8 Asians

We love it when Asians behave badly. It gives us something to gossip about and also, it makes us feel pretty badass. It’s true. It’s like a slap in the face to that annoying stereotype about being submissive model minorities. You want high SAT scores? How about a dumb lawsuit?

Of course, this doesn’t mean we condone any sort of bad behavior. No, you shouldn’t lie about getting job offers and you shouldn’t try to steal money from cute boys. Actually, what am I even saying? These people make us look bad. Maybe I shouldn’t write about this.

So I’ll just say that I’ve been enjoying the case of 19 year old Rachel Lee and her burglary “bling ring”. If you’ve ever needed proof that paparazzi sites like TMZ are bad for society, then here you go: thanks to the proliferation of Hollywood gossip blogs like TMZ (and probably Google Maps), Lee and her friends were able to track down and rob the homes of Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson, Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge and other famous people who probably deserved it.

(I mean, let’s be real. They didn’t even have to break in: these people never locked their doors. Plus, like Paris Hilton ever wears the same outfit twice? Rachel probably put good use to those diamond watches.)

Conclusion: Rachel needs a book deal so she can tell us what exactly is inside Lindsay Lohan’s house. Cocaine? Discarded hair extensions? What’s left of her career?

Rachel. You’re Asian. You should be smart enough to get yourself out of this mess. Make us look good!

I am devastated — still — about the results of the World Series. I make no secret of the fact that I loathe the Yankees. To put it simply, I loathe any team except for my beloved Dodgers; I am a die-hard, bleeding blue, Dodgers fan. And, as upset and heart-broken as I am about our (Dodgers’) loss, I have the consolation of knowing that Hideki Matsui was crowned World Series MVP. Matsui is the first Japanese-Born player to win this award and I could not be happier for him.

It pains me more than you can know to praise someone who wears anything but Dodger blue, but I need to give our fellow Asian brethren recognition when it’s due. To put it simply, he played exceptionally well – especially considering he plays with bad knees. Not only is he the first Japanese-born player to win this honor, he’s also the first player to win as a full-time DH (designated hitter) in the series. And although his future with the Yankees is unknown, the world knows that Matsui is an exceptional baseball player and has left them (Yankees) with a memorable game.

As someone who grew up in the U.S., I never really got the Disney bug as a child. Maybe it’s because I grew up in New York, far away from either Disneyland and Disneyworld. My first experience with Disneyland wasn’t until I was in college and visiting an aunt and uncle in Los Angeles. There also wasn’t much to pick from in animated Disney films as I was growing up. Fast forward, and today, thanks to having a 4 year old daughter, I’m in over my head in Disney paraphernalia. I can tell you the name of every Disney Princess, including the one who’s going to be introduced this December.

We’ve spoiled our daughter and taken her to Disneyland for her birthday each year, so we’ve gotten pretty familiar with the theme park. In addition my company has even held an event in EuroDisney, which I got to attend. What I didn’t realize until reading about the latest Disneyland planned for Shanghai, is that there’s already one in Hong Kong and Tokyo.

The park in Shanghai has been in planning for the last 20 years, and finally won approval this month. It’s estimated it will be completed in 5 to 6 years and be a little larger in size than the current Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. Disney hopes this theme park will create the kind of marketing engine that the other Disney parks have, encouraging families to buy into the paraphernalia the way my family has.

In part, the promotion of Disney within my own family has been largely my fault, as I was looking for role models for my daughter, and thought Mulan, with all its flawed images of Chinese culture, was at least a good independent Asian female role model, and not the helpless princesses of other Disney classics. Unfortunately, my daughter never took to Mulan and instead favors Snow White, who relies on others to save her. Disney to their credit did also produce an American Native Princess, Pocahontas, and East Indian Princess, Jasmine. And finally this Christmas season, the African American Princess, Tiana. My daughter can’t wait to go see this latest movie, so I think I’ll refrain from letting her know there’s another Disneyland she can visit until she’s a little older.

By Elaine

We Asians finally have our own version of Aleksey Vayner, the Yale graduate who applied for a job on Wall Street a few years ago with an eleven page resume (complete with video) that claimed he could bench press 500 lbs, leg press 1650lbs, and was employed by the CIA and Mafia, among other things. Meet Jeffrey Chiang — current student at The McCombs School of Business at The University of Texas at Austin — whose unfortunate story has been spreading throughout the interwebs like crazy.  This 2010 graduate supposedly lied to not one but two big firms: Bank of American and Morgan Stanley.  According to Bess Levin of Dealbreaker:

Chiang apparently interviewed at Bank of America, where he was asked if he had any offers from other firms. Jeffrey claimed that he was in his second round of interviews with Morgan Stanley. An associate at BofA then contacted his friend at Morgan about Jeffrey’s prospects. The Morgan guy said that contrary to popular belief, JC had only had a phone interview, at which time he claimed to have gotten a full-out offer from BofA. As proof, JC provided a fabricated email allegedly from a recruiting woman at Bank of America, who would probably be surprised to be informed she’d offered Chiang a job (and that she didn’t know how to spell “America”). The Morgan people forwarded the faux letter of employment back to the people at Bank of America who were doing recon and from there it was forwarded to the entire free world.

Both Blippitt and Dealbreaker also have copies of Chiang’s emails, along with his resume where he claims to have run a “5k marathon.”

Am I the only one truly appalled not by Chiang’s conduct, but by the fact of how boring his fake email was?  At this point, lies and deceit in business are all par for the course, and what really gets my goat is the utter lack of creativity and spellcheck he displayed. Levin seems to agree, saying “Obviously, the lies here are not good form but what’s most upsetting is the lack of effort.” Misspelling “America?” Come on!

I have to admit, this story is especially near and dear to my heart because I too am a UT student, albeit one on the opposite side of the spectrum – The College of Liberal Arts. As many of you may know, UT is known for its business school, which usually ranks very highly. This story comes at a rather timely moment; UT is planning major budget cuts with what seems to be extremely vague reasoning.   According to the Texas State Employees Union and Communications Workers of America, The College of Liberal Arts may lose 20-33% of non-tenured instructors (about 78-300 people). 40 support staff from IT and the College of Engineering were laid off in the past two weeks.  As one of my professors Tom Palaima once questioned, if UT has one of the best business schools in the nation, how are we in this financial mess?  I’ll agree with him, and raise him this: If UT is truly one of the best colleges in the nation, how come we make internet news not with stories of success but with stories of ridiculous budget cuts and Jeffrey Chiang?

Photo courtesy: Blippitt

ABOUT ELAINE: Elaine Wang is currently a senior at the University of Texas at Austin.  She stumbled upon 8Asians while at work in a research lab.

Of all the new shows this fall season, one of my favorites is ABC’s Modern Family which tells the story of three inter-related families in a mockumentary style – sort of The Office meets a family sitcom. One of the families is represented by a same sex couple, Mitchell and Cameron, who have adopted a Vietnamese girl, Lily. In the most recent episode, Mitchell accidentally bumps Lily’s head against the ceiling – and being concerned, Mitchell and Cameron take their daughter to see a doctor, who happens to be an Asian American woman who grew up in Denver.

Cameron, being white and feeling he needs to justify the adoption of Lily, makes some inappropriate comments and hilarity ensues.

You read that right– anime hip-hop martial arts musical! It’s all that and a bag of chips!*

East West Players has gathered a creative team to develop a new musical that utilizes all three art forms and a 25 minute presentation of this work in progress will be performed on Friday, November 20, 7:30pm at the National Center for the Preservation of Democracy in Little Tokyo, Los Angeles. A Q&A discussion will follow.

The working title for the production is KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE.

Description: The heart of hip-hop is in the battle. Young Norman Lee must learn this if he hopes to survive his new high school life as an Upper Westside import now transported to Bushwick, Brooklyn, after his Mom loses her 6-figure salary job. After being bullied, beat-down, and watching his Mom swallow her pride by accepting a job as a fast food fry cook, young Norman Lee enlists the guidance of Sir Master Cert to help him learn the ways of b-boy to compete against the baddest crew in Bushwick for respect, honor, and a chance to prove to his Mom that this life away from material wealth can and will work.

The creative team includes: bookwriter Qui Nguyen, lyricist Beau Sia, composer Marc Macalintal, hip-hop choreographer Jason Tyler Chong and anime consultant Jane Wu. The presentation is directed by East West Players’ artistic director Tim Dang and reunites Dang, Chong and Macalintal after their successful collaboration of the 2008 hit run of PIPPIN.

The Writers’ Gallery offers public readings of works that are being considered for the mainstage at East West Players and are presented in conjunction with the Japanese American National Museum and The National Center for the Preservation of Democracy. This workshop is made possible in part by The James Irvine Foundation and The National Endowment for the Arts which believes that a great nation deserves great art; and by the support of individual donors.

The Writers’ Gallery presentation of KRUNK-FU BATTLE BATTLE (working title) will be on
Date: Friday, November 20th
Time: 7:30pm
Venue: National Center for the Preservation of Democracy
111 North Central Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90012
Admission: free

For more information, please call East West Players at (213) 625-7000 or visit www.eastwestplayers.org. Dates and details are subject to change.

*Ok, I lied. No chips– no food and drink allowed inside at National Center for the Preservation of Democracy