When a Disney teenybopper alum gets knocked up, it’s like discovering a unicorn has been living in your backyard grazing on your snozzberry bushes. So when word got out in August that Brenda Song was pregnant with Trace Cyrus’s (a.k.a. Miley’s bro a.k.a. a Marilyn Manson/Joan Jett hybrid) baby, my elation went through the roof.
But alas, it was all a farce.
According to the Huffington Post, Brenda will not — I repeat — WILL NOT be the host body for a Cyrus spawn. Which means we will not be able to call Trace Brenda’s baby daddy.
Yes latest and gentlemen, against Tupac’s wishes (R.I.P.), Brenda DOES NOT have a baby as quoted by Song’s mother, Mai in the reputable journalistic source, Star magazine (via Radar Online):
She’s actually not pregnant … It’s very upsetting to our family because of what I’m going through and it’s not how we raised her.
It’s great to know that her mom is worried about what she’s going through and not her daughter’s well-being.
Brenda is probably best known as a Disney star for over-excited and over-acted shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Hannah Montana, and Wizards of Waverly Place. Then she took the “serious actor route” with a role as a clingy and moderately psycho girlfriend to Andrew Garfield’s Eduardo in The Social Network — and she played the role well. Maybe TOO well.
Nonetheless, she was on the verge of tarnishing her Disney sheen so that she can actual be a real person. In addition to a non G-rated movie, her pregnancy would have been a classy Better Luck Tomorrow move, adding some badassness (and a little acceptable trashiness) to the Asian American image — but unfortunately it ain’t happening.