Asian guys with white girls: Redux

By Ben | Tuesday, December 4, 2007 | 39 Comments

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asianguywhitegirl Asian guys with white girls: Redux

Funny thing happened this last weekend. See, the whole Asian guy, white girl thing? It’s even more uncommon in the South.

But yet, in the last couple of years, gradually the number of couples where the male is Asian, and the female is Caucasian has increased. Even here. So when I saw an attractive couple at Target this last weekend in this sequence, both couples kind of looked at each other strangely for a second before moving on. It’s not incredibly crazy, but you can guarantee that this trend has definitely taken its time to actually move forward.

And from an Asian guy’s perspective, whom has only dated white girls all his life, I have to say that this is at least a very good sign for Asian guys in general. That means that at some point, those white girls found out about the ten reasons why they should be dating Asian guys. Either that or we emit some sort of “we’re available and we’re awesome” type aura finally. Either way, I can’t wait to wait another couple years to tell you where the trend has gone.

If things go as well as they’re going in the last five years, we’ll be seeing a lot more little mixed babies soon. That’s right… look out Russell Wong, there’s gonna be a new generation of exotic hotties.

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http://itsbo.blogspot.com/ Bo

It’s always funny when my partner (who is white) and I hang out with his sister (also white) and her boyfriend. You see, my partner and I are the fairly-common white-guy/asian-girl combo. His sister and her boyfriend, however, are the less-common white-girl/asian-guy combo. People always assume that the siblings are a couple, and we asians are another. We get the most confused, dumb-founded looks when we all hangout together.
http://raaw.wordpress.com Jesse!

That’s hilarious Bo!

I’ve been making a note of Asian dude/White girl couples around San Francisco and it’s definitely something to note. Just saw one last night and in the biking community, I tend to see it a lot… not sure why…
http://www.bprlive.org Eugene

I really resisting commenting on this blog entry but I felt I had to lay down my two cents.

Not to be negative or anything, but I’m not sure why this particular “trend” is worth noting. You don’t see many people noting the asian american girl / asian american guy combo. And yeah, I understand the complaints of asian american guys: “Why are there so many asian girls with white guys?” I don’t know. Ask the asian girls.

Personally, I don’t see why I need my awesomeness to be validated by the person I date. Shit, do we need to make a list of why Asian guys are awesome to know that we’re awesome. It is like reading an insecure classified ad in the dating section. Maybe that is the stigma of Asian American man. Maybe it isn’t our fault, but it is all those images in the media. But, yo, in the end, I’m awesome because of who I am.
But that’s my perspective.
darren

I always find posts like this kind of amusing since I am the son of a Japanese man and caucasian woman who have been married since 1962. I guess my parents were just way ahead of their time?
http://www.8asians.com John

Having gone to business school in the Research Triangle Park (North Carolina), there are definitely not that many Asian Americans in the area – especially if you don’t count undergraduate and graduate students attending the local university of Duke, UNC and NC State. So any Asian-White couple combination will be a lot different. For those Asian Americans who have never lived outside the West Coast or metro areas with a lot of Asians, I don’t think you realize how much this stands out.

Hell, I remember working in Connecticut right out of college and when I first started, my co-workers were asking me where I was *really* from (no, where my parents were originally from – Taiwan).
http://life.firelace.com darkmoon

The point of the post, like John said… was that… if you see this happening in the South? Wow. It’s come a long ways then. The South picks up trends slowly. There’s a running joke here about how we’re like five years behind everyone else.

Either way, the point was that while it does stand out…. there are more and more actually coming around. And that’s pretty damn cool when you think about the fact that no more than fifty years ago, this was tremendously rare, if at all.

Bible Belt wise, Asians are now being more and more integrated in… even through dating. And if that’s not at least a little progressive, I don’t know what it is. No longer are we the hardworking immigrants that keep to themselves and such. Now, some of those hardcore Southerners have to contend with us being in-laws and such. And that fact is pretty refreshing. It means that everywhere else, ya’ll metro peeps probably see it a lot more.

Believe me. I grew up in the Seattle area. The South was a shock when I moved here, and RTP where John was, is actually a lot more progressive than where I am located currently.
Bertie

Having gone to business school in the Research Triangle Park (North Carolina), there are definitely not that many Asian Americans in the area – especially if you don’t count undergraduate and graduate students attending the local university of Duke, UNC and NC State. So any Asian-White couple combination will be a lot different. For those Asian Americans who have never lived outside the West Coast or metro areas with a lot of Asians, I don’t think you realize how much this stands out.

—–

You’re joking right? I grew up in Chapel Hill, and interracial dating with respect to Asian Americans was pretty expected. Because there were so few Asian Americans, Asian Americans tended to date non-Asian Americans. And the RTP area is not the type of place where anyone would raise an eyebrow about interracial relationships.

The RTP area, especially Chapel Hill/Carrboro and Durham is the most progressive area in North Carolina (just look at a red/blue map by county). Jesse Helms once said that a fence should be built around Chapel Hill and that Chapel Hill should be turned into a zoo, if that tells you anything. And the RTP itself has the largest concentration of PhDs in the state.

The rest of the south I can’t speak for, but Chapel Hill/Carrboro, Durham, Cary, Raleigh… those towns/cities are pretty open-minded and progressive. I will even make the bold (and accurate) statement that Carrboro is right around where Berkeley, CA is in terms of politics/views.
Ron

The guy in the picture scares me.
http://www.8asians.com John

Bertie,

Yes, RTP is progressive. But if you don’t count a lot of the transplants who go to college in RTP, I don’t think that there are too many Asians. Maybe I am wrong – but that definitely was my feeling when I lived two brief years in Durham.
http://life.firelace.com darkmoon

lol. I wouldn’t go as far as to say Carrboro is as progressive as Berkeley. lol. And believe me… I know a lot of people from Carrboro. *laugh* I should ask Ruby if she agrees with that from Orange Politics. There are very progressive people such as her…. but we are still talking about the South.

RTP is still transplant central. Cary is a rich retirement community. heh. Unfortunately, RTP is sitll Southern and doesn’t really represent the rest of NC. Seeing that 90% of NC is actually rural, and non-urban. lol. Only 10 counties of about 100 that are considered urban counties.
Bertie

Well I lived 15 years of my life in Chapel Hill/Carrboro, and I’m going to maintain that if Carrboro were somehow lifted from the earth and transported to Cambridge, MA or Berkeley, CA, it would fit in quite nicely.

http://impeachpac.org/carrboro
http://www.nbc17.com/midatlantic/ncn/news.apx.-content-articles-NCN-2007-07-23-0021.html
http://www.carrboro.com/outandelected/
http://www.city-data.com/forum/raleigh-durham-chapel-hill-cary/35749-best-gay-friendly-neighborhoods-chapel-hill.html
http://skreened.com/bluetowns/rxfokavsokqfzcddscxb
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrboro

Let’s put it this way. When I grew up in the bubble that was Chapel Hill/Carrboro, the towns were so liberal (okay, possibly even leftist) that, I erroneously believed that I was a conservative. (Everything is relative.)
http://life.firelace.com darkmoon

*laugh*

And Chapel Hill and Carrboro wouldn’t be anything without UNC bringing those Asians in at some point. lol. It is very liberal though. I’d agree with that statement. But having been to both Cambridge, and Berkeley? *laugh* No way.

You try walking naked through Carrboro and see if you won’t get arrested. lol. Heck, you would in Cambridge. hah.
Bertie

What was the original topic of this thread again? Ah, who cares. Carrboro represent! HOLLAAA!!!

(P.S. Every winter – midnight before exams – Harvard students run through the area of Cambridge around Harvard naked. It’s called “Primal Scream.” But I would agree with the statement that one would get arrested for walking around Cambridge naked any other time. And probably Carrboro too.)
Dragonstyle

that top 10 list is ok, but this one is way better

top 10 reasons NOT to date an asian guy:

10) An average guy is like, pg 13 material. Now asian guys, they are ATLEAST for adults 65 years old and up only. Viewer discretion is mandatory.
9) We too sexy. White girls can’t handle us
My girlfriend and her hot sister is in the bath right now and my girl’s like “hey Dragonstyle, I’m horny. come over here honey.”
I’m like, “not right now hon, I’m writing a top 10 list”
7) screw this i’m going to the threesome
6)

woot asians!
realist

When most Asian guys say that its hard dating white girls they mean that its hard dating white girls that are as PRETTY as the Asian girls they can get. Its not hard for Asian guys to date white girls but theres a standard. Why would an Asian guy date a normal white girl when they can date a much hotter Asian Girl.

I dont know why Asian guys can date beautiful Asian girls but have a harder time with really pretty white girls. Asian guys do have to work a bit harder with really pretty white girls. Maybe its the lack of representation in movies, magazines, music.. I dont know.

For white guys and black guys its completely opposite. I think that we can all agree that white and black guys find asian girls exotic and different. And to them dating something “different” or “exotic” is beautiful regardless of what she really looks like or what her personality is. Some of the asian girls they date even have a hard time speaking english. But again it goes back to dating something exotic and different so they dont mind the accent.

Most Asian guys wont date a white girl just to date one. If she is hot and the white girl is into him then yes they’ll date. You probably wont see so many asian guys dating white girls as you see white/black guys dating asian girls but when you do see a white girl with an asian guy shes usually pretty good looking.
Mike

Realist,

You’ve got it right on. It’s not about getting any white girl, it’s about dating the hot ones.

I grew up in Florida where I always dated hot white girls (knew very few Asians and no other Asians in school). Then I went to college in the Northeast where I realized that getting a hot white girl to date you was really hard.

The point is there are a few white girls out there with an Asian fetish or are not as attractive…but who wants to date an anime freak or someone you don’t find attractive. Personally, a white girl who is obsessed with Asian culture freaks me out.

On the flip side, it’s much easier for me to date attractive Asian women. I’ll admit that I’ve seen Asian guys who walk around like they’ve won something when they date a white girl–I’m only impressed if the girl is hot (Ben, I hope your gf has an amazing personality).

The Asian girl/white guy thing doesn’t bother me that much. I think that most Asian guys wouldn’t be bothered by it if the flip side was just as common. In fact, when I see an unattractive Asian girl with a good looking white guy I think “good for her and what is he thinking?” But it’s not about race…it’s about the fact that there is one more attractive girl out there that hasn’t been taken. I don’t blame the unattractive Asian girl if she dates a guy with an Asian fetish…I’m wondering where are all the attractive white girls with Asian fetishes looking to date ANY Asian guy.

I sincerely apologize for any crudeness in my post. I understand that there are statements that could be considered misogynistic but these statements only reflect initial criteria used in dating–attractiveness.
Art

As a Asian american guy married to a wf in the South I object to the idea that progressive (liberal)=open minded about race. Some of the most open minded non-racist people I know are conservatives.
cooper brown

I am half vietnamese and half caucasian, My girlfriend is white, Italian to be exact. I have an asian look to me but you can most definitely tell that im mixed. Well anyway, I live in the south, in louisiana, Where racism was practically born. I’ve never felt akward or like I didnt belong, everyone in her family loves me, lets me spend the night ( as long as i sleep on the sofa ) and they invite me to family functions and take me on vacations with them. The only time I ever feel weird is when we are in public and once in a blue moon an old man will stare at me or her or both of us, and its only old men who do this, its happened a few times. Everybody else down here is cool and acts like nothing is even going on lol. Anybody have any ideas on why this happens?

pics of her
http://a144.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/71/l_45091028688efe995c15577e86b420af.jpg

http://a815.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/121/l_2cfab8a1bdc5837f3154e9cfd86234f6.jpg

Me
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL80/6223239/12113756/177185860.jpg
http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL80/6223239/15714998/251168830.jpg

US
http://a148.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/3/l_76e7918786a5365c066f6b54abe59873.jpg
JOE BOB

I may be a little late on this topic but just wanted to add my 2 cents.

I’m an american asian male and recently moved to the RTP area to go to school. I had dated some white girls before (I was born and raised in so cal), but it was mostly friends setting us up and the girls were decently attractive (but had a weird thing about liking asian boys). Since I’ve been in NC though I’ve actually been approached numerous times by very attractive white girls that bought ME drinks.

Interestingly enough, I think the same allure/fetish (whatever you wanna call it) that was present in cali exists over in NC (probably since there arent many asian guys and the ones here are mostly foreign exchange students or book worms).

All in all, I think people like things that are different.
http://www.womenforasianmen.com/ AM/WF

HAHA awesome article ben.

the “ten reasons” link was funny too
http://none.com Andy

Hehe, nice article.

Might be just me but I see AM/WF couples as much as I do AF/WM, I must be doing something wrong

& Cooper Brown – you make a nice couple.
S.O.

Realist and Mike, I totally disagree with you guys. It’s so much easier for me to date white girls. I feel like there is almost no white girl out of my league, no matter how hot she is. White girls will respond to confidence, a good personality, good humor, and to a lesser extent good looks. I can walk up to the most beautiful white girl and she will at least give me a chance.

On the other hand, you have some Asian girls who will never date an Asian guy even if he has everything going for him. With them, I know I have no chance. Now this is not all Asian girls, but a pretty good portion of them.

That’s all fine. None of this makes me mad. I actually prefer white girls so life is pretty good for me. For those Asian girls who only want a white guy, I hope they find the white man of their dreams and live happily ever after. To each his or her own. We all have preferences and you have to respect them. But reality is what it is. The only people who harbor the anti-Asian man bias is Asian women.
http://www.howtobeaflyasian.com ming

I agree that everyone has their own preference, and you should go after whoever you’re attracted to – be it white, black, Asian, Latino, etc.

You can say whatever you want about the negativity of social constructs that surround a white guy/asian girl couple. I’ve heard it all: racist media, white-patriarchal society, China-doll fetish, etc. But as a reformed, former-hater on white guy/asian girl couples, I can honestly say those negative sentiments are projections (in part, if not completely) of your own insecurities about your race. That’s a belief I’m sticking to – you can read more about it here: http://howtobeaflyasian.com/2009/04/15/why-asian-guys-hate-on-asian-girl-white-guy-couples/

With that said – I also can’t help but root for Asian guys dating white girls. In upstate NY, it was a rarity.
ifvybaby

the person I date. Shit, do we need to make a list of why Asian guys are awesome to know that we’re awesome. It is like reading an insecure classified ad in the dating section. Maybe that is the stigma of Asian American man. Maybe it isn’t our fault, but it is all those images in the media. But, yo, in the enI’ve been making a note of Asian dude/White girl couples around ifvy and it’s definitely something to note. Just saw one last night and in the biking community, I tend to see it a lot… not sure why..d, I’m awesome because of who I
Guest

Is it really a “trend”, though?
maria

The AMWF in Japan is not so much a trend out here – it’s because Mr Charisma Man isn’t quite the hot catch.

Though dating in this country has been pretty difficult (in reference to realist post about asian guys having to work harder with white girls) and I’ve found myself working twice as hard with a new set of dating rules and the language barrier (my Japanese is still not amazing). Not to mention when I got dumped via text message because I was “too strong minded”.

Thank goodness for my fella (Japanese Canadian) whom with, I know where I stand.

That’s not saying I’m lazy in dating, but it’s much less to think about in this relationship without it being work (but worth it) in itself already.
numnugget

the trend is certainly becoming more and more common, but I wonder if it is just kind of like the flavor of the week or will it persist. who knows I’m all for it. even started a website for it LOL

http://www.projectrevelasian.com
khcheung

Hi! I’m new to this site. I’m from Vancouver, and around town, i see as many Asian girl – White guy couples as I do Asian guy – White girl couples. Not a whole lot either sense, but they exist equally.

I want to talk a little about the (under- or over-) masculinization of non-white men. I just watched James Cameron’s The Avatar, and I think it’s a very good example of white-men storytelling. In the end, the white man saves the natives (non-whites), and all the strong male natives die. In this case, the Native woman objectified, like a trophy. And the men who are left function a war-prize for the one white man. That’s part of why non-white men struggle with their masculinity.

This is expected, James Cameron is a white man writing. His main character is a white man, a self-reflection. I can’t expect any better from James Cameron.

But I can expect more from Asian men. Your struggle for masculinization, it’s between you and white men. Women, well, we’re just objects anyways, we don’t have much of a say in this. Our struggle is a different one.

Asian men, please write stories, please redefine masculinity, please don’t blame women. We’re victims too, in a different way.
cuckooclock

I am a Chinese guy and have been living in Switzerland for the past 10 years. My current girlfriend of 3 years is a Swiss blonde. My last two relationships were with a Tunisian/Greek woman and an incredibly sexy (if I may say so) Sri Lankan woman. You could kind of say that I am an equal opportunity guy when it comes to dating women.

Personally, I happen to know of a string of Asian man-western woman combos among my acquaintances. For example, one of my Swiss girlfriend’s work colleagues is married to a Japanese guy. My barber, who just so happens to be a Japanese guy, was married to a Swiss woman, just a like a couple of his own Japanese friends. Then there is the daughter of my girlfriend’s private flute teacher who married a Japanese guy.

Just in case you were thinking that we are dealing with some kind of phenomenon mainly limited to Japanese guys, I know a Chinese opera singer whose 19 old son is being romantically pursued by a number of his Swiss girl classmates in school (he is a good-looking, and a very outgoing and confident chap). Last but not least, a Chinese friend of mine has been pursued by a Swiss lady, asking him to date her. However, he stubbornly wants to date Chinese women only. I have been trying hard to convince him to go for western women, but so far without any luck – I may have to resort to putting (ground) hallucinogenic mushrooms in his drink one day….

In addition, lately I have started to actively pay attention to interracial couples on the streets, and so far I have sighted a number of such couples involving Asian guys. As one example, last Sunday, as I was strolling in the park, I came across a Chinese guy walking arm in arm with a Swiss woman, probably married judging from the two young mixed looking boys who were with them.

It is undeniable that many decades of racist and demeaning stereotyping perpetuated by Hollywood have had a severe toll on the dating chances of (East) Asian men. With this in mind, one could discount my personal observations as just anecdotal “evidence”; nevertheless I believe that things are finally changing for the better for Asian guys in the dating scene. In the latest release of marriage and co-habitation data by the European census and marriage registry bureau for the year 2008, analysts have discovered a significant trend toward greatly increasing numbers of European women marrying and living with Asian men residing in European Union member countries.

Globalization and the gradual shift of economic and political power to East Asia have also led to an increase in more balanced, positive and truthful images of Asian men. Even Hollywood is realizing this and catching up. On a personal level, what also helps a lot is to be confident when approaching women (especially western ones) and be able to hold an intelligent conversation interlaced with humor (I believe these are one of the reasons why I have been hit on by numerous white women, mostly in corporate environments).
SChen123

The first white girl I dated was a Spaniard. I’m Chinese and during the late 80′s I was attending middle school in Madrid. At that time, Madrid was pretty racist, and I was mocked by my classmates all the time. But I learned castellano (spanish) very quickly, and eventually assimilated into their culture and made friends. A spaniard girl, Taña, who was attending the same school and grade I was invited me to a picknick, and since we were a couple for several years. Eventually we split up after my parents moved to the US.

Some of my Asian friends in the US complains that white guys are taking all the asian girls and that white girls don’t date them. But I almost never had a problem dating white girls. In fact, whites and latinas are the only one I date. I even dated a girl from Texas and Colorado. After my experience in Spain, I’m so used to everything that nothing shock me anymore. Most white girls are pretty open in dating asians, with a few exception, but I believe that is choice. At least that is how I feel. And I’m so glad to see other couples that feels the same as I do.
Pingback: One out of Seven New Marriages Interracial or Inter-Ethnic | Dating | 8Asians.com
Caro_Caro

I’m a German female, and I’ve dated lots of Asians. I think Asians look better than Caucasians XD. We do get strange looks as a couple though ><; Btw there are like 7 or 8 amwf dating communities out there already, like http://www.hey-ai.com and such …
Observer

As an Asian-American Male myself, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the fact that more Asian Males are increasingly starting relationships with White Females. The number of Asian Male-White Female couples that people see on the street are increasing as time goes by as Asian Males increasingly develop the self-confidence, character traits, charisma, and other qualities in men that women value to be a steady provider and someone skilled enough with people to keep a long-term relationship going, to start relationships with White Females. And also the numbers of Asian Male-White Female couples will gradually increase as White Females find out that yes, many Asian men are interested in them and White Females in turn become unafraid to take the initiative and show their interest in Asian Men and/or to return the interest shown by Asian Men in them.

The number of Asian Males starting relationships with White Females and females of other races will only increase as more and more Asian Males develop the bravery and courage to overcome their previous fears and get the guts to just go for it and ask women of other races out on dates whether they succeed or fail at first. And it will also increase as enough Asian Males develop enough adaptability skills to figure out the reason why they failed if they did not succeed at first in getting a date with a women of another race and so then change themselves so that they grow as people and improve themselves so that they take a different approach so that they succeed the next time, and as they develop enough persistency to keep on trying even if they do not initially succeed at first.

As more and more Asian Males ask White Women and women of other races out on dates, more and more Asian Men will succeed in dating them and more and more Asian Men and White Women and women of other races will see this, and the numbers of couples will build up critical mass and more and more Asian Males and Women of Other Races will do the same thing and it will have a rolling snowball effect. More and more Asian Males will succeed in starting relationships with women of other races, and the numbers of Asian Male-Females of Other Races couples will only increase as time goes by. As the ancient Chinese used to say, sometimes you just have to “jump into the open ocean”. And as the old Western sayings go, “No guts, no glory”, and “Fortune favors the brave.”

I do think however, that Asian Men should not mind if White Men or other races of men increasingly start relationships with Asian Women, even if there are an extremely large number of such relationships and women of other races don’t reciprocate as readily at first. You can still start relationships with other races of women, you just have to overcome greater odds in order to do so. But let us always keep peace with one another no matter what happens. I believe that this should be true even if this causes many Asian Women to reject Asian Men and to look down on them and to put them down as unworthy of them also. That will never be true for Asian Men and Asian Women and for Asian Men and any other race of women also, or for any woman individually. I do not think that if this happens and Asian Women start making fun of Asian Men, that Asian Men should lower themselves to respond to and fight back against Asian Women who stoop down to that level to do such a thing, because all it means is that if there are no more Asian Women who will start relationships with Asian Men, that Asian Men will have to start relationships with women of other races instead of Asian Women. It may be harder to do such a thing, and Asian Men may have to adjust themselves as people and grow and improve themselves as people in order to do such a thing and you may have to take yourself out of your comfort zone, but, as the increasing number of Asian Man-Women of other Races couples prove, it is possible.

I also do not think that Asian Men should mind White Men and men of other races starting relationships with Asian Women also because for Asian Men who believe in interracial relationships with Asian Men and Women of Other Races, it would be hypocritical for them to be against Asian Female-Men of Other Races relationships. It would be a double-standard and would be forbidding others to do what Asian Men want themselves, you’re supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated in life, and so because it is wrong for Asian Men who are for Asian Man-Women of Other Races relationships to be against Asian Woman-Men of Other Races couples, I do not think that Asian Men should be against it at all. And I think that the Asian Men who are against such a thing and who are so are just stressing themselves out over something that they should not mind at all.

Plus, you could look at the bright side and think of it this way, with so many men of other races starting so many relationships with Asian Women, it causes women of other races to think of Asian Men as possible future partners for themselves also, as likewise, many men of their own race have found Asian Women to be compatible partners with them as well. And Asian Women-Men of Other Races couples cause women of other races to start think of starting future relationships with Asian Men and cause them to realize that an Asian partner might make a compatible future mate for them as well. In fact, many White Men even know that this effect occurs, and so they try to stop other races of men from starting relationships with Asian Women so that they can prevent Asian Men from starting relationships with other races of women. So, by being against Asian Women and Men of Other Races couples, you are just taking away other people’s freedom of choice which you should respect, being racist yourself, being a hypocrite and practicing, especially if you are for Asian Men starting relationships with Women of Other Races, playing into other people’s hands who are completely racist against you without you even realizing it, and just being self-destructive.

And also, if Asian Men prefer other races of Women besides White Women, then they should feel free to start relationships with other races of Women as well, such as Black Women, Latina Women, Native American Women, or non-East Asian Asian Women. Many East Asian Men tell stories on the Internet that say that it is easier to start a relationship with a Black Women or a Latina Women than it is to start a relationship with a White Women, and deep down underneath it all, we are all equal, and are all attractive blessed races with something good to offer to the others, and to benefit others, with none being without worth or value, and it is a person’s own choice after all, and that right should be respected.

Although if an Asian Male prefers only White Females, and of course, if a White Female prefers only Asian Males, then it is their choice, and they both should have the freedom to choose to do whatever they want and they should both have their choices be respected without other people interfering in it.
Hollisterlvr2010

Coming from a nonwhite nonasian female, I have to say Asian men ARE attractive. Asians are not prominent where I live, though. It’s generally an all-white community
AJ12

There is only one race: the human race.

Love is the colour of water.
powerbee1

@lp Well depends. Usually, the girls are the ones that choose the guys, but then why are there so few white woman and asian man couples than reverse? I’m wondering if white women even like asian guys except for the liberal ones.
powerbee1

@Caro_Caro you get strange looks with your asian male friend because they’re scared, like people think all asian men will steal their beautiful white women or something which is a joke, personally I’ve found pygmies looking better than some white women.
JayL86

As an Asian man who’s dated Asian and Caucasian/European females in the past, and I am currently dating a white girl(I’m getting old, hopefully this will be long-term this time lol). Women like confidence, they don’t like arrogance, pushiness, possessiveness and guys who are too shy. Most Asian men are having second thoughts to approach a white girl due to the fact that they feel excited to be with that white girl, but overwhelmed by the thought of it, hence they lose confidence or if they do approach the white girl, they “try too hard”, which scares the white girl away.

Another reason why white girls tend to run away from Asian guys even after the early stages (if the Asian guy manages to approach the white girl), is Asian men are too possessive, and in the Asian culture, men usually are in control. My advice is YOU have to remember that you are NOT dating an Asian girl and you are definitely NOT in Asia. You have to learn how to adjust and adapt to their lifestyle and the North American culture.

Bottom line : Intelligent and decent white girls like Asian guys, slutty and ignorant white girls, who you wouldn’t want to be with in the first place, usually aren’t attracted to Asian men due to the “stereotypical myth” of having a smaller penis size. If you think that white girl isn’t attracted to your Asian features, oh well?? To each its own.

Be yourself, do not be possessive, learn to adapt and respect their lifestyle, BE CONFIDENT and trust me, you will be successful. OH by the way… DO NOT be clingy…. White girls love their space, Asian girls…. not so much. I’ve dated both races and I always seem to end up with a white girl, so I’ve weighted both sides and learned the differences.

That is my advice.
Jack

@JayL86 Remember, males are usually the pursuers trying to mate with any females. What you’re analysis about asian men “trying too hard” can be said for any ethnicity of men. The only difference with asian men compared to other races is that there aren’t enough asian men in the U.S. for white women to experience. Human beings in general socialize the best with who they know.