Koji’s Top 10 Favorite 8Asians Comments

I love it when sitcoms break the “fourth wall” and look back at their favorite moments. I also love year in review news stories and articles. I think it’s the looking back and reflecting that I like the most. This article is my chance to look back at my last three years as an 8Asians writer. But instead of looking back at my favorite articles, I’m going to look back at my favorite comments.

One of the best things about 8Asians is our comments section. As a writer, it allows me to interact with you (the reader). I admit, sometimes the feedback isn’t always kind and I’ve had my feelings hurt once or twice. But I’ve also learned a lot and have at times changed my opinion. It would be disingenuous if I didn’t also acknowledge that what I write about and how I write has been affected by the responses I’ve gotten. And yet some of the comments have made me sad. Not for myself. But for all of humanity. Because if people really believe some of the stuff they are writing then I am truly worried about the survival of our species past my lifetime.

Here are my top 10 comments from YOU the readers that have made me smile, laugh, shake my head, grimace, or just plain leave me angry.

A quick note: I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting on all my articles. When I was compiling this list, there were many I wanted to include but could not because of space limitations.

#10: One of my favorite responses are when people have personal experiences with the things/subjects I’m writing about. For example, this commenter responded with her experiences at an Asian themed party after reading “Are Asian Themed Parties Racist?

I was invited to a Swinger/Fetish party that was Asian themed even though the hostess was herself Asian American knowing that 98% of the people attending were not I felt too uneasy to go. Watching a bunch of jerk offs in mandarin collars makes me want to punch things.

#9: It might not seem like it at times, but I can be serious when I want to. And I do think part of 8Asians is teaching and sharing our experiences with others (within and outside the Asian/Asian American communities). That’s part of why I write for 8Asians. And so it gives me hope that I’m doing that when I read comments like this in response to my article, “Screenwriting & Race

I’m black, but it’s so interesting to read about somebody else’s racial experiences in the United States. A stereotype about Asians is that they’re all totally fine with the way things are, and “don’t need” media representation and don’t “make trouble” by demanding visibility. Sadly, I believed this for a while, because I never saw or heard anyone Asian/Asian American complain about their sitch television. I realize now that everyone has just been ignoring you. Another note – Hollywood has issues with showing any minority couples having a good, healthy relationship with one another – rarely do you see a happy couple of the same race who isn’t white.

#8: Sometimes people leave comments and it is very apparent that they have either 1. Totally misread/misunderstood the article or 2. Read the title and wrote a comment. Like this person who wrote this after (not) reading, “Are Asians the Smartest Race?

This site is one of the most offensive and unbelievably irritating things I have ever read. I am sick of other races deciding that blacks and puerto ricans are less than they are. They set up bias studies, write bias books and teach bias data. I’m sick of it. My 6 year old son was tested because he was obviously smarter than the other first graders in a top notch school. I had him tested because he was bored out of his mind. We went through a lot because he was suppose to be some little dumb black kid. The shock and amazement was nauseating because I knew it went way beyond being surprised that a first grader had to be placed in the third grade. His new teacher resented it, He had to be moved into another third grade class less bigoted. If I were to lament anything about being a black parent, it would be for blacks not to rely on the government to educate your child, you have to be proactive. Before they walk through any school door, teach them how to read, mathematics and make it fun. If you do, you will give your child a leg up that will shut these people up by the next generation.

#7: There have been some comments that have made me laugh out loud. Here is one of them from the article, “Asian Belly Buttons: Are You An Innie or Outie?

Look, I’m not trying to be judgmental or nothin’ but let’s face it, outies ARE weird. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always thought outies look like the beginning stages of an alien bursting out from someone’s tummy (or the final stages of an alien burrowing into someone’s tummy with a bit of the tail sticking out).

#6: I don’t think there could be a top 10 comments without mentioning the person who created a petition against me for my articles: “Do Asians Have the Smallest Vaginas?”  and “Do Asians Have the Smallest Breasts?” I’m not going to link to her or name her. But let’s just say it was the first petition that has ever been officially created against me. It was humbling that one of my articles caused such a reaction. However, like #8, this person totally misread/misunderstood the point of these articles, which to be clear was to say that there was NO scientific evidence for a correlation between race and [fill in body part].

#5: There are some comments that are so crazy, they have to be a joke. But a part of me thinks, maybe they are being totally serious. And then I feel sad for all of us. Like this person who left this comment after reading, “Series of Web Pages Convinced Asians are Aliens from out of Space.

I searched this topic because I believe the premise to be true, with all my heart.  I married into an Asian family.  The culture is 5000 years old, and was always extremely advanced.  There are myriad reasons for the assertion. It’s not just math that Asians excel in.  They excel generally, as humans.  There was no need for them to be made ‘in charge of the planet’.  In fact no one is ‘in charge’ of the planet.  They came here because the planet is hospitable, and frankly some day they likely will, on some level, absolutely rule the planet.  I defy you non-Asians with little experience with them, to marry into or otherwise spend your time ‘infiltrating’ their culture.  They are nothing like any other race.  It makes a great deal of sense, and since we don’t know what we don’t know, it is completely feasible.

#4: Here is another crazy person who responded to my article, “Do Asians Have Body Hair?” (Note that these comments aren’t there anymore.)

well my dad is chinese and I am half so i got my chest hair from my mother side.  One cousin has a hairy chest on my dads side so I am think we are not pure chinese.  yeah your right they were insesucure about there bodies too.

And when I told him I was full Japanese, his response was this:

are you sure?  alot of Japanese and Chinese people dont want people to know they have white blood.  Is it thick medium or small?  Mine is medium.    My cousin always shaves it off I am thinking we have white blood in our family with my dads mother and father.  we cant look up anything except his mother and father thats it

I assured him that I was sure.

are you like 210 percent sure?  Some people who take the DNA testing are shocked at the finding thats why I want my dad or me to take that DNA testing kit. I know a lot of Japanese and chinese people dont like white ancestry but black OH GOD! thats WORSE!  LOL

#3: I also like being right – even if I’m only being half serious. This is an exchange I had with someone in response to, “The Science and History of the Asian Squat.

Ha, that’s funny; I was actually doing the Asian Squat as I was reading this. And I’m a 177 cm tall caucasian (then again, I’m not American, but European.) I really don’t think it has anything to do with heigh, but I’m totally on board with the tight calf muscle theory.

And then I asked (rhetorically) if “Europeans can do it more than Americans.” To my surprise, he asked his friends and he later wrote:

Okay, out of the three people available for testing, none of them could! That’s embarrassing. I guess I’m just a freak of nature ^^

#2: Sometimes I learn from you guys. For example, in this comment, the person brought up a point that I didn’t even consider at the time – the point of breasts are to feed a baby. After the birth of my son, I could/would never make that same mistake again. This comment was taken from “Do Asian Women Have the Smallest Breasts?

Breasts are made up of mostly fat so thin women are going to be smaller regardless of nationality. Incidentally, all of the women in your pictures above have implants. With the growing increase of augmentation surgeries the “average” has grown in many modern countries. In nations where breasts are seen for what they are, baby food, they aren’t seen as sexual like they are here in America or other western countries

#1: When I first read this comment, it sounded so farfetched that I didn’t believe it. But then after a second read, I realized it was real. And then after a third read, I realized I know people like this. This (long) comment is in response to, “Do Submissive Asian Women Exist?

I do know a couple of “submissive” women but they all are white, but I want to talk about one in particular –

One proudly acknowledges she’s “fully adopted” the “lifestyle and personality traits of a traditional Japanese woman”. Although she didn’t realize until I pointed it out, she acts like a stereotypical “geisha”. Her life revolves around her husband. She waits on him at home, runs a bath so it’d be ready when he gets home, she washes his back, she defers to him on everything, she doesn’t speak unless she’s spoken to, and her husband’s always right. While he’s at work, she cleans the house inside out, goes shopping (won’t buy food without having her shopping list approved by her husband first and she won’t spend any more than he’s allowed her to spend on that day), everything to make their home truly one man’s castle. She doesn’t work, she won’t have any children because he doesn’t want any, and she doesn’t see her family and friends any time she wants. She won’t meet anyone without her husband at her side.

What almost killed me is she wears a full-on, again they didn’t realize, ceremonial kimono at home and at some parties. Not a yukata or hippari that women wear at home or in public when they want to be traditional. She said she changed her “personality” because her husband is a long-time admirer of Asian women and because she likes “honorable Japanese people’s life philosophy”. Pass me a bucket, someone.

I had explained they got it all wrong. I even showed videos of my battleaxe grandmother and my “I can break any man’s balls” aunts as examples. But both still are insistent that submissiveness is an honorable and admirable “Japanese trait” and that all white women should adopt it. Her husband routinely dismisses my comments and concerns since he feels I’m not “authentically Japanese” (I’m a half). I brought along an “authentic” Japanese female cousin to back me up, but she still isn’t good enough for the husband because she’s “westernized.” Too outspoken and too “aggressive.” Not a true Japanese woman, he said.

He’s an expert because after all he was stationed in Japan for two long years. He never shuts up about that. He peppers his conversations with many (mispronounced or misused or both) Japanese words. He also throws in random factoids about Japan whenever he feels like it. He insists that more demure (submissive) a woman, more honorable, traditional and authentic the woman.

I feel they’re using the Japanese thing as an excuse. For him, to have his ego massaged 24/7 and for her, to avoid taking responsibility for anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was told there are more men like that husband who truly believe the whole ‘submissive Asian women’ bullshit. They’re so creepy.

Do you have a favorite comment you’ve read on 8Asians? Let me know by posting them below!

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Author: Koji Steven Sakai

Writer/Producer Koji Steven Sakai is the founder of Little Nalu Pictures LLC and the CEO of CHOPSO (www.CHOPSO.com), the first Asian English streaming video service. He has written five feature films that have been produced, including the indie hit, The People I’ve Slept With. He also produced three feature films, a one hour comedy special currently on Netflix, and Comedy InvAsian, a live and filmed series featuring the nation’s top Asian American comedians. Koji’s debut novel, Romeo & Juliet Vs. Zombies, was released in paperback in 2015 and in audiobook in 2016 and his graphic novel, 442, was released in 2017. In addition, he is currently an adjunct professor in screenwriting at International Technological University in San Jose.