Time: From Whiz Kids to Tiger Moms

By John | Wednesday, February 2, 2011 | 12 Comments

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If you haven’t gotten enough of the ‘Tiger Mom’ meme, this week’s cover story in Time magazine is on The Truth About Tiger Moms:

Though Chua was born and raised in the U.S., her invocation of what she describes as traditional “Chinese parenting” has hit hard at a national sore spot: our fears about losing ground to China and other rising powers and about adequately preparing our children to survive in the global economy.

I have to agree that there is definitely an overall underlying concern in America today by our generation that our future will not be better than what our parents experienced. America is an optimistic young country, and since World War II, has seen generation after generation achieve more and more until now.

The cover story also goes on to reinforce some past cognitive academic research supporting Amy Chua’s parenting techniques – high expectations (not lavishing praise for fear of low self-esteem) as well as practice & drilling. Stanford University professor of psychology Carol Dweck noted that kids praised for being intelligent rather than for working hard were more cautious in taking on more challenging tasks. And professor of psychology Daniel Willingham at the University of Virginia noted: “It’s virtually impossible to become proficient at a mental task without extensive practice.”

Personally, if I were a parent, I would take the best of both worlds – of Eastern and Western philosophies – making sure that my child worked and studied hard to the best of his abilities, explore his or her creativity and passions, to be the best version of himself or herself that they could be. I think the Wall Street Journal’s book excerpt title of ‘Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior‘ was intentionally sensational, much like when it published their article many years ago on Cupertino, California high schools – The New White Flight – In Silicon Valley, two high schools with outstanding academic reputations are losing white students as Asian students move in. Why? You can hear more about Amy Chua’s thoughts on the controversy and a more nuanced overview of her memoir from her radio interview last week on San Francisco Bay Area’s public radio station KQED and its show, Forum – here or this PBS video segment here.

This cover story also reminded me of another Time cover story – ‘Those Asian-American Whiz Kids’ – which came out in the late 1980s when I was in high school – and I was pretty proud to be one of them. I mean, if you are going to be portrayed as a racial stereotype, you could do a whole lot worse than be portrayed as being smart and hard working (think about the other racial stereotypes in America). To its credit, the cover story does address the negative aspects of the Model Minority stereotype, as it goes on to describe some of the factors leading to Asian Americans academic success, somewhat similar to Chua’s arguments:

Successful Asian-American students commonly credit the influence of parents who are determined that their children take full advantage of what the American educational system has to offer … “It’s a matter of dedication, family support and discipline.” “Asian parents spend much more time with their children than American parents do, and it helps.

From my observation and past conversation discussing this topic with teachers and others, I think Asian American parental involvement in general is a lot higher than your average American family. I remember my father being involved in helping out in picking some of my high school class electives (though in retrospect, although well intentioned, I do not think that he actually made the optimal choices). At my father’s eulogy, I remember my brother’s Latin teacher (much to my surprise that she had attended) coming up to me and telling me how she did remember how much my father cared about my brother’s education as well as mine.

I’ve always thought that Americans in general tend to attribute success to innate ability based on genetics while Asian culture definitely puts more emphasis on hard work. Practice makes perfect (and some would argue, 10,000 hours of practice makes perfection as Malcolm Gladwell and his book Outliers would note). Last week, the Wall Street Journal had a fascinating story on Why Rich Parents Don’t Matter , discussing the effects of raising children in poor families versus rich families (As family wealth increases, the choices of adults play a much smaller role in determining the mental ability of their children.) My favorite movie on the subject of nurture versus nature is Trading Places .

I never took an Asian American Studies course while in college, but blogging for 8Asians for the past four years has often seemed like a self-taught extended Ph.D. thesis in this area and I’m pretty sure that Asian American academic success and the Model Minority myth will endure for quite a while – probably as long people wonder why Why Asian Girls Go For White Guys (our most popular blog post ever). Over 60% of Asian Americans were born outside of the United States. Until a super majority of Asian Americans have been born and raised in the United States and assimilated and revert more towards the American “mean,” I think these types of stories, perceptions and controversies such as Chua’s and Model Minority stereotype will linger for quite a while.

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http://www.erniehsiung.com/ Ernie H.

Can we have a Tiger Mom drinking game, where if we hear the phrase “Tiger Mom” on the morning news or the evening news or in conversation with our white friends, we take a shot or set ourselves on fire?

In all seriousness though: Tiger parenting is fine. Really! When it becomes damaging – like it did for myself and my sister – is when the strict parenting comes with NO positive reinforcement of ANY kind. Then, kids excel for the hope of getting praise, which they interpret as love and affection. When they don’t — and my sister didn’t from neither my father or mother — things happen.

In the case of my sister, she had a mental breakdown and developed skizophrenia. While it’ll never be 100% proven, I will always be convinced that my parents contributed to this.
Mal

Just think…Amy Chua is smiling all the way to the bank!
moye

@ErnieHsiung Triple shots of soju anytime it’s another Asian American bringing the topic up.
raymonst

@Mal basically.
Danny_Ahmed

@ErnieHsiung Mental illness is pretty complicated. One can still develop them even if he/she had a decent childhood, live in a good environment and such.

I think the biggest problem with Asian Americans and their parents is communication. I could go much more in detail with this, but I’ll leave it for some other time, after the New Year.
Danny_Ahmed

What I think the Asian American community (sorry for generalizing but I hope you all get my point) really need to do is pretty much let go of what others say about us and just live our lives. We will be happy as long as we believe in ourselves.

Don’t worry and don’t think too much what the “mainstream” media thinks, what the general American population (or White or more specifically white and middle class, that’s pretty much what people mean most of the time) think and don’t worry and don’t think too much what our Asian peers want us to think.

Regarding education, like what so many people say, most parents use whatever works and tough love isn’t unique to only Asian moms and dads. Regarding occupations, don’t worry or think too much about the model minority thing. A job is just a job at the end of the day. Even people who are working in their dream careers do get tired of it once in a while or eventually. In America, not only you have to work hard and be creative, but you do need to enjoy some aspect if you were to work in any of the licensed professions like doctors, scientists, engineers, accountants, etc. the jobs many Asian Americans are stereotyped with. Not just that, there are just as many Asian Americans who do not have those “model minority” careers and would wish to do so. Let’s not act too high and mighty, complaining of things we take for granted.

Really, don’t worry too much about what others think.
Boogerhead

I’m pretty annoyed by the media fabrication of a Pan-Asian model minority entity that basically denies the existence of certain Chinese social standards that contribute to raising extremely well-bred children, basically good citizens who give “goody goody” a good name. I hate these self-centered career successful minorities who frankly aren’t necessarily decent human beings. It makes us all look like our least favorite extended family members.
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Boogerhead

I think Latino families are more affectionate than Asian American families and their kids have better social skills evident at an early age. With all these Alpha qualities, we should be seeing them taking up a lot more slots in top universities. I’m not proud of other people’s accomplishments just because they are fellow Chinese Americans nor do I believe that Chinese people are extra special academically. I’ve met a lot of nonstarters albeit with better degrees than mine.
Boogerhead

I think Latino families are more affectionate than Asian American families and their kids have better social skills evident at an early age. With all these Alpha qualities, we should be seeing them taking up a lot more slots in top universities. I’m not proud of other people’s accomplishments just because they are fellow Chinese Americans nor do I believe that Chinese people are extra special academically. I’ve met a lot of nonstarters albeit with better degrees than mine.
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