8 Asians

I’ve been fascinated by Penis-Gate with the recent “controversy” over how Kate Gosselin joked that Jon’s penis was “stubby” and how his ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman said that he had a “tiny, tiny, tiny” penis in a recent issue of Us Weekly.

All this penis talk got me thinking, do Asians really have small penes (which is the plural of penis)? That’s the stereotype, right? But since I haven’t seen many human penes in my life (besides my own) I don’t really know. So I did a quick Google search and this is what I found:

• The Penis Size Chart By Ethnicity done the British Medical Journal: this indicates that Asians do have smaller penes but as one astute person commented, Asians do have the highest number in the 8.8 category. Without knowing their sample size and who exactly they sampled from, this study seems questionable at best.
• “The Definitive Penis Size Survey,” which I put in quotes because even according to them, they don’t have a very large sample size of non-whites. Is it any surprise then that Caucasians in their study had the biggest and longest lasting penis?
• The Penis Size Chart: I don’t trust this one because they refer to Asians as “Orientals.”

One interesting article I discovered during my research was that some men in Asia are having penis enlargement surgery to “to avoid shame when bathing en masse.” I think that’s a silly reason to want to cut open your own penis, but to each their own. I try my hardest not to judge. However, if you’re thinking about this surgery, you can always consider the Male Organ Specific Enhancement Surgery.

After all of that, I still don’t know what to think about Asians and penis size; after seeing many too pictures and visiting way too many websites devoted to the penis, I do know that men are very sensitive about the size of their genitalia. I read somewhere that men believe the average penis size is almost eight inches. Don’t worry, guys. In reality, it’s much closer to five. In the end, every women’s site seems to say that it’s not the size of the boat that matters but how one twirls it around. At least, that’s what they say because to me, that reeks of “I like your personality.” Maybe I’m a little cynical.

As an Asian man, I’m thinking we just need better PR and to somehow compel Asian guys in the 8.8 category to become porn stars, or at least have their own penis websites. Dare I suggest Asianshavelargepenes.com? Feel free to use that. I want credit, though.