We’ve had movie versions of Mortal Kombat that was kinda campy but watchable, and we’ve had movie versions of Street Fighter which were pretty bad to downright terrible. Now video gaming males from ages 18-35 — and Moye, ha ha — can rest tight knowing that there’s going to be a movie about everyone’s favorite four button fighting game that incorporates corporations and demon possession, Tekken.
Tekken will be centered around Jin Kazama, played by British model and wushu martial artist Jon Foo, and will have some of the characters from the latter series, including one scary-ass lookalike for Craig Murduk
and Chiaki Kuriyama, who as Ling Xiaoyu will be able to stay in her “I kill people in a schoolgirl outfit” roles she took on for Battle Royale and Kill Bill. (Update: Nope, not true.)
Who won’t be in the movie? Paul Phoenix, which attests to the fact that they were not able to convince any 45 year olds to get a Kid-N-Play haircut and be a cheap asshole. (In this movie, that role goes to Eddy Gordo. “Hows it going, Eddy Gor-” [gets leg swept]) So what’s the verdict: will this movie be bad good, or bad bad?