Excited
By Chunsoon
Sitting down in a chair the other day, a funny thing happened: I turned a year older. It got me thinking about my name. Six months earlier I’d handed over some papers and a check for two-hundred dollars; just like that I became Chun-Soon Li. So, like a blanket of snow that falls on our city, or a cool spoon pressed on the eyes, I applied a new name, though a very old name, to myself.
If I was given a name at birth, it is gone with the woman who could say it. There was a day. It was raining, that’s how I’ll tell it. On this day I wandered off from my mother, or was placed in a basket like a little yellow Moses, or left behind in one of the ways it happens, just like that. I was about a year old and didn’t know anything. She was a young woman, as I’ve always seen her, beautiful despite the day. Did she hold me one last time? Did she pray for us?
Adoption is many things. It’s commonplace, it’s a dream-come-true (for some), and it’s an efficient way to deal with a surplus of orphans. During the Korean war, transnational adoption solved the embarrassing problem of biracial offspring sired by Western soldiers. These children, thousands of them, were the scar tissue of the wounds of war, representing the double blight of mixed-race and illegitimacy (their unmarried mothers bearing the brunt of this stigma). In 1956, a zealous American named Harry Holt formed the Holt International Adoption Agency in an effort to harvest the “seed from the East” as prophesied in Isaiah 45:3. By the 1960′s, war babies were replaced by a new supply of orphans, by-products of South Korea’s brutal push to industrialise.
But I want to speak to the heart of the matter: The status of women is the status of children in society — don’t let the guys in charge tell you otherwise. In Korea, divorced women, raped women, and unwed mothers all face the same stigma of being… deeply… sullied. There is no social support system which helps them survive in Korean society, much less provide for their children. To date, there have been over 150,000 Korean children sent out-of-country as adoptees, two-thirds of them to the US. This industry nets Korea between fifteen to twenty million dollars per anum, which is to say that selling off your unwanted children is more lucrative than caring for them, or implementing the systemic changes that would keep families together in the first place.
In the past fifteen years we’ve seen seventeen nations call an end to transnational adoption due to charges of exploitation, coercion of birth mothers, abduction and child trafficking. This contrasts sharply against the shining picture of an integrated American family with Asian kids, which is the image in the Holt catalogs. When children are sent out-of-country, they are sent West. They are sent to white families who Mean Well. And they are given new names.
People have always had their own names for me: Mary, Mao, Pumpkin, Slowpoke. Identity, for an adoptee, is the feeling that nothing is yours by birthright. At times there is a freedom to this, an untethered-ness that is nice; mostly, though, it just feels weird. My adoptive parents saved my life, and they did it with Christian love in their hearts. They even retained my “temporary Korean name”, Chun-Soon, as my middle name. Six months ago, I reclaimed it. This one piece of my mother’s land that I do have. I chose the family name Li (Yi, Rhee, Lee)…an ordinary, commonplace name. A typical Korean name. Confucius be damned, I am now the beginning of my bloodline in this country.
So say my name, family and friends.
Say my name, chagiya, as no one else can.
Because nothing ever just happens, just like that, please say my name.
CSLi is a classically trained artist living in Brooklyn, NY, who dreams of the day when killer concubines and the meek inherit the earth. All issues which have, at heart, the struggle of the powerless to free themselves are important to her.
How does this post make you feel?
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Bored
- Sad
- Angry
NOTE: 8Asians.com is a community, and we thank you for being a part of it. While we welcome and appreciate differences in opinion, if you're rude or you're promoting spam, we have a right to edit or delete your comment. Read our comment policy for more information.
If you see a comment that violates the 8Asians.com comment policy, you may flag the comment by mousing over the comment and clicking "FLAG."
I’m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians.
I know there are significant issues that most adoptees faces at some point in her life regarding the loss of birth family. Issues which run deeper and harder to the spiritual core for some than others. I have never denied that, and how could I? The co-collision of loss and orphanage experience were manifest not only in behavior, but right down the souls of my own daughters---from the moment they were handed to me, separately and some years apart. It would seem so obvious, (and it is, to those who have adopted older orphanage children) ---that I thought for sure, it would need no further explanation ( inference or interference) from Chun-Soon Li or her supporters. Not true, unfortunately.
Also, I happen to believe that adoption is, and should be, a matter of last resort, and that ideally, when it it occurs, its always best if it occurs in the country and culture of the child’s birth. (I’m on record at a different post applauding the fact that more Chinese are stepping up to adopt girls).
And btw, if there are any here who, after reading Chun-Soon Li’s cynical original post might still consider international adoption----TRUST ME: YOU ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS! also, it would be one of the most enjoyable and challenging experiences of your life---memories from which fill you with joy, and poignancy. So please, do it if you can.
A reoccurring theme here is that I don’t understand the perspective of the adoptee. But Chun-soon Li, you and those supporting this HS movement seem so entirely clueless to the perspective of the offshore orphans as they exist (as opposed to thrive) in the orphanages.
And as I mentioned, it seems to take an academic to elevate all grievances (Chun-Soon Li’s personal sense of loss) to a level equal with the plight of those in the orphanages. References to Chun-Soon Li’s original post document infanticide in Korea for gender selection purposes, just as I did for China. Why that didn’t become a broader discussion, only Chun-Soon Li knows..
The institutionalized orphans (China) are the lucky ones. Think of all the others, downstream, who never make it from street abandonment into an orphanage, or who become traded, or sold, possibilities for exploitation similar to that shown in SlumdogMillionare. Fortunately, some large percentage are now being traded and sold into homes, later to become wives, in rural areas short of girls.
In international adoption China is different from most countries. There are no orphans sold into the process. Its against the law in China to abandon your children, thus they are left anonymously, perhaps with a small note. And indeed, authorities will look for the parents, and occasionally find and punish them, encouraging an even more clandestine process. The China Center for Adoption Affairs in Beijing has, in the last decade been widely recognized as the “Gold Standard” for efficient and fair placement of orphans. No children are place at the local level---Zero. So there is no chance for under-the-table graft. CCAA has a profile on every child in every sanctioned orphanage in China. And from those profiles children are matched to the profiles of perspective parents. Anyone attempting to open an unsanctioned orphanage faces serious criminal charges. There is virtually no chance of exiting China with a child who has not been adopted through the CCAA. In fact, when I’m traveling with my daughters in China, I always warn people behind me in the exit line, that we will probably be delayed, as the PRC officer checks not only visa and passports, but what seems like every provincial data base for recent baby trafficking.
Westerners, at least, don’t get to select children, or provide parameters, other than age and gender, (if you want a boy, its usually one with fairly minor physical challenges, such as cleft lip). For daughter # 2 we were successful in requesting a girl who’s first language was Mandarin, since it was the language of #1. The US State Department recognizes that what I have said here about adoption is China is factually correct.
Chun-Soon Li asks: “Kim have you ever wondered if perhaps your investment in adoption (a.k.a your gratitude toward it for your daughters) has made it difficult for you to listen to adoptee’s views that do not mirror yours?”
No, I don’t, Chun-Soon Li, because against the reality of the orphanage, logic dictates that your reality is not a consideration. Or to put it another way---its not about you, Chun-Soon Li. When western parents go to China to adopt, its only after years of preparation---and anticipation. In the final month or so, they have a picture of their child, and its amazing how you can bond with a 1” square picture, But upon arrival, there is the usual sensory overload that is China, (many experiencing it for the first time). And nothing prepares for receiving the child. With all of the ensuing joy, something else fairly quickly becomes evident. Something very similar to “survivors remorse” ---its well known, and almost universal among adopting parents, and its why many who thought they were only in the process for one child, ultimately return again. You see, Chun-Soon Li, if you meet your daughter’s orphanage friends (or partners in crime), or perhaps worse, you see, or become aware that the selection of your baby is from a sea of babies in a crowded room, you experience the humanity, the empathy and a huge sense of sorrow for leaving the others behind. The ones coming out (like you and my girls) are the lucky ones. There is an organization of Chinese adoption parents called: “Half the Sky” who return time and again to perform good works, sort of like “Habitat for Humanity”, in orphanages throughout China.
As to the orphanage, you are also possessed with an immediate sense of urgency---which is why I find support for your position so confounding: You have a supporter who knows that time is of the extreme essence in the developing young brain, yet here is this sea of babies getting material nourishment, but not developmental, and often with very limited physical contact. You have another supporter who has been through the process in Korea---in the face of these immediate, and practical needs, how can she endorse your long term, vaguely and naively considered political efforts to end adoption? To me, its immoral.
---”why would you fight to protect IA if it exists to perpetuate (by enabling) the conditions which led your girls to the orphanages in the first place?” The answer is because it doesn’t---it allows them to exist, after they have been abandoned---yes, Chun-soon Li----by their parents NOT the State---the State does everything it can to enforce parenting in China, not to pull families apart for your fantasy of greedy capitalism. And China does that where infanticide remains a threat, although as the value (including monetary value) of girls increases, hopefully that will soon be a crime of the past.
You know, Chun-Soon Li, I note that you are an artist, and trained as such. Me too. But my MFA has done nothing to train me for the reality of China. For that its taken years of work and time in China. And its been a life changer to marry into a Chinese family as well. I’m not sure how that combination works, exactly except I do think I have transformed from a liberal to a mostly conservative point of view. Before, I never cared much about the concept of extended family--I do now in China. When ever I return, I still spend all my time learning about the culture, and the Country is evolving so fast, its somewhat disorienting. But over all the years I visited China, I never once assumed that I should have a role in CHANGING China.
And that, Chun-Soon Li, is what makes you, and this HS movement so thoroughly American in my eyes. You have the audacity to take, not even a subtle---but rather, a frontal assault---think “Shock and Awe”---to Korea---seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?---that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources don’t have the option of adoption for their babies? Well now, there’s a formula for infanticide. You also want to end prostitution? You live in New York---Chun-Soon Li, ---got the prostitution problem solved there yet? As progressive as Portland is, there are still plenty of prostitutes working the streets not far from my house.
In Portland, my wife has what I consider the uncanny ability to pick ABC’s even before they speak, she can pick Native Chinese the same way. Do you suppose that when you visit Korea that you have some special currency as a Korean adoptee? Do you suppose your Asian features earn Korean cultural respect? And if the women in Korea, are as subjugated as you say, do you believe you have more political credibility, speak with more moral authority---or less? And here’s a hint: if you think its more, then you are guilty of cultural grandiosity, and attempting to impose western privilege.
When Korean adoptees assemble in Korea, of course, there are apologies all around, if its like China, and on this point I suspect it is---they are extending to you an opportunity to save face. And even if you double your numbers next time, to 1500, the elephant in the room in the minds of most Korean will still be: 1500 dissatisfied orphans out of 150,000 ---where is the other 99%?
You and the followers of this HS movement must have missed the memo: This century is the century of conservative, and in family matters, structured Confucian Asia, particularly China, not the chaotic liberal family of the west. In China, the western family model is lost. Its failed. Its over.
Neither Korea or China is interested in “empowering” single motherhood, and the chaos that brings into children’s lives. In fact, in those years when the US State Department presents its preachy “Human Rights Assessment” about China, one of the arguments China often uses in its push-back is the chaos of the American family, and how that can deny human rights to America’s children---a valid point.
My wife translates the love I have for my daughters as “big love” I think its one of the things she found appealing about me. But its not the same as “family love” implicitly linked to family obligation. And as much as my family loves and respects me, they, like most Chinese, aren't really into “big love” when it comes to family matters.
And since my family includes several Party members, let me present here an ‘advanced copy’ of social policy coming down the pike: The time of tolerance for western liberal social “missionaries” is coming to an end in China. And as that does, we also know the liberal western media is going to propagandize that as “China’s New Nationalism” New York Times: (pix of Chinese children in school uniforms---doing some organized activity): “CHINA: NATIONALISM’S NEW GRIP” Newsweek: (red cover, gold lettering, a line of several identical Chinese solders braced at attention against the red background): CHINA’S NEW NATIONALISM: A THREAT TO THE US?” --you can take this to the bank...
And that brings me to Chun-soon Li’s impeccably crafted piece of propaganda. So perfect that only I object, apparently---(and yes, I most certainly am considering that its just me---not her, or her supporters---one reason for bailing out of 8Asians). I’ll be blunt. Its my opinion that Chun-Soon Li is using her adoptee victim status as a marketing tool for her artistic career. From personal experience, I know how hard it can be in places like L.A. and New York to get recognized as an artist, and particularly, a SERIOUS artist dealing with serious matters: “the struggle of the powerless to free themselves” And her victimhood serves both as her shtick, and her certification of validity.
Before I sign off, I would be remiss if I didn’t give one big ‘shout out’ to Atlasien---without who’s comic relief here, this might have been a whole lot more serious.
I’m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians.
I know there are significant issues that most adoptees faces at some point in her life regarding the loss of birth family. Issues which run deeper and harder to the spiritual core for some than others. I have never denied that, and how could I? The co-collision of loss and orphanage experience were manifest not only in behavior, but right down the souls of my own daughters---from the moment they were handed to me, separately and some years apart. It would seem so obvious, (and it is, to those who have adopted older orphanage children) ---that I thought for sure, it would need no further explanation ( inference or interference) from Chun-Soon Li or her supporters. Not true, unfortunately.
Also, I happen to believe that adoption is, and should be, a matter of last resort, and that ideally, when it it occurs, its always best if it occurs in the country and culture of the child’s birth. (I’m on record at a different post applauding the fact that more Chinese are stepping up to adopt girls).
And btw, if there are any here who, after reading Chun-Soon Li’s cynical original post might still consider international adoption----TRUST ME: YOU ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS! also, it would be one of the most enjoyable and challenging experiences of your life---memories from which fill you with joy, and poignancy. So please, do it if you can.
A reoccurring theme here is that I don’t understand the perspective of the adoptee. But Chun-soon Li, you and those supporting this HS movement seem so entirely clueless to the perspective of the offshore orphans as they exist (as opposed to thrive) in the orphanages.
And as I mentioned, it seems to take an academic to elevate all grievances (Chun-Soon Li’s personal sense of loss) to a level equal with the plight of those in the orphanages. References to Chun-Soon Li’s original post document infanticide in Korea for gender selection purposes, just as I did for China. Why that didn’t become a broader discussion, only Chun-Soon Li knows..
The institutionalized orphans (China) are the lucky ones. Think of all the others, downstream, who never make it from street abandonment into an orphanage, or who become traded, or sold, possibilities for exploitation similar to that shown in SlumdogMillionare. Fortunately, some large percentage are now being traded and sold into homes, later to become wives, in rural areas short of girls.
In international adoption China is different from most countries. There are no orphans sold into the process. Its against the law in China to abandon your children, thus they are left anonymously, perhaps with a small note. And indeed, authorities will look for the parents, and occasionally find and punish them, encouraging an even more clandestine process. The China Center for Adoption Affairs in Beijing has, in the last decade been widely recognized as the “Gold Standard” for efficient and fair placement of orphans. No children are place at the local level---Zero. So there is no chance for under-the-table graft. CCAA has a profile on every child in every sanctioned orphanage in China. And from those profiles children are matched to the profiles of perspective parents. Anyone attempting to open an unsanctioned orphanage faces serious criminal charges. There is virtually no chance of exiting China with a child who has not been adopted through the CCAA. In fact, when I’m traveling with my daughters in China, I always warn people behind me in the exit line, that we will probably be delayed, as the PRC officer checks not only visa and passports, but what seems like every provincial data base for recent baby trafficking.
Westerners, at least, don’t get to select children, or provide parameters, other than age and gender, (if you want a boy, its usually one with fairly minor physical challenges, such as cleft lip). For daughter # 2 we were successful in requesting a girl who’s first language was Mandarin, since it was the language of #1. The US State Department recognizes that what I have said here about adoption is China is factually correct.
Chun-Soon Li asks: “Kim have you ever wondered if perhaps your investment in adoption (a.k.a your gratitude toward it for your daughters) has made it difficult for you to listen to adoptee’s views that do not mirror yours?”
No, I don’t, Chun-Soon Li, because against the reality of the orphanage, logic dictates that your reality is not a consideration. Or to put it another way---its not about you, Chun-Soon Li. When western parents go to China to adopt, its only after years of preparation---and anticipation. In the final month or so, they have a picture of their child, and its amazing how you can bond with a 1” square picture, But upon arrival, there is the usual sensory overload that is China, (many experiencing it for the first time). And nothing prepares for receiving the child. With all of the ensuing joy, something else fairly quickly becomes evident. Something very similar to “survivors remorse” ---its well known, and almost universal among adopting parents, and its why many who thought they were only in the process for one child, ultimately return again. You see, Chun-Soon Li, if you meet your daughter’s orphanage friends (or partners in crime), or perhaps worse, you see, or become aware that the selection of your baby is from a sea of babies in a crowded room, you experience the humanity, the empathy and a huge sense of sorrow for leaving the others behind. The ones coming out (like you and my girls) are the lucky ones. There is an organization of Chinese adoption parents called: “Half the Sky” who return time and again to perform good works, sort of like “Habitat for Humanity”, in orphanages throughout China.
As to the orphanage, you are also possessed with an immediate sense of urgency---which is why I find support for your position so confounding: You have a supporter who knows that time is of the extreme essence in the developing young brain, yet here is this sea of babies getting material nourishment, but not developmental, and often with very limited physical contact. You have another supporter who has been through the process in Korea---in the face of these immediate, and practical needs, how can she endorse your long term, vaguely and naively considered political efforts to end adoption? To me, its immoral.
---”why would you fight to protect IA if it exists to perpetuate (by enabling) the conditions which led your girls to the orphanages in the first place?” The answer is because it doesn’t---it allows them to exist, after they have been abandoned---yes, Chun-soon Li----by their parents NOT the State---the State does everything it can to enforce parenting in China, not to pull families apart for your fantasy of greedy capitalism. And China does that where infanticide remains a threat, although as the value (including monetary value) of girls increases, hopefully that will soon be a crime of the past.
You know, Chun-Soon Li, I note that you are an artist, and trained as such. Me too. But my MFA has done nothing to train me for the reality of China. For that its taken years of work and time in China. And its been a life changer to marry into a Chinese family as well. I’m not sure how that combination works, exactly except I do think I have transformed from a liberal to a mostly conservative point of view. Before, I never cared much about the concept of extended family--I do now in China. When ever I return, I still spend all my time learning about the culture, and the Country is evolving so fast, its somewhat disorienting. But over all the years I visited China, I never once assumed that I should have a role in CHANGING China.
And that, Chun-Soon Li, is what makes you, and this HS movement so thoroughly American in my eyes. You have the audacity to take, not even a subtle---but rather, a frontal assault---think “Shock and Awe”---to Korea---seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?---that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources don’t have the option of adoption for their babies? Well now, there’s a formula for infanticide. You also want to end prostitution? You live in New York---Chun-Soon Li, ---got the prostitution problem solved there yet? As progressive as Portland is, there are still plenty of prostitutes working the streets not far from my house.
In Portland, my wife has what I consider the uncanny ability to pick ABC’s even before they speak, she can pick Native Chinese the same way. Do you suppose that when you visit Korea that you have some special currency as a Korean adoptee? Do you suppose your Asian features earn Korean cultural respect? And if the women in Korea, are as subjugated as you say, do you believe you have more political credibility, speak with more moral authority---or less? And here’s a hint: if you think its more, then you are guilty of cultural grandiosity, and attempting to impose western privilege.
When Korean adoptees assemble in Korea, of course, there are apologies all around, if its like China, and on this point I suspect it is---they are extending to you an opportunity to save face. And even if you double your numbers next time, to 1500, the elephant in the room in the minds of most Korean will still be: 1500 dissatisfied orphans out of 150,000 ---where is the other 99%?
You and the followers of this HS movement must have missed the memo: This century is the century of conservative, and in family matters, structured Confucian Asia, particularly China, not the chaotic liberal family of the west. In China, the western family model is lost. Its failed. Its over.
Neither Korea or China is interested in “empowering” single motherhood, and the chaos that brings into children’s lives. In fact, in those years when the US State Department presents its preachy “Human Rights Assessment” about China, one of the arguments China often uses in its push-back is the chaos of the American family, and how that can deny human rights to America’s children---a valid point.
My wife translates the love I have for my daughters as “big love” I think its one of the things she found appealing about me. But its not the same as “family love” implicitly linked to family obligation. And as much as my family loves and respects me, they, like most Chinese, aren't really into “big love” when it comes to family matters.
And since my family includes several Party members, let me present here an ‘advanced copy’ of social policy coming down the pike: The time of tolerance for western liberal social “missionaries” is coming to an end in China. And as that does, we also know the liberal western media is going to propagandize that as “China’s New Nationalism” New York Times: (pix of Chinese children in school uniforms---doing some organized activity): “CHINA: NATIONALISM’S NEW GRIP” Newsweek: (red cover, gold lettering, a line of several identical Chinese solders braced at attention against the red background): CHINA’S NEW NATIONALISM: A THREAT TO THE US?” --you can take this to the bank...
And that brings me to Chun-soon Li’s impeccably crafted piece of propaganda. So perfect that only I object, apparently---(and yes, I most certainly am considering that its just me---not her, or her supporters---one reason for bailing out of 8Asians). I’ll be blunt. Its my opinion that Chun-Soon Li is using her adoptee victim status as a marketing tool for her artistic career. From personal experience, I know how hard it can be in places like L.A. and New York to get recognized as an artist, and particularly, a SERIOUS artist dealing with serious matters: “the struggle of the powerless to free themselves” And her victimhood serves both as her shtick, and her certification of validity.
Before I sign off, I would be remiss if I didn’t give one big ‘shout out’ to Atlasien---without who’s comic relief here, this might have been a whole lot more serious.
@Paula ---
"As a fellow Korean adoptee as well as an AP of a son born in Korea, I am so happy to see yet another adoptee speaking her truth.'
Kind words indeed, Paula, but did you miss the political message that is central to Chun-Soon Li's Post? maybe you didn't read all her references: "Push to industrialize" Adoption from South Korea: Isn't 50 years ENOUGH?---
Are you sure she approves of your adopted son? Maybe its ok if he's just the last one... (I've got mine too---from China)
@Paula ---
"As a fellow Korean adoptee as well as an AP of a son born in Korea, I am so happy to see yet another adoptee speaking her truth.'
Kind words indeed, Paula, but did you miss the political message that is central to Chun-Soon Li's Post? maybe you didn't read all her references: "Push to industrialize" Adoption from South Korea: Isn't 50 years ENOUGH?---
Are you sure she approves of your adopted son? Maybe its ok if he's just the last one... (I've got mine too---from China)
@CSLi Well done! I was very impressed with your thoughtful response to "Kim". We've been silenced for two and half generations because of mindsets like Kim's. It's time for us to take our rightful place in the reconstruction of the Adoption machine.
@CSLi Well done! I was very impressed with your thoughtful response to "Kim". We've been silenced for two and half generations because of mindsets like Kim's. It's time for us to take our rightful place in the reconstruction of the Adoption machine.
Great post. Very thought-provoking. Now that you've changed your name, what will you do to change the way things are?
Chun-Soon
Congratulations on YOUR decision to change your legal name! I think that as KADs we may share common threads, but equally important is our ability to have our own sense of self. Adoption experiences cannot always be lumped together, because we are individuals. No matter who says it to you, realize that you ALONE have the ability and the right to make decisions, which you feel are best for you. In turn, those who are not threatened or intimidated by you or your actions, will fully support you. Experience has shown me, no matter where you are (workplace, family, public places, etc), if someone is rude, belligerent or abusive, it is highly likely it is NOT about you, but rather that person and their own insecurities. You can only control what you do in life, and cannot control other people's responses. Kudos to you for taking a step towards your own personal healing! I wish you much continued peace and understanding throughout your journey!
Chun-Soon
Congratulations on YOUR decision to change your legal name! I think that as KADs we may share common threads, but equally important is our ability to have our own sense of self. Adoption experiences cannot always be lumped together, because we are individuals. No matter who says it to you, realize that you ALONE have the ability and the right to make decisions, which you feel are best for you. In turn, those who are not threatened or intimidated by you or your actions, will fully support you. Experience has shown me, no matter where you are (workplace, family, public places, etc), if someone is rude, belligerent or abusive, it is highly likely it is NOT about you, but rather that person and their own insecurities. You can only control what you do in life, and cannot control other people's responses. Kudos to you for taking a step towards your own personal healing! I wish you much continued peace and understanding throughout your journey!
I am late getting this but I did want to applaud your courage, Chun-Soon Li to take care of yourself. You ARE Korean, and I am highly offended by the person who said you came over with nothing but your genetics, as if that means you are not "real." Who you are is not something you can wash off. My daughter is Chinese and she is growing up here in the US in a close knit Chinese community. She spends at least 2 hrs most days of the week with Chinese people and on the weekends almost all day. She gets the food, language, customs, discipline, dance. Yes, my daughter misses her birth parents and has a lot of angst about that (just like any adoptee would- it is a HUGE loss), but to say she cannot grow up Chinese because she was adopted? That is insane. I am glad you are embracing your heritage! Who has a right to tell you how you should keep and nurture your own culture in yourself. No one. Good for you!
I am late getting this but I did want to applaud your courage, Chun-Soon Li to take care of yourself. You ARE Korean, and I am highly offended by the person who said you came over with nothing but your genetics, as if that means you are not "real." Who you are is not something you can wash off. My daughter is Chinese and she is growing up here in the US in a close knit Chinese community. She spends at least 2 hrs most days of the week with Chinese people and on the weekends almost all day. She gets the food, language, customs, discipline, dance. Yes, my daughter misses her birth parents and has a lot of angst about that (just like any adoptee would- it is a HUGE loss), but to say she cannot grow up Chinese because she was adopted? That is insane. I am glad you are embracing your heritage! Who has a right to tell you how you should keep and nurture your own culture in yourself. No one. Good for you!
Kim - I don't know whether you are still reading.
I do not agree with your assessment of Chun Soon-li's writing here. But I am interested to see your other comments. You mention that you are "on record" here and there. Please could you post a link or way of searching for these? I am interested in your perspective as spouse of a Chinese person and adoptive parent to a Chinese child. Perhaps there is more common ground than would be thought from the interactions here. If you do not want to post maybe you can create a temporary gmail or yahoo mail account then post that here. Here is mine -- LLLoritemporary gmail dot com
I think there is value in hearing all sides.
Kim - I don't know whether you are still reading.
I do not agree with your assessment of Chun Soon-li's writing here. But I am interested to see your other comments. You mention that you are "on record" here and there. Please could you post a link or way of searching for these? I am interested in your perspective as spouse of a Chinese person and adoptive parent to a Chinese child. Perhaps there is more common ground than would be thought from the interactions here. If you do not want to post maybe you can create a temporary gmail or yahoo mail account then post that here. Here is mine -- LLLoritemporary gmail dot com
I think there is value in hearing all sides.
I wanted to follow up a bit from my previous comment. There's also family/social pressure along with the many other reasons I listed which affect topics such as this one. However the family/social pressure factor is pretty much a handful itself. There's already so many things to worry about and do, let alone self-identity crisis, which is just as important.
IMHO, I'm not too fond of people using the statements of how things were a lot worst before or it could have been worst...like don't use it too casually. Sort of how our elders nag how the younger people have it so much better than before, more food to eat, luxury,better opportunities, education, etc. That is definantly true and we, the descendents should offer gratitude for the forbearers who pave such a path. However, I'm afraid if these quotes or statements gets thrown around too much, it sort of loses its meaning. People become a bit turn off when nagged too much. Every generation has it's own unique challenges. There's little need to push such statements on the young, unless there is an real lesson involved. It might end up limiting their potential rather than actualizing it. This is just a suggestion.
However, it would be the best to let parents/family (adopted or not)raise their kids in whatever they know best. There's no business for outsiders to interfere and most people understand the need for this boundary.
I wanted to follow up a bit from my previous comment. There's also family/social pressure along with the many other reasons I listed which affect topics such as this one. However the family/social pressure factor is pretty much a handful itself. There's already so many things to worry about and do, let alone self-identity crisis, which is just as important.
IMHO, I'm not too fond of people using the statements of how things were a lot worst before or it could have been worst...like don't use it too casually. Sort of how our elders nag how the younger people have it so much better than before, more food to eat, luxury,better opportunities, education, etc. That is definantly true and we, the descendents should offer gratitude for the forbearers who pave such a path. However, I'm afraid if these quotes or statements gets thrown around too much, it sort of loses its meaning. People become a bit turn off when nagged too much. Every generation has it's own unique challenges. There's little need to push such statements on the young, unless there is an real lesson involved. It might end up limiting their potential rather than actualizing it. This is just a suggestion.
However, it would be the best to let parents/family (adopted or not)raise their kids in whatever they know best. There's no business for outsiders to interfere and most people understand the need for this boundary.
After reading these comments, I had no idea it would have escalated in such a manner. As much as a lot other commentators hate it, I personally hope Kim can come back and contribute some of his knowledge to this website...a lot of it is very informative and credible. Maybe in this particular topic, it went a bit too personal and produce some feelings of misunderstanding.
I don't know much and still have a hard time understanding adoptees or adoptive parents, despite interacting with people of that background for some time. I'm aware that the love is there, the confusion is there, the struggles and warmth are there too...and this applies beyond race,ethnicity,culture, nationality,etc.
I don't know how many people believe in religious/spirituality matters, but according to some beliefs, names do have a metaphysical properties/almost superstitious elements to them. The reason why I brought that up is that this story, whatever the real reason(s) may be, reminds me of stories I heard where individuals who also made their journey of self-discovery and "reverted" back to their supposed original identity. It also involved adoptees or adults who discovered they were adopted, thought something was missing and made that journey. Some went ahead to change their names and even demographic identity. According to some beliefs, the birth mother leaves an enternal mark on the soul of her offspring due to the need to carry that child for a period of time. The mother's identity will always be embedded in the child's conscience.
Of course, whatever you all want to believe is up to the individuals. A rational viewpoint is that American society has a lot of work to do in terms of demographic issues. Every society does in some way. The desire to find your roots (even if it's a bit too rosy for reality) is quite strong for many people in this constantly changing environment with a realitively short history. Provides a sense of security for some. Added with another strong urge to feel special and create a "name" for oneself. Then there's the issue how some feel that their outsiders in their own homes. Feeling lonely even with many people around. So many factors along with whatever personal issues unique to the individual's life.
Overall, a lot to think about and thanks for Chun-soon Li and all the other adoptees, adoptive parents and other commentators for such an interesting topic.
After reading these comments, I had no idea it would have escalated in such a manner. As much as a lot other commentators hate it, I personally hope Kim can come back and contribute some of his knowledge to this website...a lot of it is very informative and credible. Maybe in this particular topic, it went a bit too personal and produce some feelings of misunderstanding.
I don't know much and still have a hard time understanding adoptees or adoptive parents, despite interacting with people of that background for some time. I'm aware that the love is there, the confusion is there, the struggles and warmth are there too...and this applies beyond race,ethnicity,culture, nationality,etc.
I don't know how many people believe in religious/spirituality matters, but according to some beliefs, names do have a metaphysical properties/almost superstitious elements to them. The reason why I brought that up is that this story, whatever the real reason(s) may be, reminds me of stories I heard where individuals who also made their journey of self-discovery and "reverted" back to their supposed original identity. It also involved adoptees or adults who discovered they were adopted, thought something was missing and made that journey. Some went ahead to change their names and even demographic identity. According to some beliefs, the birth mother leaves an enternal mark on the soul of her offspring due to the need to carry that child for a period of time. The mother's identity will always be embedded in the child's conscience.
Of course, whatever you all want to believe is up to the individuals. A rational viewpoint is that American society has a lot of work to do in terms of demographic issues. Every society does in some way. The desire to find your roots (even if it's a bit too rosy for reality) is quite strong for many people in this constantly changing environment with a realitively short history. Provides a sense of security for some. Added with another strong urge to feel special and create a "name" for oneself. Then there's the issue how some feel that their outsiders in their own homes. Feeling lonely even with many people around. So many factors along with whatever personal issues unique to the individual's life.
Overall, a lot to think about and thanks for Chun-soon Li and all the other adoptees, adoptive parents and other commentators for such an interesting topic.
http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?ai...
If you have not stumbled across this article already--it was just posted on April 1, a few days ago. It discusses the unique financial, social, and political issues alluded to in this forum, that single/unwed mothers face in Korea.
http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?ai...
If you have not stumbled across this article already--it was just posted on April 1, a few days ago. It discusses the unique financial, social, and political issues alluded to in this forum, that single/unwed mothers face in Korea.
Chun-Soon Li,
Thank you for sharing your honest unedited feelings with the world. I am the adoptive mother to a daughter born in China - at 4 1/2 I can already tell how hard growing up away from where she was born is going to be for her. She asks constantly of her first parents - she asks to meet them and when I tell her I don't know who they are she says I should ask them their names. SHE asked to learn to speak Chinese. She longs to keep her heritage a part of her.
I have a HUGE job ahead to help her to feel whole. Reading your feelings as well as those of other adoptees will only assist me. THANK YOU!
Chun-Soon Li,
Thank you for sharing your honest unedited feelings with the world. I am the adoptive mother to a daughter born in China - at 4 1/2 I can already tell how hard growing up away from where she was born is going to be for her. She asks constantly of her first parents - she asks to meet them and when I tell her I don't know who they are she says I should ask them their names. SHE asked to learn to speak Chinese. She longs to keep her heritage a part of her.
I have a HUGE job ahead to help her to feel whole. Reading your feelings as well as those of other adoptees will only assist me. THANK YOU!
"Who is responsible for sending me away? Who decided I should leave my home, China? Orphan or not, it was not their right.u00e2u0080u009d
Without saying this the wrong way, I really look forward to the day that your child might start blogging, because that statement is brilliant.
"Who is responsible for sending me away? Who decided I should leave my home, China? Orphan or not, it was not their right.u00e2u0080u009d
Without saying this the wrong way, I really look forward to the day that your child might start blogging, because that statement is brilliant.
Congratulations on your name change- thank you for sharing it with us.
I anticipate one of my dd's deciding to do this someday. We discuss it with our kids often in the hope that they will feel comfortable to use either of their names and have confidence that we would support their choice.
Choosing how to handle naming my dd's was like navigating a minefield. They each came with unique challenges that our not mine to share. We had chosen names for our first child, fifteen years prior to our first adoption. We felt that naming our dd anything else would be to treat her as "less than" our daughter. We named her that silly romantic name we chose as teenage sweethearts to embrace her, it was our promise to her.
We could never have imagined where the journey parenting her would take us. No amount of education and reading prepared me for the things this child would teach me. I could not have predicted how it would spin us on our ear and give us an entirely different view of adoption.
If her eight year old self had a blog to post on , today she'd say- "Who is responsible for sending me away? Who decided I should leave my home, China? Orphan or not, it was not their right."
If anyone is looking for gratitude out of my kids, they're gonna be disappointed.
Congratulations on your name change- thank you for sharing it with us.
I anticipate one of my dd's deciding to do this someday. We discuss it with our kids often in the hope that they will feel comfortable to use either of their names and have confidence that we would support their choice.
Choosing how to handle naming my dd's was like navigating a minefield. They each came with unique challenges that our not mine to share. We had chosen names for our first child, fifteen years prior to our first adoption. We felt that naming our dd anything else would be to treat her as "less than" our daughter. We named her that silly romantic name we chose as teenage sweethearts to embrace her, it was our promise to her.
We could never have imagined where the journey parenting her would take us. No amount of education and reading prepared me for the things this child would teach me. I could not have predicted how it would spin us on our ear and give us an entirely different view of adoption.
If her eight year old self had a blog to post on , today she'd say- "Who is responsible for sending me away? Who decided I should leave my home, China? Orphan or not, it was not their right."
If anyone is looking for gratitude out of my kids, they're gonna be disappointed.
My observation: Chun-Soon Li has knowledge and humility. Kim is uncouth and mean-spirited. It's pretty clear who has elevated the discussion and who has degraded himself to the gutter.
Chun-Soon, keep your head held high: you've become a shining voice for the once-voiceless.
But beware, there will be people like Kim crawling around the proverbial woodwork, so make sure your armor has Teflon.
One Love!
My observation: Chun-Soon Li has knowledge and humility. Kim is uncouth and mean-spirited. It's pretty clear who has elevated the discussion and who has degraded himself to the gutter.
Chun-Soon, keep your head held high: you've become a shining voice for the once-voiceless.
But beware, there will be people like Kim crawling around the proverbial woodwork, so make sure your armor has Teflon.
One Love!
As we say down here in Georgia, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
As we say down here in Georgia, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
... others may simply go wash that little bit of throw up out of their mouths.
... others may simply go wash that little bit of throw up out of their mouths.
Kim.....
"Iu00e2u0080u0099m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians."
Some may just laugh.
Kim.....
"Iu00e2u0080u0099m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians."
Some may just laugh.
Kim-
We thank you for making this your last post. Clearly the voices of the adult adoptees in this forum mean nothing to you. Like so many of us, Chun Soon and I are merely trying to make sense of the last 30+ years of our lives. We have not had the benefit of hearing from those who came before and are just now coming to terms with our realities. The only voices we have heard over the last 50 years has been from APs. It is now our turn to speak, like it or not.
Kim-
We thank you for making this your last post. Clearly the voices of the adult adoptees in this forum mean nothing to you. Like so many of us, Chun Soon and I are merely trying to make sense of the last 30+ years of our lives. We have not had the benefit of hearing from those who came before and are just now coming to terms with our realities. The only voices we have heard over the last 50 years has been from APs. It is now our turn to speak, like it or not.
"You have the audacity to take, not even a subtleu00e2u0080u0094but rather, a frontal assaultu00e2u0080u0094think u00e2u0080u009cShock and Aweu00e2u0080u009du00e2u0080u0094to Koreau00e2u0080u0094seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?u00e2u0080u0094that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources donu00e2u0080u0099t have the option of adoption for their babies?"
Actually, there ARE Korean adoptees attempting to change that and formulate social services and support centres for stigmatized women in Korea.
See here: http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/
"You have the audacity to take, not even a subtleu00e2u0080u0094but rather, a frontal assaultu00e2u0080u0094think u00e2u0080u009cShock and Aweu00e2u0080u009du00e2u0080u0094to Koreau00e2u0080u0094seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?u00e2u0080u0094that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources donu00e2u0080u0099t have the option of adoption for their babies?"
Actually, there ARE Korean adoptees attempting to change that and formulate social services and support centres for stigmatized women in Korea.
See here: http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/
Iu00e2u0080u0099m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians.
I know there are significant issues that most adoptees faces at some point in her life regarding the loss of birth family. Issues which run deeper and harder to the spiritual core for some than others. I have never denied that, and how could I? The co-collision of loss and orphanage experience were manifest not only in behavior, but right down the souls of my own daughters---from the moment they were handed to me, separately and some years apart. It would seem so obvious, (and it is, to those who have adopted older orphanage children) ---that I thought for sure, it would need no further explanation ( inference or interference) from Chun-Soon Li or her supporters. Not true, unfortunately.
Also, I happen to believe that adoption is, and should be, a matter of last resort, and that ideally, when it it occurs, its always best if it occurs in the country and culture of the childu00e2u0080u0099s birth. (Iu00e2u0080u0099m on record at a different post applauding the fact that more Chinese are stepping up to adopt girls).
And btw, if there are any here who, after reading Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s cynical original post might still consider international adoption----TRUST ME: YOU ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS! also, it would be one of the most enjoyable and challenging experiences of your life---memories from which fill you with joy, and poignancy. So please, do it if you can.
A reoccurring theme here is that I donu00e2u0080u0099t understand the perspective of the adoptee. But Chun-soon Li, you and those supporting this HS movement seem so entirely clueless to the perspective of the offshore orphans as they exist (as opposed to thrive) in the orphanages.
And as I mentioned, it seems to take an academic to elevate all grievances (Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s personal sense of loss) to a level equal with the plight of those in the orphanages. References to Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s original post document infanticide in Korea for gender selection purposes, just as I did for China. Why that didnu00e2u0080u0099t become a broader discussion, only Chun-Soon Li knows..
The institutionalized orphans (China) are the lucky ones. Think of all the others, downstream, who never make it from street abandonment into an orphanage, or who become traded, or sold, possibilities for exploitation similar to that shown in SlumdogMillionare. Fortunately, some large percentage are now being traded and sold into homes, later to become wives, in rural areas short of girls.
In international adoption China is different from most countries. There are no orphans sold into the process. Its against the law in China to abandon your children, thus they are left anonymously, perhaps with a small note. And indeed, authorities will look for the parents, and occasionally find and punish them, encouraging an even more clandestine process. The China Center for Adoption Affairs in Beijing has, in the last decade been widely recognized as the u00e2u0080u009cGold Standardu00e2u0080u009d for efficient and fair placement of orphans. No children are place at the local level---Zero. So there is no chance for under-the-table graft. CCAA has a profile on every child in every sanctioned orphanage in China. And from those profiles children are matched to the profiles of perspective parents. Anyone attempting to open an unsanctioned orphanage faces serious criminal charges. There is virtually no chance of exiting China with a child who has not been adopted through the CCAA. In fact, when Iu00e2u0080u0099m traveling with my daughters in China, I always warn people behind me in the exit line, that we will probably be delayed, as the PRC officer checks not only visa and passports, but what seems like every provincial data base for recent baby trafficking.
Westerners, at least, donu00e2u0080u0099t get to select children, or provide parameters, other than age and gender, (if you want a boy, its usually one with fairly minor physical challenges, such as cleft lip). For daughter # 2 we were successful in requesting a girl whou00e2u0080u0099s first language was Mandarin, since it was the language of #1. The US State Department recognizes that what I have said here about adoption is China is factually correct.
Chun-Soon Li asks: u00e2u0080u009cKim have you ever wondered if perhaps your investment in adoption (a.k.a your gratitude toward it for your daughters) has made it difficult for you to listen to adopteeu00e2u0080u0099s views that do not mirror yours?u00e2u0080u009d
No, I donu00e2u0080u0099t, Chun-Soon Li, because against the reality of the orphanage, logic dictates that your reality is not a consideration. Or to put it another way---its not about you, Chun-Soon Li. When western parents go to China to adopt, its only after years of preparation---and anticipation. In the final month or so, they have a picture of their child, and its amazing how you can bond with a 1u00e2u0080u009d square picture, But upon arrival, there is the usual sensory overload that is China, (many experiencing it for the first time). And nothing prepares for receiving the child. With all of the ensuing joy, something else fairly quickly becomes evident. Something very similar to u00e2u0080u009csurvivors remorseu00e2u0080u009d ---its well known, and almost universal among adopting parents, and its why many who thought they were only in the process for one child, ultimately return again. You see, Chun-Soon Li, if you meet your daughteru00e2u0080u0099s orphanage friends (or partners in crime), or perhaps worse, you see, or become aware that the selection of your baby is from a sea of babies in a crowded room, you experience the humanity, the empathy and a huge sense of sorrow for leaving the others behind. The ones coming out (like you and my girls) are the lucky ones. There is an organization of Chinese adoption parents called: u00e2u0080u009cHalf the Skyu00e2u0080u009d who return time and again to perform good works, sort of like u00e2u0080u009cHabitat for Humanityu00e2u0080u009d, in orphanages throughout China.
As to the orphanage, you are also possessed with an immediate sense of urgency---which is why I find support for your position so confounding: You have a supporter who knows that time is of the extreme essence in the developing young brain, yet here is this sea of babies getting material nourishment, but not developmental, and often with very limited physical contact. You have another supporter who has been through the process in Korea---in the face of these immediate, and practical needs, how can she endorse your long term, vaguely and naively considered political efforts to end adoption? To me, its immoral.
---u00e2u0080u009dwhy would you fight to protect IA if it exists to perpetuate (by enabling) the conditions which led your girls to the orphanages in the first place?u00e2u0080u009d The answer is because it doesnu00e2u0080u0099t---it allows them to exist, after they have been abandoned---yes, Chun-soon Li----by their parents NOT the State---the State does everything it can to enforce parenting in China, not to pull families apart for your fantasy of greedy capitalism. And China does that where infanticide remains a threat, although as the value (including monetary value) of girls increases, hopefully that will soon be a crime of the past.
You know, Chun-Soon Li, I note that you are an artist, and trained as such. Me too. But my MFA has done nothing to train me for the reality of China. For that its taken years of work and time in China. And its been a life changer to marry into a Chinese family as well. Iu00e2u0080u0099m not sure how that combination works, exactly except I do think I have transformed from a liberal to a mostly conservative point of view. Before, I never cared much about the concept of extended family--I do now in China. When ever I return, I still spend all my time learning about the culture, and the Country is evolving so fast, its somewhat disorienting. But over all the years I visited China, I never once assumed that I should have a role in CHANGING China.
And that, Chun-Soon Li, is what makes you, and this HS movement so thoroughly American in my eyes. You have the audacity to take, not even a subtle---but rather, a frontal assault---think u00e2u0080u009cShock and Aweu00e2u0080u009d---to Korea---seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?---that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources donu00e2u0080u0099t have the option of adoption for their babies? Well now, thereu00e2u0080u0099s a formula for infanticide. You also want to end prostitution? You live in New York---Chun-Soon Li, ---got the prostitution problem solved there yet? As progressive as Portland is, there are still plenty of prostitutes working the streets not far from my house.
In Portland, my wife has what I consider the uncanny ability to pick ABCu00e2u0080u0099s even before they speak, she can pick Native Chinese the same way. Do you suppose that when you visit Korea that you have some special currency as a Korean adoptee? Do you suppose your Asian features earn Korean cultural respect? And if the women in Korea, are as subjugated as you say, do you believe you have more political credibility, speak with more moral authority---or less? And hereu00e2u0080u0099s a hint: if you think its more, then you are guilty of cultural grandiosity, and attempting to impose western privilege.
When Korean adoptees assemble in Korea, of course, there are apologies all around, if its like China, and on this point I suspect it is---they are extending to you an opportunity to save face. And even if you double your numbers next time, to 1500, the elephant in the room in the minds of most Korean will still be: 1500 dissatisfied orphans out of 150,000 ---where is the other 99%?
You and the followers of this HS movement must have missed the memo: This century is the century of conservative, and in family matters, structured Confucian Asia, particularly China, not the chaotic liberal family of the west. In China, the western family model is lost. Its failed. Its over.
Neither Korea or China is interested in u00e2u0080u009cempoweringu00e2u0080u009d single motherhood, and the chaos that brings into childrenu00e2u0080u0099s lives. In fact, in those years when the US State Department presents its preachy u00e2u0080u009cHuman Rights Assessmentu00e2u0080u009d about China, one of the arguments China often uses in its push-back is the chaos of the American family, and how that can deny human rights to Americau00e2u0080u0099s children---a valid point.
My wife translates the love I have for my daughters as u00e2u0080u009cbig loveu00e2u0080u009d I think its one of the things she found appealing about me. But its not the same as u00e2u0080u009cfamily loveu00e2u0080u009d implicitly linked to family obligation. And as much as my family loves and respects me, they, like most Chinese, aren't really into u00e2u0080u009cbig loveu00e2u0080u009d when it comes to family matters.
And since my family includes several Party members, let me present here an u00e2u0080u0098advanced copyu00e2u0080u0099 of social policy coming down the pike: The time of tolerance for western liberal social u00e2u0080u009cmissionariesu00e2u0080u009d is coming to an end in China. And as that does, we also know the liberal western media is going to propagandize that as u00e2u0080u009cChinau00e2u0080u0099s New Nationalismu00e2u0080u009d New York Times: (pix of Chinese children in school uniforms---doing some organized activity): u00e2u0080u009cCHINA: NATIONALISMu00e2u0080u0099S NEW GRIPu00e2u0080u009d Newsweek: (red cover, gold lettering, a line of several identical Chinese solders braced at attention against the red background): CHINAu00e2u0080u0099S NEW NATIONALISM: A THREAT TO THE US?u00e2u0080u009d --you can take this to the bank...
And that brings me to Chun-soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s impeccably crafted piece of propaganda. So perfect that only I object, apparently---(and yes, I most certainly am considering that its just me---not her, or her supporters---one reason for bailing out of 8Asians). Iu00e2u0080u0099ll be blunt. Its my opinion that Chun-Soon Li is using her adoptee victim status as a marketing tool for her artistic career. From personal experience, I know how hard it can be in places like L.A. and New York to get recognized as an artist, and particularly, a SERIOUS artist dealing with serious matters: u00e2u0080u009cthe struggle of the powerless to free themselvesu00e2u0080u009d And her victimhood serves both as her shtick, and her certification of validity.
Before I sign off, I would be remiss if I didnu00e2u0080u0099t give one big u00e2u0080u0098shout outu00e2u0080u0099 to Atlasien---without whou00e2u0080u0099s comic relief here, this might have been a whole lot more serious.
Iu00e2u0080u0099m sure that many will applaud to learn that this is my final post at 8Asians.
I know there are significant issues that most adoptees faces at some point in her life regarding the loss of birth family. Issues which run deeper and harder to the spiritual core for some than others. I have never denied that, and how could I? The co-collision of loss and orphanage experience were manifest not only in behavior, but right down the souls of my own daughters---from the moment they were handed to me, separately and some years apart. It would seem so obvious, (and it is, to those who have adopted older orphanage children) ---that I thought for sure, it would need no further explanation ( inference or interference) from Chun-Soon Li or her supporters. Not true, unfortunately.
Also, I happen to believe that adoption is, and should be, a matter of last resort, and that ideally, when it it occurs, its always best if it occurs in the country and culture of the childu00e2u0080u0099s birth. (Iu00e2u0080u0099m on record at a different post applauding the fact that more Chinese are stepping up to adopt girls).
And btw, if there are any here who, after reading Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s cynical original post might still consider international adoption----TRUST ME: YOU ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE ANGELS! also, it would be one of the most enjoyable and challenging experiences of your life---memories from which fill you with joy, and poignancy. So please, do it if you can.
A reoccurring theme here is that I donu00e2u0080u0099t understand the perspective of the adoptee. But Chun-soon Li, you and those supporting this HS movement seem so entirely clueless to the perspective of the offshore orphans as they exist (as opposed to thrive) in the orphanages.
And as I mentioned, it seems to take an academic to elevate all grievances (Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s personal sense of loss) to a level equal with the plight of those in the orphanages. References to Chun-Soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s original post document infanticide in Korea for gender selection purposes, just as I did for China. Why that didnu00e2u0080u0099t become a broader discussion, only Chun-Soon Li knows..
The institutionalized orphans (China) are the lucky ones. Think of all the others, downstream, who never make it from street abandonment into an orphanage, or who become traded, or sold, possibilities for exploitation similar to that shown in SlumdogMillionare. Fortunately, some large percentage are now being traded and sold into homes, later to become wives, in rural areas short of girls.
In international adoption China is different from most countries. There are no orphans sold into the process. Its against the law in China to abandon your children, thus they are left anonymously, perhaps with a small note. And indeed, authorities will look for the parents, and occasionally find and punish them, encouraging an even more clandestine process. The China Center for Adoption Affairs in Beijing has, in the last decade been widely recognized as the u00e2u0080u009cGold Standardu00e2u0080u009d for efficient and fair placement of orphans. No children are place at the local level---Zero. So there is no chance for under-the-table graft. CCAA has a profile on every child in every sanctioned orphanage in China. And from those profiles children are matched to the profiles of perspective parents. Anyone attempting to open an unsanctioned orphanage faces serious criminal charges. There is virtually no chance of exiting China with a child who has not been adopted through the CCAA. In fact, when Iu00e2u0080u0099m traveling with my daughters in China, I always warn people behind me in the exit line, that we will probably be delayed, as the PRC officer checks not only visa and passports, but what seems like every provincial data base for recent baby trafficking.
Westerners, at least, donu00e2u0080u0099t get to select children, or provide parameters, other than age and gender, (if you want a boy, its usually one with fairly minor physical challenges, such as cleft lip). For daughter # 2 we were successful in requesting a girl whou00e2u0080u0099s first language was Mandarin, since it was the language of #1. The US State Department recognizes that what I have said here about adoption is China is factually correct.
Chun-Soon Li asks: u00e2u0080u009cKim have you ever wondered if perhaps your investment in adoption (a.k.a your gratitude toward it for your daughters) has made it difficult for you to listen to adopteeu00e2u0080u0099s views that do not mirror yours?u00e2u0080u009d
No, I donu00e2u0080u0099t, Chun-Soon Li, because against the reality of the orphanage, logic dictates that your reality is not a consideration. Or to put it another way---its not about you, Chun-Soon Li. When western parents go to China to adopt, its only after years of preparation---and anticipation. In the final month or so, they have a picture of their child, and its amazing how you can bond with a 1u00e2u0080u009d square picture, But upon arrival, there is the usual sensory overload that is China, (many experiencing it for the first time). And nothing prepares for receiving the child. With all of the ensuing joy, something else fairly quickly becomes evident. Something very similar to u00e2u0080u009csurvivors remorseu00e2u0080u009d ---its well known, and almost universal among adopting parents, and its why many who thought they were only in the process for one child, ultimately return again. You see, Chun-Soon Li, if you meet your daughteru00e2u0080u0099s orphanage friends (or partners in crime), or perhaps worse, you see, or become aware that the selection of your baby is from a sea of babies in a crowded room, you experience the humanity, the empathy and a huge sense of sorrow for leaving the others behind. The ones coming out (like you and my girls) are the lucky ones. There is an organization of Chinese adoption parents called: u00e2u0080u009cHalf the Skyu00e2u0080u009d who return time and again to perform good works, sort of like u00e2u0080u009cHabitat for Humanityu00e2u0080u009d, in orphanages throughout China.
As to the orphanage, you are also possessed with an immediate sense of urgency---which is why I find support for your position so confounding: You have a supporter who knows that time is of the extreme essence in the developing young brain, yet here is this sea of babies getting material nourishment, but not developmental, and often with very limited physical contact. You have another supporter who has been through the process in Korea---in the face of these immediate, and practical needs, how can she endorse your long term, vaguely and naively considered political efforts to end adoption? To me, its immoral.
---u00e2u0080u009dwhy would you fight to protect IA if it exists to perpetuate (by enabling) the conditions which led your girls to the orphanages in the first place?u00e2u0080u009d The answer is because it doesnu00e2u0080u0099t---it allows them to exist, after they have been abandoned---yes, Chun-soon Li----by their parents NOT the State---the State does everything it can to enforce parenting in China, not to pull families apart for your fantasy of greedy capitalism. And China does that where infanticide remains a threat, although as the value (including monetary value) of girls increases, hopefully that will soon be a crime of the past.
You know, Chun-Soon Li, I note that you are an artist, and trained as such. Me too. But my MFA has done nothing to train me for the reality of China. For that its taken years of work and time in China. And its been a life changer to marry into a Chinese family as well. Iu00e2u0080u0099m not sure how that combination works, exactly except I do think I have transformed from a liberal to a mostly conservative point of view. Before, I never cared much about the concept of extended family--I do now in China. When ever I return, I still spend all my time learning about the culture, and the Country is evolving so fast, its somewhat disorienting. But over all the years I visited China, I never once assumed that I should have a role in CHANGING China.
And that, Chun-Soon Li, is what makes you, and this HS movement so thoroughly American in my eyes. You have the audacity to take, not even a subtle---but rather, a frontal assault---think u00e2u0080u009cShock and Aweu00e2u0080u009d---to Korea---seeking to change social policy regarding the status of women. ?---that single mothers, who may have exhusted emotional and financial resources donu00e2u0080u0099t have the option of adoption for their babies? Well now, thereu00e2u0080u0099s a formula for infanticide. You also want to end prostitution? You live in New York---Chun-Soon Li, ---got the prostitution problem solved there yet? As progressive as Portland is, there are still plenty of prostitutes working the streets not far from my house.
In Portland, my wife has what I consider the uncanny ability to pick ABCu00e2u0080u0099s even before they speak, she can pick Native Chinese the same way. Do you suppose that when you visit Korea that you have some special currency as a Korean adoptee? Do you suppose your Asian features earn Korean cultural respect? And if the women in Korea, are as subjugated as you say, do you believe you have more political credibility, speak with more moral authority---or less? And hereu00e2u0080u0099s a hint: if you think its more, then you are guilty of cultural grandiosity, and attempting to impose western privilege.
When Korean adoptees assemble in Korea, of course, there are apologies all around, if its like China, and on this point I suspect it is---they are extending to you an opportunity to save face. And even if you double your numbers next time, to 1500, the elephant in the room in the minds of most Korean will still be: 1500 dissatisfied orphans out of 150,000 ---where is the other 99%?
You and the followers of this HS movement must have missed the memo: This century is the century of conservative, and in family matters, structured Confucian Asia, particularly China, not the chaotic liberal family of the west. In China, the western family model is lost. Its failed. Its over.
Neither Korea or China is interested in u00e2u0080u009cempoweringu00e2u0080u009d single motherhood, and the chaos that brings into childrenu00e2u0080u0099s lives. In fact, in those years when the US State Department presents its preachy u00e2u0080u009cHuman Rights Assessmentu00e2u0080u009d about China, one of the arguments China often uses in its push-back is the chaos of the American family, and how that can deny human rights to Americau00e2u0080u0099s children---a valid point.
My wife translates the love I have for my daughters as u00e2u0080u009cbig loveu00e2u0080u009d I think its one of the things she found appealing about me. But its not the same as u00e2u0080u009cfamily loveu00e2u0080u009d implicitly linked to family obligation. And as much as my family loves and respects me, they, like most Chinese, aren't really into u00e2u0080u009cbig loveu00e2u0080u009d when it comes to family matters.
And since my family includes several Party members, let me present here an u00e2u0080u0098advanced copyu00e2u0080u0099 of social policy coming down the pike: The time of tolerance for western liberal social u00e2u0080u009cmissionariesu00e2u0080u009d is coming to an end in China. And as that does, we also know the liberal western media is going to propagandize that as u00e2u0080u009cChinau00e2u0080u0099s New Nationalismu00e2u0080u009d New York Times: (pix of Chinese children in school uniforms---doing some organized activity): u00e2u0080u009cCHINA: NATIONALISMu00e2u0080u0099S NEW GRIPu00e2u0080u009d Newsweek: (red cover, gold lettering, a line of several identical Chinese solders braced at attention against the red background): CHINAu00e2u0080u0099S NEW NATIONALISM: A THREAT TO THE US?u00e2u0080u009d --you can take this to the bank...
And that brings me to Chun-soon Liu00e2u0080u0099s impeccably crafted piece of propaganda. So perfect that only I object, apparently---(and yes, I most certainly am considering that its just me---not her, or her supporters---one reason for bailing out of 8Asians). Iu00e2u0080u0099ll be blunt. Its my opinion that Chun-Soon Li is using her adoptee victim status as a marketing tool for her artistic career. From personal experience, I know how hard it can be in places like L.A. and New York to get recognized as an artist, and particularly, a SERIOUS artist dealing with serious matters: u00e2u0080u009cthe struggle of the powerless to free themselvesu00e2u0080u009d And her victimhood serves both as her shtick, and her certification of validity.
Before I sign off, I would be remiss if I didnu00e2u0080u0099t give one big u00e2u0080u0098shout outu00e2u0080u0099 to Atlasien---without whou00e2u0080u0099s comic relief here, this might have been a whole lot more serious.
Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life. As an adoptive parent of two Korean sons, I place great value on what you think.
We went back and forth as to naming our sons and ended up giving them western names followed by their Korean names. This of course gives them rather long names, but I hope they will see that we mean to attempt to not obliterate their Korean identities.
Were they to decide to change their names later on I would be perfectly fine with it. I try to focus on my role as an adoptive parent and not on any expectations beyond giving them the best start that I can. I'm of the school that says children don't owe their parents anything but to make the best of their lives.
I also believe naming a person with a nickname is a privilege one can grant, but by default we should call a person what they wish.
Thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life. As an adoptive parent of two Korean sons, I place great value on what you think.
We went back and forth as to naming our sons and ended up giving them western names followed by their Korean names. This of course gives them rather long names, but I hope they will see that we mean to attempt to not obliterate their Korean identities.
Were they to decide to change their names later on I would be perfectly fine with it. I try to focus on my role as an adoptive parent and not on any expectations beyond giving them the best start that I can. I'm of the school that says children don't owe their parents anything but to make the best of their lives.
I also believe naming a person with a nickname is a privilege one can grant, but by default we should call a person what they wish.
Thank you for this post. We chose to retain our daughter's first and middle names given by the orphanage director and to add an American name at the beginning, thinking that would give her the option to use her Vietnamese name if she chooses in the future. I appreciate your taking the time to share your feelings and experiences and I pray it will make me a better parent to my daughter.
Thank you for this post. We chose to retain our daughter's first and middle names given by the orphanage director and to add an American name at the beginning, thinking that would give her the option to use her Vietnamese name if she chooses in the future. I appreciate your taking the time to share your feelings and experiences and I pray it will make me a better parent to my daughter.
http://yoonsblur.blogspot.com/2009/04/one-and-many...
Some may (or may not...smile, wink) want to check out the web address above. It addresses some of the issues being discussed in this forum. It was written independently, or in other words, without knowledge of the pertaining post by Chun Soon (deepest thanks, Chun Soon). But a fellow adoptee (thanks, Kristin!) informed me of this discussion, and that the issues being contemplated were very similar to what I had posted to my blog...And indeed they are!
Just a disclaimer, though--although I am a 33-year old (almost 34) Korean adoptee, I am relatively new to the "adoption community" itself. It is only within recent years that I have begun to ponder more deeply my own adoption experience as well as connect with other adoptees, adoptive parents, etc. ...I find forums like this and the complex issues surrounding adoption rather intimidating and overwhelming, and as of yet, still remain unresolved and open on most issues. My main hope and desire at this point is to connect with others by attempting to share my thoughts and emotions.
I have learned a great deal just by reading Chun Soon's post and the corresponding discussion. I realize I still have much to learn and contemplate!
http://yoonsblur.blogspot.com/2009/04/one-and-many...
Some may (or may not...smile, wink) want to check out the web address above. It addresses some of the issues being discussed in this forum. It was written independently, or in other words, without knowledge of the pertaining post by Chun Soon (deepest thanks, Chun Soon). But a fellow adoptee (thanks, Kristin!) informed me of this discussion, and that the issues being contemplated were very similar to what I had posted to my blog...And indeed they are!
Just a disclaimer, though--although I am a 33-year old (almost 34) Korean adoptee, I am relatively new to the "adoption community" itself. It is only within recent years that I have begun to ponder more deeply my own adoption experience as well as connect with other adoptees, adoptive parents, etc. ...I find forums like this and the complex issues surrounding adoption rather intimidating and overwhelming, and as of yet, still remain unresolved and open on most issues. My main hope and desire at this point is to connect with others by attempting to share my thoughts and emotions.
I have learned a great deal just by reading Chun Soon's post and the corresponding discussion. I realize I still have much to learn and contemplate!
CSLI wrote...
"Iu00e2u0080u0099ve thought for days about whether I want to even comment here again.......international adoption is just a band-aid that slows this process of change. Korean government: Why change our attitudes toward single moms, require deadbeat dads to support their children, or aid poor families when we can just funnel their offspring to the Western world?"
That really is an excellent point, it would seem that in the long run western adoption does not contribute to a better environment for orphans in Korea or improve attitides to single mums.
I'm glad that you decided to comment here again and hope you continue to do so. I laud your courage in being willing to continue to discuss a very personal and painful subject despite the pompous condescension of Kim's comments. Your exchanges with Kim have illustrated that for some, (hopefully a very few)who adopt Asian babies it's about self-aggrandizement more than anything. Thankfully, some have made comments here that may show that Kim is just a member of a self-righteous minority amongst white couples who adopt.
I'm not an adoptee, but my wife is. My wife is white and was adopted by a white couple, yet, she speaks of the same sense of feeling "cut-off" from something important. So, your experience as an adoptee is 100% valid and appropriate and is common across racial and cultural boundaries. Of course, being of Asian descent may complicate the issue further, but all Asians that grew up in the west may well share your feelings of being cut-off and in a sense that may make all of us "orphans".
Again, thanks for this thread and I hope you continue to post on this subject.
CSLI wrote...
"Iu00e2u0080u0099ve thought for days about whether I want to even comment here again.......international adoption is just a band-aid that slows this process of change. Korean government: Why change our attitudes toward single moms, require deadbeat dads to support their children, or aid poor families when we can just funnel their offspring to the Western world?"
That really is an excellent point, it would seem that in the long run western adoption does not contribute to a better environment for orphans in Korea or improve attitides to single mums.
I'm glad that you decided to comment here again and hope you continue to do so. I laud your courage in being willing to continue to discuss a very personal and painful subject despite the pompous condescension of Kim's comments. Your exchanges with Kim have illustrated that for some, (hopefully a very few)who adopt Asian babies it's about self-aggrandizement more than anything. Thankfully, some have made comments here that may show that Kim is just a member of a self-righteous minority amongst white couples who adopt.
I'm not an adoptee, but my wife is. My wife is white and was adopted by a white couple, yet, she speaks of the same sense of feeling "cut-off" from something important. So, your experience as an adoptee is 100% valid and appropriate and is common across racial and cultural boundaries. Of course, being of Asian descent may complicate the issue further, but all Asians that grew up in the west may well share your feelings of being cut-off and in a sense that may make all of us "orphans".
Again, thanks for this thread and I hope you continue to post on this subject.
@Kim: as much as you seem to enjoy using your daughters as rhetorical human shields for your insults and curses, you yourself, and no one else, are responsible for your own (racist) words. Don't make this about them, because it's about you.
Also, I'm not interested in making policy recommendations to the CCAA; I have not adopted from China nor do I intend to. I'm just happy that the trend in China towards increased domestic adoption means less international adoption, which I think should always be the last resort of last resorts. And then when international adoption hopefully slows to a trickle then stops, types like Kim will have to find some other way to tout their superiority over us inarticulate badly-educated feeding-live-children-to-dogs conservative Confucian Asians.
Sorry John aka Jae-Yong. Couldn't resist. I will from now on though, I promise.
CS LI, that was a very gracious and thoughtful response.
Taking it to a more abstract policy level, it's my opinion that international adoption has no effect at all on general child welfare. There are many countries with no international adoption at all... but they still have terrible track records with child welfare. I would venture to say that the majority of countries in the world have very small or zero international adoption. And the countries that do have a lot of international adoption aren't any better or worse. I just don't see the correlation, either positive or negative.
International adoption has a major effect (both good or bad) on some individual children and families. But beyond that, I don't think it's possible to draw conclusions about causation.
For example, Japan has almost zero international adoption. Korea has a lot. Both countries have a high standard of living and low birth rates. Is the status of single mothers and children in foster care and orphanages better in one country than the other? It's hard to say. Both have problems. The US has a lot of problems too, but of a different nature.
I agree that countries would be better off if they spent more money on child welfare, foster care, and encouraging a multi-pronged strategy of supporting unified families, then kinship adoption and guardianship, then domestic adoption. Some countries don't have these resources. Japan, Korea and the US, even China, all do really have the resources, they are just not prioritizing these needs.
As for your point about adoption as an octopus... I actually feel a strong sense of gratitude toward adoption, because my father is adopted (Asians in Asian countries do adopt other Asians, which is something the white savior types like to gloss over). Without adoption, my father wouldn't have survived, and I wouldn't have been born myself. But I totally separate this sense of adoption from the adoption industry and those who benefit from its worst excesses and consumerism. Adoption is my father's life being saved. Adoption is also kidnapping of babies from desperate parents amid widespread corruption. Adoption is the kindness of strangers (and the kindness and duty of the extended family). Adoption is a brutal racialized hierarchy where white babies are worth the most, older black children are worth the least and Asian babies are somewhere in the middle because they're deemed practically as good as white. Adoption is a lot of things, some good, some bad. I am certainly not going to worship it like an idol. It's horrifying to me that so many adoptees are forced to bow down before it...
@Kim: as much as you seem to enjoy using your daughters as rhetorical human shields for your insults and curses, you yourself, and no one else, are responsible for your own (racist) words. Don't make this about them, because it's about you.
Also, I'm not interested in making policy recommendations to the CCAA; I have not adopted from China nor do I intend to. I'm just happy that the trend in China towards increased domestic adoption means less international adoption, which I think should always be the last resort of last resorts. And then when international adoption hopefully slows to a trickle then stops, types like Kim will have to find some other way to tout their superiority over us inarticulate badly-educated feeding-live-children-to-dogs conservative Confucian Asians.
Sorry John aka Jae-Yong. Couldn't resist. I will from now on though, I promise.
CS LI, that was a very gracious and thoughtful response.
Taking it to a more abstract policy level, it's my opinion that international adoption has no effect at all on general child welfare. There are many countries with no international adoption at all... but they still have terrible track records with child welfare. I would venture to say that the majority of countries in the world have very small or zero international adoption. And the countries that do have a lot of international adoption aren't any better or worse. I just don't see the correlation, either positive or negative.
International adoption has a major effect (both good or bad) on some individual children and families. But beyond that, I don't think it's possible to draw conclusions about causation.
For example, Japan has almost zero international adoption. Korea has a lot. Both countries have a high standard of living and low birth rates. Is the status of single mothers and children in foster care and orphanages better in one country than the other? It's hard to say. Both have problems. The US has a lot of problems too, but of a different nature.
I agree that countries would be better off if they spent more money on child welfare, foster care, and encouraging a multi-pronged strategy of supporting unified families, then kinship adoption and guardianship, then domestic adoption. Some countries don't have these resources. Japan, Korea and the US, even China, all do really have the resources, they are just not prioritizing these needs.
As for your point about adoption as an octopus... I actually feel a strong sense of gratitude toward adoption, because my father is adopted (Asians in Asian countries do adopt other Asians, which is something the white savior types like to gloss over). Without adoption, my father wouldn't have survived, and I wouldn't have been born myself. But I totally separate this sense of adoption from the adoption industry and those who benefit from its worst excesses and consumerism. Adoption is my father's life being saved. Adoption is also kidnapping of babies from desperate parents amid widespread corruption. Adoption is the kindness of strangers (and the kindness and duty of the extended family). Adoption is a brutal racialized hierarchy where white babies are worth the most, older black children are worth the least and Asian babies are somewhere in the middle because they're deemed practically as good as white. Adoption is a lot of things, some good, some bad. I am certainly not going to worship it like an idol. It's horrifying to me that so many adoptees are forced to bow down before it...
Wow, I'm rather idiotic tonight, aren't I? (CSLI is actually the author!) Sigh. It's been a long day. @_@
Trackbacks
Custom Search
Recent Posts
- Is Kim Jong Un Dead? Assassination Rumors Hit the Internet
- Help Fight Stereoptypes With Asian Crew Clothing
- Deftones’ Chi Cheng Wakes Up From His 3-Year Coma
- SXSW 2012 Has a Nice Handful of Asian Movies
- Woman In China Gives Birth To 15 Lb Baby
- Naruto & Dragonball Now Available On Barnes & Noble Nook
- Kisai Rogue KR2 LED Watch
Recent Comments
- : Good luck! Hope things work out. – Behind The Scenes With Team Janet & A Call To Help Janet Find Her Match
- : I think due to the political sensitivities and how prominent many Chinese have become involved in American institutions (and in several ways, vice versa), Pete... – Pete Hoekstra's Offensive Anti-Asian Super Bowl Ad
- : @itzagudwun I was going to drop the discussion but let me ask you a question. What exactly am I stereotyping about Asian parents? Is is... – What if Jeremy Lin Weren't Asian?
- : Great article again, Tim. I'm actually very surprised in hearing the findings. I knew that Asian Americans were less likely to carry credit card debt... – Asian Americans Have Mixed Results In Retirement Study
- : Rock-on, Steven. Judging from the segment, I find this female host to be less of an attention-whore than Olivia Munn. Moar female hosts like this,... – Steven Yeun Talks About The Walking Dead Season 2.5 & Tries A Bacon Milkshake
APA Events
Feb 16: Adam WarRock and Kirby Krackle: West Cost Tour Dates!!!
Feb 16: (New York, NY) Amar Chitra Katha: Monica Ferrell, Chitra Ganesh, Keshni Kashyap, and Himanshu “Heems” Suri of Das Racist
Feb 17: (Los Angeles, CA) All My Sons
Feb 18: (Stanford, CA) Stanford’s 16th Listen to the Silence Conference- Feb 18: (San Francisco, CA) NAAAP-SF Lunar New Year Gala 2012
Feb 25: (Los Angeles, CA) Past Present I Future Imperatives: Queer Space Time
Mar 3: (New York, NY) Vong Pak’s ‘Electric Shaman’ Concert
Apr 30: (Sacramento, CA) California Asian Pacific Islander Policy Summit 2012: iAdvocate
Staff and Contributors
- Editors
- Ernie Hsiung - Founder, Editor-in-Chief
- Moye Ishimoto - Co-Editor, Editorial
- Joz Wang - Co-Editor, PR & APA Outreach
[...] There’s an interesting discussion going on at the comments over at http://www.8asians.com/2009/03/27/say-my-name/ - check it out and offer some support to Chun-Soon Li if you have a [...]
[...] stories come as no surprise in a complex situation like foreign adoption in America, where issues of culture, racial identity and misplaced intentions always come to play. Could life get even more complicated for these [...]
[...] her personal blog about changing her adoptive name, “Mary,” to her orphanage name, Chun-Soon. Re-posted on the Asian American forum 8asians.com, a melee ensued comprising over 140 heated comments in which the raw issues surrounding [...]