On Matchmaking and Asian Male/White Female Interracial Relationships

I was reading this MercuryNews.com article about how online dating working for some Asian Californians and that they had to start their own matchmaking service to get things going, my first thought was to say, Hey, whatever works for you. But the lady that started the Asian matchmaking services says this little soundbite that kind of bothers me:

“Most Asian men feel they couldn’t handle Caucasian women,” she says. “In most Asian families, the man is in charge. Here it’s equal.”

Seriously? She must be of the “older generation” since I’ve never felt this way. I’ve never had an inferiority complex with Caucasian women; who hasn’t grow up in a nuclear family in our generation? Granted, I’m a rarity, given that I’m in an Asian Male/White Female (AMWF) relationship and tying the knot next month. But this Ma didn’t realize that there are niche markets for dating and it’s growing strong, even here in the South where the Asian population couldn’t dare compare with the west coast.

Take for example, AZNLover.com — a website created in 2004 with the tag line of: “Asian males – and the women who love them.” I’ve been browsing the site since Jeff Yang’s article in the San Francisco Chronicle, and they truly contradict what Ma thinks of the dating scene for Asian men with non-Asian females. Here in North Carolina, the likelihood of bumping into AMWF interracial couples are slim; if the Asian male is a recent immigrant? Even less; yet, at the last NAAAP meeting I attended, I met two other mixed couples breaking those odds. In one meeting. How crazy is that? I should have bought a lotto ticket that night.

Here’s what I’m getting at — in the United States, even the rural areas — we are starting to see more of the AMXF couples — interracial couples with Asian males. And that makes me happy to know that I won’t have to deal with the entire “most Asian men feel they couldn’t handle white women” mindset for too long. Hate to break it to Ma, but if a guy has an inferiority complex with dating women and not treating them equal, the Asian thing is the least of his concerns.

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About Ben

Ben Hwang is involved in a number of online publications and also writes at his personal blog, LUX.ET.UMBRA. When he's not in the middle of starting companies and dreaming up new ventures, he is heavily involved in local community efforts. Currently resides in North Carolina.
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