so not too long ago i was riding the #3 train south out of Harlem, staring into my ipod the way all new yorkers do, when i was rudely interrupted by a scuzzy frizzy-haired hobo screaming at the top of his lungs.
“PENNEEEZ NICKELS QUARTERS DIMES!” he snarled as he shuffled through the train. “I’LL TAKE ANYTHING! PENNEEZ NICKELS QUARTERS DIMES!”
it didn’t take long for him to traverse the length of the car, and i was a little startled when he came upon me and paused. “PENNEEZ NICKELS QUARTERS DIMES!” he said before giving me a once-over. he looked me coolly in the eye and seemed to pause for a moment before turning to shout at his larger audience. “I’LL EVEN TAKE FORTUNE COOKIES!” he said before shuffling on.
you know, it’s times like this that i love modernity. i mean really really love it, SO MUCH SO THAT WERE IT TO PRESENT ITSELF IN ANTHROPOMORPHIC FORM I WOULD IMMEDIATELY KICK IT IN DA’ NUTS.