For those not au fait with APA blogosphere lingo, “IR disparity” refers to the Asian American heterosexual male’s gripe with Asian American heterosexual females dating and marrying “out,” as in getting it on with non-Asians. Yes, it’s a gripe, a petulant, nagging, neverending whine whine “why don’t you love me?” whine, albeit a legitimate, validated gripe. Every APA blogsite (that counts) has at some point addressed the IR disparity or at least was coerced into addressing it by troll commenters. The IR disparity has a long history of— People, stop chuckling and rolling your eyes here. This issue is as important as civil rights. And in any case I’ve got a solution. A solid one.
First, a little context for the gripe. There’s this mysterious Tyra Banks statistic, which I cannot find the source of, but if Tyra Banks says it is so, then it must be so, that more than 75% of the interracial dating scene is between Asian females and white males. Last year, the Pew Research Center came out with a report titled “Marrying Out” that found Asians to marry out at the highest frequency among all races, with 40% of the Asians marrying out being female (and only 20% of Asian males marrying out). An older study, “What Makes You Click? Mate Preferences and Matching Outcomes in Online Dating” suggests there are attribute trade-offs in mate preferences, specifically in income to ethnicity, and found that an Asian male who wants a white woman needs to make $247,000 more than a white man who wants to get that same white woman. The authors of the study write that these results “should not be taken fully literally,” but a quick keyword search online pulls up tons of IR debates where people must have missed that part and therefore cited the $247,000 stat quite literally. And that’s just a few of the plethora of scientific and pseudoscientific studies suggesting that the IR disparity is a legitimate, validated gripe.
So what do we do about this, this IR disparity? Well folks, what has America always done to counter the effects of discrimination, benefit an underrepresented group, and fix a disparate impact? Affirmative action, baby!
I’m not talking equal opportunity here: I’m talking straight up quotas and preferential treatment. I propose that all straight unmarried women (and since this is 8A, I’m specifically directing the proposition at women of Asian-descent everywhere, hapas this includes you too) agree to a 50% quota, hereinafter the Quota. 50% of all the men you date should be Asian. That’s it. In fact, make a list of your dating history right now. If half of them aren’t yellow or some warm happy tone of brown, you’ve got a lot of catching up work to do. In fact, if you are single right now, make it a point for your next romantic encounter to be with an Asian dude.
Sites such as 8A and more recently BigWowo.com, among others have posted frequently about the IR disparity, with each post inciting quite the wrath from what at least appears on the surface to be APA males, though with the blogosphere, one never really knows. The most recent one, here, has brought out some really intriguing though unoriginal characters: boys crying, “you girls don’t think we’re good enough; you don’t love your own kind” and the girls saying back, “uh… you’re not good enough; and yeah well you don’t really love us either; plus there’s these two Asian guys at my school who are losers, so all Asian guys must be losers. ”
That post and the pulp of a dead horse that APAs have beat this issue into is what got me thinking about the efficacy of a Quota. The IR disparity has become our community’s very own Godwin’s Law (mainstream bloggers end up talking about the Nazis; APA bloggers end up talking about the IR disparity), as proven by discussion sites like ModelMinority.com’s “The Forum,” Fighting44s.com, YellowWorld.org, and the ultimate scary site, Chinadaily BBS… not going to tell you what I think BBS really stands for…
There’s no deprivation of choice here, nothing like arranged marriage. No one is telling you which Asian man to date; only that half of the men you date in your lifetime should be Asian, any Asian you want. And there are so many of them to choose from! Asia, I hear, is a big, big country. . . .
Even if there aren’t that many Asian males walking about the town you live in, once we get this demand going, Asian male mail order sites and Asian male “me love you long time” pop culture references will crop up for sure and soon enough we’ll be seeing creepy AdSense ads promoting the Asian male fetish all over 8A. Hollywood will ride the trendiness of the phenomenon and produce films featuring Asian men as the romantic partner of choice…or at least 50% of them will, and that’s a percentage I can live with. Marie Claire will run an article titled “The New Dream Husbands: Asian Men.” [Compare: Marie Claire‘s 2009 article, “The New Trophy Wives: Asian Women.”] And, boys, I know this is exactly what you’ve wanted. All the complaining of exoticism from Asian feminist activists… man, what do we know, we’ve actually had it good.
With a strict, national implementation of the Quota, the Asian male gripe will cease to exist. APA blogsites will finally focus on issues like the continuing hate crimes targeting Asian Americans; the backhanded model minority myth; greater APA political representation at all levels, city, state, and national; workplace discrimination and the glass ceiling that hinders Asian American professionals from breaking into executive positions; seating the first APA Supreme Court Justice; or poverty among urban Asians. Because I understand that none of these issues really matter until we can get the IR disparity squared away.
So ladies. Have you met your Quota lately?
(Image credit: TheOatmeal)
- Excited
- Fascinated
- Amused
- Disgusted
- Sad
- Angry
I could probably live the rest of my life peacefully without this topic ever coming up again.
Asian guys: stop whining about who goes out with whom
Asian girls: do whatever/whomever you want
The above applies for the general idea of affirmative action too.
@TienVNguyen Agreed!
The whole IR Disparity crap is argued ad nauseum—which I believe is the primary reason why OTHER progressive leftist groups don’t take the APA activists seriously because all they see are the APA hetero males bitching about this disparity and how we always call for a boycott for shitty movies due to lack of APA actors (if you think about it, shouldn’t we be glad that our APA actors didn’t sign on to those shitstorms?)
As long as the man treats our (h)APA sisters with the utmost respect, love and reverence, who the fuck cares what color their skin is?
@Bunni @TienVNguyen What gloriously oversimplistic views of the issue, both of you. How does a holier-than-thou “let them eat cake” attitude help? Other activists don’t take APA activists seriously because APA activists focus their attention on an allegedly non-serious issue? Being dismissive of something a pretty big chunk of people from our community — whether you like them or not, whether you’re friends with them or not, whether you think they’re losers or not — because we pit Randian concepts of individual rights against an address of dominance theory? At least my fallacious logic was intentional.
Solution: Get her drunk
Alcohol solves any cross-cultural racial dating issues 😀 I thought this was lesson #1 of college dating.
On a serious note:
I think that I should be able to date whoever I want, and that Asian girls should only be allowed to date me. Therefore, everyone’s happy. Win-win.
Don’t really care about this issue, since my Asian parents don’t care. The props I give to the author is the use of the infamous Matthew Inman’s “8 phases of dating”. Well played. lol
Ah the beating drum of the self-righteous.
This is going to officially be my last post and visit to this site. It’s clear the issues of discrimination, sexism, gender disparity, self-identity, systemic and institutionalized racism and how they are all LINKED together are oblivious to many here and to be honest I’m actually getting tired of reiterating it.
Quite frankly there are laws and rules that allow us to fight against instances of overt racism. It is by no means easy but if I feel I have been wronged in the workplace or I’m physically attacked because because of my race, I have avenues I can explore to try and achieve justice. Do they work? No not always, but guess what we can rally together, we can protest and we can force improvements. There are ways.
What is more difficult for people to recognize and seems almost impossible for Asians to acknowledge is the cause and effects of covert racism of which the abnormally high rates/disparity of IR dating among Asians are a symptom of. I have no way to fight against a culture and a society that is designed to marginalize me and resonate and amplify those effects from within our own community.
We have a bunch of Asian women on this site who clearly prefer White men, who want to help their Asian “Brothers” by telling other women that we aren’t all that bad, telling racist white dudes half-heartedly to “stop saying bad things about Asian guys” and though they don’t feel obligated, feel we should be thankful for lifting their pinkies to help.
Akrypti, your suggestion will fail because Asian women will invite a random Asian guy they have no intention of establishing any kind of relationship with, out for a coffee date so they can sleep with the white guy that they really want to on the first date.
Since I’m leaving, I thought I’d give you my best Bitter Asian Man non-impression. Carry on without me as I will not be reading any responses.
@Ed So I guess you won’t be updating your avatar, then?
I don’t know why but as an asian guy I found this article humorous. It is true whether we like it or nt this topic is part of the APA scene and even I have opinions. BUT, thank you for the quota idea but I am confident I will find somebody, eventually. Slow and steady wins the race, if your competition is lazy and very sleepy. Besides if somehow, however improbable, a quota exists I would rather not have it because I wouldn’t know if I am part of a quota rather than actually going out with somebody who likes me. So in conclusion.
akrypti, you are a NAZI!!
Joking of course, have fun w/Godwin’s law 😛
@Ed Ed, I find your posts well thought out but…learn to take a joke! This article is obviously just a for fun jab at those “issues”. Settle down, I am confident that the women who post on here do support at least the rational group of their male counterparts. We all have somewhat similar goals as a group right? Better representation in media, an end to descrimination, and others. So, CHILL OUT and try to be less serious.
The post is obviously a dig at Asian guys and I laughed because I don’t mind having a laugh at my own expense every now and then. But I find it even more funny that some people are brushing off the topic as irrevelant and unimportant. Not everyone wants to be a manager or a CEO, not everyone wants to be a rock star or a movie star, but everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship.
And if you’re an Asian American Guy, you’re much more likely to hear “Sorry, I don’t date Asian guys” than facing some violent racist attack in the bar.
But then again, we should have known better. If an Asian guy rejects a girl because she’s not skinny enough, he will dismissed as shallow and does not respect women, but if a girl rejects an Asian guy because he’s not tall enough…than that’s perfectly fine.
And I agree there’s too much focus on the girls that doesn’t love us (and I admit I’ve done the same in the recent past) and not enough focus on the ones that do. Remember that the girls that love us is generally brought up in the exact same environment as those that doesn’t, but they still manage to discover us amongst the crowd and find us to be:
adorable,
dateable,
desirable
and of course
loveable.
And they will appreciately that we love them for who they are because:
We love their gorgeous brown eyes and jet black hair (or which ever shade of brown highlights is fashionable at the moment);
We love their body which is actually humanly proportioned and free of silicone and completely unlike the body type of swimsuit models which the media sells as ‘desirable’;
We love their chubby cheeks because they are completely different to the skeletal, anorexic face that Hollywood try to claim as ‘Beautiful’;
We love the fact that they share our same language (i.e. English) and will occasionally sneak in a few words of Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Tagalog which we may or may not understand and the opposite may apply depending on our FOBiness;
We love the fact that we can whinge about our parents together but still loved them (and their cooking);
We love the fact that people will still ask us (occasionally anyway) which high school we goto when we’ve graduated from university a few years ago.
We love them because they understand that our Asian friends are actually ‘American’ enough.
We love their beautiful voices and how seriously they take Karaoke – and the frowns we receive when we perform our version of “YMCA” in a Karaoke room (Yes, Room! Not bar).
We love how they claim they are full, wants us to finish their meal, but still have room for three serves of desserts.
We love their amazing make-up skills which really proves that “Impossible is nothing”.
In conclusion, we spent too much time hating those that doesn’t love us when we should be spending the time loving those that do.
But at the same time, don’t expect us to love them equally to those that actually love us back.
Afterall, the majority of us had heard the phrase “Sorry I don’t date Asian guys.”
The post is obviously a dig at Asian guys and I laughed because I don’t mind having a laugh at my own expense every now and then. But I find it even more funny that some people are brushing off the topic as irrevelant and unimportant. Not everyone wants to be a manager or a CEO, not everyone wants to be a rock star or a movie star, but everyone wants to be in a romantic relationship.
And if you’re an Asian American Guy, you’re much more likely to hear “Sorry, I don’t date Asian guys” than facing some violent racist attack in the bar.
But then again, we should have known better. If an Asian guy rejects a girl because she’s not skinny enough, he will dismissed as shallow and does not respect women, but if a girl rejects an Asian guy because he’s not tall enough…than that’s perfectly fine.
And I agree there’s too much focus on the girls that doesn’t love us (and I admit I’ve done the same in the recent past) and not enough focus on the ones that do. Remember that the girls that love us is generally brought up in the exact same environment as those that doesn’t, but they still manage to discover us amongst the crowd and find us to be:
adorable,
dateable,
desirable
and of course
loveable.
And they will appreciately that we love them for who they are because:
We love their gorgeous brown eyes and jet black hair (or which ever shade of brown highlights is fashionable at the moment);
We love their body which is actually humanly proportioned and free of silicone and completely unlike the body type of swimsuit models which the media sells as ‘desirable’;
We love their chubby cheeks because they are completely different to the skeletal, anorexic face that Hollywood try to claim as ‘Beautiful’;
We love the fact that they share our same language (i.e. English) and will occasionally sneak in a few words of Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese/Mandarin/Cantonese/Tagalog which we may or may not understand and the opposite may apply depending on our FOBiness;
We love the fact that we can whinge about our parents together but still loved them (and their cooking);
We love the fact that people will still ask us (occasionally anyway) which high school we goto when we’ve graduated from university a few years ago.
We love them because they understand that our Asian friends are actually ‘American’ enough.
We love their beautiful voices and how seriously they take Karaoke – and the frowns we receive when we perform our version of “YMCA” in a Karaoke room (Yes, Room! Not bar).
We love how they claim they are full, wants us to finish their meal, but still have room for three serves of desserts.
We love their amazing make-up skills which really proves that “Impossible is nothing”.
In conclusion, we spent too much time hating those that doesn’t love us when we should be spending the time loving those that do.
But at the same time, don’t expect us to love them equally to those that actually love us back.
Afterall, the majority of us had heard the phrase “Sorry I don’t date Asian guys.”
@Takuma No, I disagree with you. Ed actually has a thought-out response and it’s a shame he’s leaving because he’s one of more rational writer here. I don’t post much — i just read. I don’t know how to say this without coming off as “Angry Asian Man” but here goes.
I understand 50% of Asian blogs are made up of IR dating, and that this article is suppose to be a joke (more or less), but it’s the same old beating-a-dead-horse convo. It’s poking and insulting Asian men but it hides behind the “just joking” label as its scapegoat.
@N “The post is obviously a dig at Asian guys and I laughed because I don’t mind having a laugh at my own expense every now and then”
Well brotha, how many time did you laugh at our expense this month?
@akrypti I don’t mean to attack you, but I’m just letting you know how I feel. And seriously:
” I’m not talking equal opportunity here: I’m talking straight up quotas and preferential treatment. I propose that all straight unmarried women (and since this is 8A, I’m specifically directing the proposition at women of Asian-descent everywhere, hapas this includes you too) agree to a 50% quota, hereinafter the Quota. 50% of all the men you date should be Asian”
Y-eah, spare me; I don’t need your pity-date. It’s insulting that you think I can’t find a women to like me, for me. But you’re just joking. (right?) It’s post like these that causes the distance between AM and AW; it’s disheartening to know your own ‘sister’ harbors these thoughts.
This might just be my last post because I’m also thinking of just leaving this site. We’ll see. Like I said, I know I sound like Angry Asian Man, but it’s just how I feel. Speaking of AAM, I think I’m just going to stick to his site. At least it’s about Asian awarness and how to help the Asian community.
Just my $0.02
This is a fantastic article. People will hate and i’m sure you knew that when you wrote it. Anyway, 2 thumbs way up. 🙂
@EmilyElaineDzenowski
Thanks! Well, I *was* hoping people could see I intended satire. Now in retrospect, not sure that came across to all….
@N
To be clear, the issues those statistics I cited raise and the causes behind them are very serious, and not funny at all, and it has little to do with any faults of Asian males. Sure, they’ve got faults, but those faults are not why there is an IR disparity. I am in no way “blaming the Asian man” as some commenters on here seem to think. And that isn’t their fault either, since they have no context for where I’m coming from.
All that said, the IR disparity debate as it splashes out on the blogosphere? Super funny.
@Takuma
I’m also pretty sure you’re not one of the men whining repeatedly on internet forums calling all Asian women wretched whores because they date non-Asian men in droves and leave their poor fellow Asian men behind. How I figured it was … what would be my response to one of those men? I figured it out. It’s affirmative action. I propose affirmative action. We all will date 50% Asian men. Would that shut them up?
@Ed
“Ah the beating drum of the self-righteous.”
Annnd…. says the pot to the kettle….
@mr. hann @Takuma @N
It was a dig at women, too. And I don’t think any part of what I wrote suggested that I thought the stats I cited were funny.You will see what you want to see out of any writing, and you saw that I was attacking men only. And the Asian women who subscribe to an “I-don’t-date-Asian-guys” policy will read this post as attacking them. It is how it is.
@mr. hann Ed does have well thought out responses but I think he took this particular article a bit too seriously. I can see how the article might be insulting but in this case I can stand a joke. However that is not to say I would be fine with a racist or stereotypical joke. The quota is a bad (joke) idea since I am sure most ppl do not want pity dates. So when it comes to women who outright state that they don’t date Asian guys I may feel dissapointed If I liked her but I would know she isn’t worth mine or anybody else’s time because she is close minded and might be somewhat self hating.
@Takuma @mr
And there you’ve touched on another subtext to this jab: my political views toward affirmative action, like the real one more intelligent people talk about, FDR, U Mich Law, UC and all that. Knowing my position on affirmative action would better color this post: it renders it even clearer that I’m kidding and that in no way do I think a quota would actually work. Now I’m left to wonder how many of these men crying, “I don’t want any pity dates!” would gladly accept admission to the university of choice because of some affirmative action policy in place that sought out a fellow of color just like him.
@akrypti @mr I know you were kidding and that there was no way you were serious. I was only speaking in response to hann. Hm I feel a little bad that my college isn’t on that list but oh well, CSU isn’t the greatest set of schools. Satire is satire. But affirmative action is needed in things that matter, relationships aren’t part of that 😛
@Ed Don’t let the door hit you on your way out 😀
Ed, I appreciate your well thought out response. Leaving ‘The Discussion’ won’t help anyone. Everyone is at a different place in their understanding of the big picture of what’s going on with race relations in this country, and the best thing people like you can do is spread the word. If you’re writing elsewhere, let me know.
I laughed, and I’m surprised people are taking this so seriously. I mean, the issue obviously should be taken seriously, but the article VERY clearly pokes fun at the ridiculous extremes most discussions of IR relationships get to in the AA blogosphere.
As for real affirmative action, I think the logic with such programs is on-point, but ONLY using affirmative action to fix institutionalized racism is misguided. Problems with deep roots such as that, and the IR issue need to be tackled at the base level for there to be any form of change. Discussing how would be very daunting, though, so people tend to just trim the leaves instead, so to speak (yay tree metaphors)
@Kalbi_Kid Well, that’s one of the things about blogs: people will have different opinions on different things.
@ErikaHarada I can appreciate akrypti’s humor, and honestly, I appreciate AA women even willing to address the issue. While we’re talking extreme action plans and satire, here’s mine: the OkCupid blog and others have suggested that Black women have “low dating capital” similar to API men. Are you ready for this? API men should start kicking it to Black women and vice versa.
@akrypti @Bunni I would say when you talk about oversimplistic, holier-than-thou statements, this takes the cake:
“With a strict, national implementation of the Quota, the Asian male gripe will cease to exist. ”
Translation: “Asian males whine way too much about this, why dont’ they STFU already?”
Also please don’t attribute this statement to being a satirical piece, the sentiments in it are clear.
@Kalbi_Kid I don’t think that’s extreme at all; API men and Black women should be open to dating each other.
@akrypti @EmilyElaineDzenowski I honestly mean this in the “nicest” way possible–but when a large majority of people misinterpret your goals and intentions in writing something, perhaps they shouldn’t be the ones to blame for this.
Satire isn’t for everyone and it obviously isn’t easy, but dismissing any “hidden messages” or agendas simply by stating it’s “satirical” doesn’t really help the case.
The point of satire IS to provide a message and commentary on things-The Onion, Jon Stewart, Colbert, etc..take a biased stand on how things actually are through satire, and what they say holds a lot of weight, especially in the eyes of young people.
As the late Mark Twain said, “Lies, damn lies and statistics.” It’s been my experience that depending on who is doing them and participating in said surveys, data can and is on a regular basis tampered with and seldom completely accurate. What many fail to realize is that most Asian men are coerced by parents to marry “a nice Asian girl” of their race. A lot of Asian men who are married will tell you they did in fact date white girls but in the end brought home a female mom and dad would approve of to keep peace in the family. Asian girls leave home and become part of her husband’s family so it’s not as important for her to stay within their race. Just because an Asian guy doesn’t marry outside his race doesn’t mean he couldn’t get one he just chose a bride his parents would approve of. I get tired of the media assuming white women are the top of the food chain and if a guy doesn’t marry one he must not be able to get one.
@TienVNguyen @akrypti @EmilyElaineDzenowski I don’t really understand your comment here. The piece is satirical and it does make a point, albeit a sarcastic one. People are taking it completely literally which is pretty absurd because it’s written in such an over-the-top, sarcastic way.
@TienVNguyen @akrypti @EmilyElaineDzenowski Actually, that depends on which definition of satire you use.
If you’re exposing something through irony, or the like, then that’s the type that your example shows with Colbert, Stewart, Onion, et al. If you’re just ridiculing human folly for sake of ridicule, that too is satire although it’s a lesser definition.
I think that @ErikaHarada points out a good point. The message is pretty clear, and it’s a sarcastic message. Philosophically speaking, even a non-message is a message. Yeah. Try thinking that one through. 😉
@ErikaHarada erikaharada Didn’t mean the idea was extreme, but the act of encouraging people of one group to date people of a particular group might be perceived as such. 🙂 Hybrid Vigor FTW.
@David06 @Kalbi_Kid Differences!? You didn’t know? We here at 8A are one homogenous drone of a mind. Every opinion of one absolutely represents the opinion of all.
You know what, strike that. It’s clear I suck at satire. I really don’t want someone to take that the wrong way and be all like OMG 8A… OMG.. they’re drones.
@TienVNguyen @EmilyElaineDzenowski Oopsie, there! Guess your view isn’t the “large majority”! What a ding to the ego. Don’t you hate it when that happens? 0:-)
@akrypti Asian people don’t get sarcasm, or satire. Asian people don’t joke. We’re not funny at all.
U think my parents migrated all the way to this country to be a clown. I think not. If you want to be a clown, go to medical school first, you can go to clown school in your free time after.
@akrypti @EmilyElaineDzenowski
Asian people don’t get sarcasm and satire. Asian people don’t joke. We’re not funny. Funny is a waste of time. Have you met Asian people, especially single Asian guys? Not funny.
U think your parents migrated all the way to this country for you to be a clown. I think not. If you want to be a clown, go get your medical degree first, then you can go to clown school after in your free time.
What would your mother think!
@akrypti @N I really don’t get where people are getting this “Asian girls don’t date Asian guys” thing. I’m Asian and I’ve never had an Asian chick say that to me. In class, at a club, at a bar etc., I’ve never heard anyone say something like that except once from a really unattractive hapa chick from Hong Kong (who tried to hook up with my South Asian friend but failed) saying she clearly preferred white guys. But no good looking guy, white, asian, black, indian is chasing after her anyways.
I’ve seen a higher percentage of Asian girls with White guys, but I’ve also seen a lot of Asian guys with White girls. And to be honest, the Asian girl/White guystend to be a lot dorkier, whereas the Asian guys/White girl couples tend to be better looking (my non-Asian friends, agree with this so it’s not my biased perspective here, especially since a lot of these stem through frat/sororities). So where’s the issue?
3 of my Asian friends get the most action humanely possible (1 in through frat system, and 2 club promoters), have no issues at all. In fact they prefer white chicks, but Asian chicks love them. I can’t walk into a party without seeing some chick on top making out with them. They’re Asian, and 1 guy is only 5’7. But consensus among girls is is they’re really attractive.
Where are you guys looking for dates? The KKK convention? Seriously, where?! Maybe if you’re looking for Asian girls that really only want to date Asian guys, go to an Asian nightclub? Or if you’re looking for white chicks go to a country bar?
@vancity_canuck I’m just gonna go ahead and assume you’re not actually Asian.
@vancity_canuck oh wait. just read the rest of the thread. n/m
@TienVNguyen @Bunni Tien, it’s not that I want to poke fun at your critical reading skills, really it’s not.
“Being dismissive of something a pretty big chunk of people from our community — whether you like them or not, whether you’re friends with them or not, whether you think they’re losers or not — because we pit Randian concepts of individual rights against an address of dominance theory?” See supra.
Does a reasonable, objective reading of that line suggest to you that I really believe “Asian males whine way too much” and “why don’t they STFU already”? Or perhaps it suggests that I have quite a bit of compassion for the issue and find egregious flaws in arguing “individual rights” to date whomever you want and by framing it as strictly an individual rights issue, many Asian women end up ignoring one of the deepest-rooted causes of the IR disparity, found in dominance theory, which to sum up in layspeak means “we live in a white-male-dominated world and as a result many of our laws, ideologies, and even personal paradigms are affected, consciously or subconsciously, by white male dominance.”
And if I sincerely believed the “whining” is unfounded, would I have chosen to cite the sources and authorities I ended up citing?
@akrypti Akrypti Do you go by TZ on Byron site http://www.bigwowo.com or more importantly is this you http://www.tarynzhang.com/about.html Akrypti aka TZ aka Taryn Zang aka Sunny. If not, she looks like you.
@ Ed I hope you come back brother. I have no trouble attracting other pretty Asian females. I hope to marry marry my one true love back in Asia. Some of the straight Asians guys here Fob or westernized have to be more sociable (not shy) and take care of their looks. Yes I said it, I used to be shy and introverted, but as I get older I knew I had to do a radical makeover. Do give up hope Ed and I hope you find your Asian beauty and get married and have children together like what we all want Love, family and children.
@Kalbi_Kid @ErikaHarada are you speaking of social engineering? why I only thought it was a tool of fascist totalitarian governments, not the democratic republics like the USA!
@Kalbi_Kid @ErikaHarada are you speaking of social engineering? why I only thought it was a tool of fascist totalitarian governments, not the democratic republics like the USA!
@vancity_canuck @akrypti @EmilyElaineDzenowski or be willing to pull your pants down in movies about Asian gay mobsters that has token white people getting drunk.
@N you must be a really rich dude to love Asian girls like that
@mwei No. No I am not.
@vancity_canuck @akrypti I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you’re about 19, Chinese, and go to UBC. I live in Seattle and go to Vancouver frequently, so hooray, we’re neighbors. You may have heard this, but Canada, as with everything else it does, defines its model of multiculturalism in opposition to the American “melting pot” model. As you may have heard, sh*t’s a little different in Canada, especially Vancouver, which is ~50% Asian. http://tinyurl.com/ydwtptf Part of the reason I love Vancouver is for its uniquely large Asian presence in a North American city. It’s definitely pretty trippy to see for any readers who’ve never been. That all said, your experience dealing with Asian women and Asians generally is probably very unlike that of anyone living in any other North American city. You know how in some places, Asians get uncomfortable around each other? As though they feel like there are too many Asians in one place or something and it might look weird? No. Of course not, because you’re from Van. It’s the same in Hawaii where I’m from. I have noticed that Asians in Vancouver are considerably less awkward around each other than even in Seattle (~12% Asian). Although the Asian women not wanting to date Asian men thing most certainly exists in Vancouver (as does the IR disparity), I believe it’s probably considerably less prevalent than anywhere else in N.Am. In moving to the mainland US, I was shocked by the number of API women willing to state matter of factly that they would never date “a full Asian guy.” A quick read through any Asian American forum thread discussing the IR disparity will reveal some horror stories. Trust me, it’s real in both our countries, and there are a lot of issues going on re: self-hatred, a racial hierarchy, buffer race, model minority, etc., that are causing it. Publicly having conversations like this one are the biggest part of the cure. – kalbi_kid
I enjoyed the humor in the article, but I can’t help but feel that the whole Interracial Dating Disparity thing has been done to ad nauseum. I go out walking around in the Bay Area and I always see PLENTY of AA guys with AA girls. As an Asian American female myself, I’ll confess that I’m only attracted to Asian-American men. And I’m sure I’m not the only one! Still I do realize that the disparity is a very serious problem and am glad for the article.
What I’m noticing in my community (one that has a high % of SEA immigrants) is that once an Asian woman hits a certain age (lets say 40-50+), she has no choice but to “marry out.” The problem is that the older Asian men who are the same age group would rather go back to the “homeland” and bring back younger + prettier Asian brides. Granted, there’s always a chance that young bride will end up leaving once she gets a green card or lands a younger man. It’s a vicious cycle that seems to be pretty common among the Immigrant populace…
@Kalbi_Kid Yes, I am from UBC. And if you love Vancouver for it’s large Asian population, then you should venture around the lower mainland area, there’s an even higher percentage around Richmond, and Burnaby.
Anyways, in every city you’ll have certain women that won’t date a certain race of people. But things aren’t always so black and white, girls lose these rules once they become attracted. Besides, I’ve seriously never had an Asian chick say this to me. If anything, they’re probably a lot more patient with me for those nights when I’m shitshowed and hitting on them. But who cares if she really doesn’t date asian guys? I’ve met white chicks with some pretty sour personalities that date Asian guys, that doesn’t make them any better or worse.
I had a short work internship in Seattle once. I’ve only gone partying there once , so I can’t comment on the Asian singles scene there. I actually went with a white chick near UW, but it wasn’t that fun and I got some weird looks from Asian/white/black guys. But I knew it wasn’t going to be as pretty as Vancouver, but I enjoyed myself. And I heard there are a lot of affluent Asians in Bellevue living a good lifestyle.
Sure, your average-to ugly looking Caucasian-American guy will probably find a date easier than your average-to ugly looking Asian-American guy. But a lot of it stems from personality, and I’ve met quite a few weird/rude Asian-American guys (I have some family from LA, and even he says AA guys are weird. Btw, he’s married to a Latina chick). Regardless, anytime I I’m at a party and there are attractive Asian girls around, it’s expected that I approach them in my group if I’m the only Asian guy there. Sometimes they end up attracted to the non-Asian guys in my group, sometimes me, sometimes none of us. That’s the way dating works unless you’re from Iran or Amish.
Asian girls are in high demand with every race. But do you plan to hook up with every Asian chick on the continent? Like I said prior, the Asian guy/White chick relationships I’ve seen, the chicks are hot. I’ve rarely seen a really good looking Asian girl/White guy couple (not that I’m trying to insult anyone, just making a very guy point). As long as you get action at the party, who cares what’s happening/dating who around you? All you need to do is find 1. Hawaii sounds like it has an equally good scene – so party there. I’d love to have the opportunity to party there. I have Asian friends Las Vegas that get a lot of luck at clubs. That’s just knowing your market and utilizing it (ie: don’t go to Oklahoma to party and expect a ton of action).