on 03-Feb-08 at 11:07 am | Permalink
Neon wrote:
I don’t think it’s the fault of Asian women. I’m an Asian women, and I just find that any man that I’m attracted to has been Caucasian. Is there anything wrong with that? If an Asian man supposedly has no woman attracted to him, because I, an Asian woman, am attracted to another man, that happens to be Caucasian, it’s not really something I can change.
I think people should stop placing the blame on some random group or such.
Posted on 14-Mar-08 at 4:57 pm | Permalink
jaykay wrote:
I’m a light skinned black guy living in UK and in a very happy long term relationship with a Japanese woman.
There are some very interesting points raised in this thread.
Personally I have a very strong physical preference for Oriental women….nothing psychological,no hidden agendas or deep seated issues here, no problems with my own identity or anything else……….they just turn me on physically……pure and simple…and I’m sure most guys if you ask them what attracted them to their wife/girlfriend…it was the way they looked….physical…pure and simple
i have no hang ups about my race, where i’m from, no hidden shame, feelings of inferiority or anything else along those lines….these often being the stupid reasons people against dating outside your ‘race’ use to ty and explain why you’d do such an unthinkable thing
I’m all for inter-racial relationships and I’m all for so called same race relationships…..whatever makes a couple happy…who cares
If I have a preference then I’d have to say inter racial relationships because it makes for an interesting and often beautiful mix if they have children but mainly because it shows that members of the current generation are willing to overcome the prejudices and outmoded and ignorant attitudes of those against such relationships.
People should be allowed to date/marry whoever they want regardless of race/religion/background and this looks to be happening increasingly…which is a good thing
so called racial identity is over rated…more importanty is to have a strong human/humane identity…regardless of your background..racial or otherwise.
Posted on 09-Jul-08 at 4:47 am | Permalink