8 Asians

Ever since the Internet has been available to Asian Americans, we’ve heard random shit about Asian American men: They’re effeminate. They’re child abusers. They’re wife beaters. They’re undesirable to women (or men, for that matter). They’re drunkards. They’re socially inept nerds who prefer playing WoW or D&D than having actual conversations in real life, where the sun shines.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that we have yet another stereotype to be aware (or proud?) of: We’re cheaters!

Normally, this wouldn’t even register on my radar — ooh, straight Asian guys are having sex. yay — but then realizing how the stereotypes of Asian men have been since at least the 1960s, when apparently Asian men couldn’t have sex with anyone except themselves, it’s good to know that American women (read: middle-class white women) are finally acknowledging this basic fact: Straight Asian men are getting it on. WITH WOMEN. WHITE WOMEN. AND THEY CHEAT.

Of course, when you read the article, it’s painted with incredibly broad brushstrokes (“Asian” culture? Gag.), but it does point, however awkwardly, that straight male privilege is the same in nearly all parts of the globe.  Men are expected to be the breadwinners, work excessive hours to maintain their jobs and their families, and are lucky to see their wives/partners/etc. more than once a week, while having to deal with their stress by excessive drinking, womanizing, etc., because the workplace culture demands it.  And of course, if the writer is assuming this by dating ten or even twenty Asian men, that’s still not enough to make any generalizations.

At least it’s better than the assumption that Asian men are all docile little pussycats that would be the nearly-white men that these white women can take home to meet their (incredibly racist but overly polite to mention it) mothers.

So, to the original writer of that post: Asian men are still men. And some Asian men are douchebags and assholes who will cheat on your complacent white ass (like a certain Asian American man who’s been WAY overexposed who’s known for having eight kids.) And some Asian men are the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. You’ve just been unlucky to meet a whole slew of douchebags.

Just before we broke for the weekend, Moye shared this NSFW video with the other 8Asians writers. “Date An Asian” is a comedic R&B song written by musician/comedian Jen Kwok.

In the style of “a mid-tempo Mariah Carey club joint”, the song has a rare message: extolling the awesomeness of “dating” an Asian guy! Jen wrote “Date an Asian” as a positive and lighthearted reaction to negative stereotypes about Asian guys. The song was originally written and performed on ukulele, and premiered at Gotham Comedy Club in 2008 to a both shocked and appreciative audience. Soon after, she recruited her friend, rapper Soce, The Elemental Wizard, to produce the song and perform a guest verse from the gay guy’s perspective. Jen and Soce have been performing the song live for New York City audiences to great laughter and acclaim.

The video features some of New York’s top male Asian stand-up and improv comedians, and the breakdance troupe Part-Time Models. And in case you didn’t get the lyrics the first time, you can read them here.

My favorite line is in the bridge: “Where my bubble tea drinkers at? (Everyone should be raising their hands for that one – it’s delicious!)”

While the reactions were mixed amongst us, Ernie summed up his opinion with: “Is that… is that a gay nerdcore rapper that just did her breakdown? OH SHIT, it totally is. Insta-win.” He then proceeded to re-watch the video another 13 times.

Hooray for bubble tea, Jen Kwok, gay nerdcore rappers, and of course, dating Asian men!

(Can we please add this to our 8Asians Glee Club song list?)