Rattling the Cage: Nice Jewish boy, nice Asian girl

By John | Sunday, July 13, 2008 | 7 Comments

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While “Googling” for Asian American news, I came across this interesting column in the The Jerusalem Post, titled, “Rattling the Cage: Nice Jewish boy, nice Asian girl“:

“Two American Jewish sons, two Asian-American daughters-in-law (or one, going on two). Is this a coincidence? I don’t think so. The simplest reason it’s not is that both couples met at UCLA, a gigantic university loaded with Jewish and Asian students. The less simple reason is that my friend’s two sons received an old-fashioned, secular, unrich Jewish upbringing in America, and for people like them, there aren’t many American Jews of similar background and outlook to marry anymore. For people like them, there are more opportunities to find suitable spouses among Asians and other studious, hard-working, family-oriented American immigrants than there are among American Jews. THIS IS not a cautionary tale about intermarriage, not by any means; if my own two sons want to marry non-Jews when they grow up, that is 100% fine with me. What I’m writing about is how American Jewry has changed, and not for the better, but also about how there are ways, traditional and untraditional, to recapture some of the old spirit.”

One of my Jewish business school classmates commented when I posted this to Facebook, “Best article on Jews and intermarriage I’ve seen in forever – I sent that article to my whole family. Good stuff.” Some of my high school friends also discussed this article, about some of the Jewish stereotypes out there.

I wonder, do Jewish women complain as much as Asian American men about the out-dating, out-marriage of their male counterparts? I have to imagine probably not as much. Not being Jewish, I have to imagine though that physically, both Jewish men and women “blend” into the still predominate white majority more easily in the United States and that this visibility is not as much as Asian American men and women out-dating and out-marriage.

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http://www.8asians.com/author/brian/ Brian

“I wonder, do Jewish women complain as much as Asian American men about the out-dating, out-marriage of their male counterparts?”

Asian men complain about out-dating as much as Asian women complain about being “”"exoticized”"” (which is not a word) by mainstream/White America. Complaints… they ARE annoying, aren’t they?
http://www.gracethespot.com Grace Chu

Can I speak frankly about Jewish/Asian dating in the lesbian community? I have run into so many Asian girls who are actively seeking Jewish girls to date and vice versa. It’s actually become a stereotype. I’m dating a Jewish girl, and although I didn’t seek her out because she is Jewish (she actually hit on ME), it helps that she’s Jewish, because our cultures are similar in some ways. I’ve dated non-Jewish white people before, and whenever I’d talk about my hyper-involved pushy parents, they just didn’t get it – I felt that there was a weird cultural barrier where they just saw my parents as whip-cracking crazy foreign people who needed to chill out. Jewish people get it, the whole family dynamic, the same expectation to do well, etc. I have never had to explain the way I was raised to a Jewish person, and not having to explain such things is just one less issue to deal with.
http://www.xanga.com/urb4n uRB4N

It’s also interesting to note that because of the huge intermarriage rate of American Jews, they’ have a negative growth rate. I think they estimated that American Jewry will be wiped out in about 20 years.

For some, assimilation is a good thing because it blend in with the country’s customs. However, in realistic, assimilation is the process where any uniqueness is rubbed out and replaced by the dominate culture. In the Star Trek universe, the most abhorred enemy is the Borg. A group of technological aliens that assimilate others and destroy any type of uniqueness to the people being absorbed. Why is it abhorred in this case but actively promoted as a good thing in America?
I think when white America tells people to assimilate, they’re actually saying “I want to remove you from your own unique customs so I can remain the dominate force.”
http://www.8asians.com John

uRB4N – the Borg is science fiction…where resistance is futile and assimilation forced. We all have free will to choose our partners, and mass assimilation is not forced upon us. White America does not tell or force people to assimilate. There may be cultural forces in the mainstream that may encourage assimilation, but there is a difference I believe. And with immigration, there is a renewed source of heritage of recent immigrants to strengthen that ethnic identity that makes America the unique tapestry that it is instead of the assimilated melting pot that you fear.
http://www.xanga.com/urb4n uRB4N

I don’t really agree with that assessment.

There is a soft and hard way of maintaining control on a population. The forced or “Borg” method is hard control whereas “soft” control is through persuasion or giving the appearance of choice when, in reality, your choice is already chosen for you by sheer persuasion.

In my day to day dealings in the corporate world, I’ve learned to exploit soft control and it has allowed me to benefit in the form of commissions and pricing.

All I’m saying is that American (read: white) culture isn’t as innocent as we make it out to be. There’s a reason why there is a promotion of Asian women by white men when it comes to social acceptance because Asian men are a very real threat to the white privilege enjoyed by white men.

What makes me chuckle is how Asian women shun Asian men because of sexism that’s inherent to Asian culture but run to a culture that is actively suppressing their own. It’s like trading shit for crap but hey, if people want to keep taunting the “you’re just bitter” line, that’s fine by me too. There’s a reason why nothing has really changed in Asian America and it makes perfect sense.

I mean, some people don’t even know that the “colorblind” stance can be used to promote racism and discrimination.
http://www.8asians.com John

uRB4N – “..giving the appearance of choice when, in reality, your choice is already chosen for you by sheer persuasion.”

What are we living in – The Matrix??? I’m not saying American society isn’t innocent, I’m just saying that it is not as overt in its intentions as you paint it to be, even in “soft” way.
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