By Maricris
I’m beginning to think that my colleagues have a very misconstrued idea of what being Asian means.
Whenever we have a meeting and something goes wrong or business transactions goes veering off to the loony side of things, they’re quick to say “well, he’s Asian, he’s crazy!” or “She’s Asian, she’s crazy!” For the love of me, I really don’t understand the relationship between CRAZY and being ASIAN. And you know what’s even crazier? One of them is Asian and he completely agrees to this wacky definition; I guess that makes him, uhm, craziest?
I admit that with the cultural differences, we approach and see things differently, but that does not equate to being crazy; it’s just how we cope. At this point, I should mention that my boss is Chinese and her husband is American — these two constantly fight and nothing wrong with that, but this is where all this “Asians being crazy” stuff in the office originated from. His usual mantra whenever she does not agree on what he said is to always say, “She’s Asian, she’s crazy!” And strangely, like a contagious virus, it got picked up by everyone else. Isn’t that crazy?
What is it about being Asian that makes us crazy: is it the fact that I insist using the broom instead of the vacuum whenever I clean up the carpet in my office at work? But the vacuum emits a skunk-like odor! Does that make me crazy? Or the fact that most Asians talk loud even when the person they’re talking to is right next to them? (I’m keeping my mouth shut on this one.) Or the fact that I’m so straightforward and frank about most things, I don’t even bat an eyelash when I say to a customer “you owe us money, pay up!” So, what’s crazy about that? They’ve got to pay, right?
One time we had a client who was not too keen on paying up her delinquent account, and my colleague begged me to take care of her ONLY becauseI was “Asian & crazy frank that way,” and then went on to say that he is American and they just don’t do it the way I, crazy Asian woman, does it brutally. Really.
Yes, my frankness is incurable. Like I can confidently tell my lady boss she looks like a witch whenever she comes to work and her hair is in disarray, which just blows everyone away! But guess what — she appreciates that. (Well, not her looking like a witch, but me telling her the truth.) In our culture, pointing out something means we care. It is not out of maligning or insulting the person. I don’t know why my American colleagues couldn’t see pass that. So does this make me crazy? Well, no more crazier than what these people from Paramount did to that poor Asian guy in the movie. Now that is crazy.
ABOUT MARICRIS: Maricris shares her journeys in life through her personal blog ZenVentures, her views on being Asian in Toasty Brown, her insight as a working mother in Working Mother Magazine, and who’s creative side can be found at Golden Flower Creations.
(Flickr photo credit: JenXer)
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Yup that's how it is. Either you get used to it or freak out about it. I went & visited relatives in Cali & that's all I heard "you've gained some weight!" Note: this peeps has not seen me since High School! Go figure.
Yup that's how it is. Either you get used to it or freak out about it. I went & visited relatives in Cali & that's all I heard "you've gained some weight!" Note: this peeps has not seen me since High School! Go figure.
"His usual mantra whenever she does not agree on what he said is to always say, u00e2u0080u009cSheu00e2u0080u0099s Asian, sheu00e2u0080u0099s crazy!u00e2u0080u009d And strangely, like a contagious virus, it got picked up by everyone else. Isnu00e2u0080u0099t that crazy?"
It's not crazy, it's inappropriate. And I hope you were just exaggerating when you say that they "constantly fight" -- there's something VERY wrong with that.
I realize I'm basing my opinion of the guy on a single paragraph and that I'm coming into this without any knowledge of any kind of context for his behavior, but your boss' husband sounds like a complete douchebag.
"In our culture, pointing out something means we care. It is not out of maligning or insulting the person. "
Maricris, that's a great explanation - I have never thought it about it that way. I always wondered how Asians could be so frank in some situations and dance around other situations. I know it has always annoyed me and my siblings when Asians (Filipinos mostly in my case) would frankly say things like "you've gained some weight!" At the same time, I'm acutely aware that doing some thing like criticizing Asians in front other people is a bit of frankness that doesn't go over well (especially with Filipinos).
Just in general, I don't think anyone should or has to talk on behalf of his or her entire race/social group. It is unacceptable to label anyone as crazy because he or she belongs to a racial/ethnic group and also because there are people with different mental abilities who might be hurt by such a comment.
So for example, when you say "In our culture" what exactly do you mean, because although I am an Asian/Asian American woman, I am not comfortable with being frank. Also to the comment below, I am American but am aware of certain racial issues (therefore not completely ignorant), did you mean to say that white people or just people in general are ignorant of other cultures?
Feb 18: (Stanford, CA) Stanford’s 16th Listen to the Silence Conference
Feb 19: (San Jose, CA) Free screening of Valor with Honor Documentary
Feb 19: (San Jose, CA) 32nd Annual San Jose Day of Remembrance: 70th Anniversary of Executive Order 9066
Feb 24: (Toronto, ON) SNOW, Opening at the Cumberland Theatres in Toronto
Feb 25: (Los Angeles, CA) Past Present I Future Imperatives: Queer Space Time
Mar 3: (New York, NY) Vong Pak’s ‘Electric Shaman’ Concert
Apr 30: (Sacramento, CA) California Asian Pacific Islander Policy Summit 2012: iAdvocate